PARTMENT – AFTERNOON
(Scene opens on Duke’s reflection in a mirror as he jells and combs his hair. As he finishes with his hair and puts the comb away the sound of a phone ringing is heard. Cut to a full shot of Duke’s apartment as he walks over to his phone and puts it up to his ear. Cut to a medium shot of Duke as the conversation starts.)
LANA
(From inside the phone.) Hello I’m calling about my reservations at-
DUKE
Lana, is that you?
LANA
Who is this?
DUKE
(Excited) It’s me Duke!
LANA
Butchmann?
DUKE
Yeah!
LANA
(In an uncomfortable tone.) …oh.
DUKE
It’s been forever since we’ve seen each other, how are you? I would have called but I guess you forgot to give me your contact information before you changed your number.
LANA
Right… Listen, I dialed your number by mistake and I have a rather important call to make so-
DUKE
Well before you hang up we should make plans to meet up. How about our old bar?
LANA
You don’t really still hang out in bars all day do you?
DUKE
Uh… no! I just thought it would be nice to meet on familiar ground that’s all.
LANA
Maybe… I have to go.
(Lana hangs up and Duke puts down the phone and sulks for a moment. He hears someone knock on the door. As he walks over to open it he snaps back to his usual overconfident demeanor. He opens the door and Wilt enters carrying a bunch of papers.)
WILT
Hey, are you busy?
DUKE
I got a date in a few minutes.
WILT
What are you this time, a doctor?
DUKE
I am an officer of the law. Anyway, can I help you with something?
(Wilt walks over to Duke’s coffee table and spreads the papers out on it. Duke follows and they both sit down.)
WILT
You might want to rethink that date. I looked up Aphrodite on the internet and-
DUKE
I had a question about that actually. How can she be called “Aftro-dite” if she isn’t black?
WILT
That’s not… anyway, it turns out that she is actually a Greek goddess.
DUKE
That’s something to brag about.
WILT
This is serious! Aphrodite is the goddess of love, beauty, and sexuality. You seemed to have pissed her off real good and I think you might be in danger.
DUKE
Danger? What’s she going to do, love me to death?
WILT
I’m just saying that I don’t think you should go out tonight.
DUKE
Hmm. Let me think. Go out and get laid or stay here and learn about Greek culture with you.
WILT
(Standing up.) Look, I’m trying to help you. Why won’t you let me?
DUKE
Because you’re clearly just making this up since you can’t handle how awesome my life is. Plus all you ever do is complain.
WILT
When do I ever complain?
DUKE
You only recently stopped whining about losing your job at the fire department.
WILT
That’s because you’re the reason I was fired!
DUKE
Then there was that whole thing with your ex-girlfriend.
WILT
You slept with her!
DUKE
See? Always complaining.
WILT
You know what? Fine! I’m sorry I ever tried to help you. Just go.
DUKE
(Heading over to the door.) Good idea. Why stay in here when I can be in Katie- (Turns back to Wilt before exiting.) -‘s house.
(Duke exits with an obnoxious smile on his face while Wilt glares angrily at him.)
INT. BAR – NIGHT
(Scene opens with a full shot of the bar which is now clean. The bartender is washing the counter and serving various customers their drinks. Above them a T.V. is positioned which is broadcasting the news. One of the customers chugs their last beer and motions for the bartender.)
CHUCK
I’m turning in. Give me my keys.
(The bartender looks at Chuck for a moment who is wobbling a little bit and holding out his hand for the car keys.)
BARTENDER
Chuck, I’m not sure your o.k. to… ah, never mind.
(The bartender hands over the keys and Chuck exits. Cut to a close up of the T.V. which shows a female news anchor and to file photo of Katie.)
NEWS ANCHOR
In other news: Fugitive Katherine Murphy is still at large. So far she has killed six male counterparts, two female, and one house cat. Police are urging people to stay in their homes and not to confront Katherine if they happen to see her.
(Cut to a medium shot of the bartender and some drunk that he is handing a drink to as he turns to look up at the screen.)
BARTENDER
Wait a minute. I know her.
(The camera zooms in on him as he pauses to make it look like he is about to say something dramatic.)
BARTENDER
That news anchor up there is my niece!
(Cut back to the previous mediums shot. The bartender is nudging the drunk trying to get his attention.)
BARTENDER
She always said she’d make it on T.V. and there she is!
DRUNK
(Bored) Hurray.
NEWS ANCHOR
This just in: After looking at some security footage from a local bar police have spotted Katherine socializing with this man who has been identified as Duke Butchmann. They still have no other leads on her location nor have they been able to contact Duke. Our experts predict that Katherine will most likely kill him tonight.
BARTENDER
(Still only paying attention to his niece.) Good for her.
INT. KATIE’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
(Scene opens on Duke and Katie who are both sitting on Katie’s couch while drinking wine. Duke pretends to yawn and stretch while he “sneakily” puts his arm around Katie.)
KATIE
I’m really glad you’re here Duke.
