The Honourable Galahad Threepwood has decided to write his memoir—a tell-all that could destroy polite society. Everyone wants this manuscript gone, particularly Lord Emsworth’s neighbor Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe, who would do anything to keep the story of the prawns buried in the past. But the memoir isn’t the only problem. A chorus girl disguised as an heiress, a double-dealing detective, a stolen prize-winning sow, and a crazy ex-secretary are only a few of the complications that must be dealt with before everyone can have their happy ending.

From the author of the #1 International Bestseller "The Book of Awesome" and the award-winning, multimillion-hit website 1000awesomethings.com comes... EVEN MORE of the little things that make us smile every day! Neil Pasricha is back with a collection of hundreds more awesome things that deserve celebration including: Coming back to your own bed after a long trip Sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater Stepping on dry crunchy leaves on the sidewalk Letting go of the gas pump perfectly so you end on a round number When a baby falls asleep on you Finally peeing after holding it forever Pulling a weed and getting all the roots with it Seeing old people holding hands When your pet notices you're in a bad mood and comes to see you When your windshield wipers match the beat of the song you're listening to The smooth feeling on your teeth after you get your braces off When the hiccups stop Driving from a rough road onto a smooth one Puppy breath When the houseguest leaves When the person you're meeting is even later than you are Getting the keys to your first apartment There's even space for you to write your very own Awesome Things in the back. Because couldn't we all use