DUKE
(Smugly) Why wouldn’t you be?
KATIE
(Giggle) Oh, you are just too much.
DUKE
I prefer to think that I’m just enough.
(Katie continues to laugh as she turns to pour some more wine. While facing away from Duke, Close up on his glass as some powder is seen being slipped into it. Then cut back to a medium shot of Duke and Katie as she hands him the drink.)
KATIE
So, what’s it like being a policeman?
DUKE
(Obviously rehearsed.) I’m not going to lie, it gets pretty dangerous. Lurking around every corner of this fine city is some fiend just waiting to get a shot at me. We’ve lost so many good men. But in the end it’s all worth it to protect the people I care about.
KATIE
Wow. Do you ever get scared?
DUKE
(Laughs obnoxiously.) Please! The key to survival in the face of danger is having complete situational awareness.
(Duke drinks from his cup and then leans in to kiss Katie but the poison in his wine takes effect and he ends up face-planting on the floor.)
INT. WILT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
(The camera pans into Wilt’s bathroom through the doorway and we hear the sound of him showering from behind the shower curtain. Wilt steps out and we see him, from the waist up, go get a towel to wrap around himself. After he does this the camera turns to reveal that the cloaked woman from before has been standing in the room the whole time.)
JASMINE
Are you Wilt Jones?
WILT
(Startled) What the
hell!?! Were you watching me shower?
JASMINE
We have more important matters to discuss.
WILT
I don’t think we do!
JASMINE
I understand that you are friends with Duke Butchmann.
(Jasmine hands Wilt a bathrobe which Wilt puts on as he talks.)
WILT
Not anymore.
JASMINE
Good. I was worried that I would have to talk you out of rescuing him.
WILT
Rescue? From what?
JASMINE
(Realizing that she made a mistake.) Um…
(Camera follows Wilt as he runs out of the bathroom to the phone in his living room. He picks up the phone and dials franticly.)
DUKE’S VOICEMAIL
(From inside the phone.) Yo! You got Duke. Leave a message after the beep. (Beep)
WILT
Duke, call me the second you get this!
(Wilt puts down the phone and turns around to find Jasmine standing in front of him.)
JASMINE
Listen, Duke in caught up in the middle of some very dangerous business. His fate has already been determined and although you might not fully understand why, it’s best for you not to get involved.
WILT
So what? Am I just supposed to abandon him?
(Jasmine walks over to the window and opens it. Cut to a medium shot of her by the window.)
JASMINE
All I’m saying is: In the end there won’t be anything that you can do to save him. Is all of this really worth risking your life? Think about it.
(Jasmine jumps out of the window and Wilt runs over to look for her. Cut to a point of view shot looking out the window to show that Jasmine is gone.)
INT. KATIE’S BASEMENT – NIGHT
(Scene opens in total darkness.)
KATIE
Wake up sleepyhead.
(Darkness disappears and Katie is seen though Duke’s point of view. Duke’s vision is slightly blurred but slowly comes into focus.)
KATIE
Rise and shine.
(Cut to a full shot of the room to show Duke tied to a chair in Katie’s basement.)
DUKE
(Slowly regaining consciousness.) Where am I?
KATIE
My house, silly. The same place you’ll be for the rest of your life. Isn’t that great?
DUKE
I don’t remember agreeing to move in with you.
KATIE
Of course not. That’s why I drugged you. And now we can be together forever.
DUKE
What if I don’t want to be “together forever”?
KATIE
That’s what the ropes are for. And if you get free I’ll just have to kill you. (Barely containing her excitement.) Oh, we’re going to have so much fun! (Calming down a bit.) Now, you wait here and I’ll be right back.
(Katie exits leaving Duke alone in the room. Cut to a medium shot of Duke as he rocks back and forth trying to get out of his restraints. The chair tips over from all of his struggling and Duke falls on his side.)
DUKE
Ow.
(Cut back to a full shot of the room where we see Wilt come up to the basement window. He taps on the glass to get Dukes attention.)
WILT
(Whispering) Duke?
DUKE
Wilt! I knew you’d come crawling back.
WILT
(Annoyed) Well, goodbye forever.
DUKE
Wait! Don’t leave me, this chick is crazy!
(Wilt rolls his eyes and climbs in through the window. He hurries over to Duke and pulls out a pocket knife to cut the rope. Duke gets off the floor and starts rubbing his now freed wrists.)
WILT
Come on!
(Wilt climbs back out through the window and Duke tries to follow. About half way through the window Duke gets stuck. Cut to a medium shot of the window from outside of the house.)
DUKE
Wait! I’m stuck!
(Wilt grabs Dukes arms and tries to pull him through. He tries tugging harder and harder while Duke winces from the pain.)
WILT
(Struggling) Damn it, Duke!
DUKE
Well I’m sorry if I have too much awesome to fit through this tiny window. We can’t all be as scrawny as you.
WILT
Do you have any butter?
DUKE
(Sarcastically) Oh, sure! Let me just get the stick of butter I keep in my back pocket just for situations like this.
(Cut back to the inside of the room where we can hear Katie coming back down the stairs as Duke slowly creeps farther out of the window.)
KATIE
Oh, Duke.
(Cut back to the outside of the window where Duke and Wilt hear Katie and get scared.)
WILT
Just suck in your stomach and I’ll pull as hard as I can!
(Wilt pushes against the wall with his feet while Duke grits his teeth.)
DUKE
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
(Cut to inside the room again as Katie enters at the same time as Duke gets free. Katie looks around confused. Then cut to a full shot of Duke and Wilt running away from the house as they hear Katie scream in anger.)
INT. WILT’S HOUSE – NIGHT
(Scene opens on a shot of Wilt’s door from the inside of his living room. Duke and Wilt burst through the door and then slam it shut quickly behind them. Cut to a full shot of the room as Wilt locks the door and Duke starts pacing nervously.)
DUKE
Is she behind us?
WILT
(Looking through the peephole in his door.) I think we’re good.
DUKE
What was that chick’s problem?
WILT
Well she was clearly crazy but I don’t think it was a coincidence that she targeted you.
DUKE
What are you talking about?
WILT
Think about it. What happened right before you met Katie?
DUKE
We were at the bar having a few, I was talking about how awesome I am, and then… wait a minute. Are you still on the whole Aphrodite thing?
WILT
Yes I’m still on the whole Aphrodite thing! She is the reason Katie attacked you and I don’t think it’s going to stop anytime soon. It might not be Katie every time but someone is always going to be after you.
(As Duke and Wilt turn their backs to the window on the other side of the room Katie starts to climb in through it. As they talk she slowly makes her way in, picks up a fireman’s axe that Wilt left on his table, and walks over to Duke.)
DUKE
What makes you so sure?
WILT
I got some weird advice from someone I think we can trust.
DUKE
Well then what do we do?
WILT
While researching Aphrodite I found a few other cases like ours. So far none with a happy ending but that’s beside the point. Anyway the only person who can break a curse like this is the one who cursed you.
DUKE
That… kind of sucks.
WILT
You’ll like this part: I also found mention of a jewel called the Heart of Aphrodite. It is said that the goddess will grant one wish within her power to whoever possesses it.
DUKE
That sounds- (Turns and notices Katie about to slash him with the axe.) Oh shit!
(Katie swings the axe and Duke jumps out of the way just in time. Katie keeps walking towards Duke while he backs up into a corner.)
DUKE
Why do you have a fire axe just lying around!
WILT
I keep it for protection just in case anyone breaks in!
KATIE
I missed you Duke.
DUKE
Uh… I wanted to stay but Wilt kidnapped me. He’s the reason we can’t be happy.
(Katie turns and then ad
vances menacingly towards Wilt and backs him into the other corner of the room.)
WILT
Dude!
KATIE
You stole my love from me. I’ll steal your life from you!
(As she is about to kill Wilt Katie suddenly gets tapped on the shoulder. She turns to see Duke with his fist pulled back getting ready to punch.)
DUKE
BITCH!
(Close up on Duke’s fist as it moves in slow motion to smash into Katie’s face. When it makes impact she drops the axe and falls unconscious onto the floor. Cut back to a full shot of the room. Duke and Wilt just stare at each other awkwardly.)
DUKE
So… Where can we find this magic rock?
WILT
Um… It’s somewhere in Greece.
DUKE
Alright, then we better start packing.
WILT
What? We can’t just up and go to Greece. I have a job!
DUKE
And I just saved your life. (Opens the door.) Pick you up first thing tomorrow morning.
WILT
I-
(Duke slams the door shut. Cut to a close up of Wilt.)
WILT
(Muttering) I saved your life first. (Pause) No it’s cool. I’ll just take care of your unconscious ex-girlfriend for you. (Longer pause) Douche.
INT. DISCIPLE’S LAIR – NIGHT
(Scene opens in a dark room filled with several purple cloaked women. Jasmine is among them. Standing on a stage above all of them is the Mistress who is wearing a special cloak. Close up on the Mistress as she speaks.)
MISTRESS
Sisters! The time is finally upon us. Soon we, the Disciples of Aphrodite, shall embark on our divine quest. It is time to retrieve the Heart of Aphrodite!
(Cut to a medium shot of one of the disciples near the front of the group. She steps forward to speak.)
DISCIPLE
But Mistress, what of the cursed one? Surely he will attempt to obtain the heart as well!
(Cut to a shot of Jasmine looking nervous. Then cut back to the Mistress.)
MISTRESS
Yes, and no doubt he plans to use it for his own selfish gains. (Pulls a throwing knife out from her cloak.) If he should insist on making himself an obstacle then I will be forced to remove him from our path.
(She throws the knife and we hear it strike something. Cut to a close up of a map on the opposite side of the room with the knife dead center in the middle of Greece. Slowly zoom in on the image as the Mistress finishes her speech.)
MISTRESS
Tomorrow, we head for Greece!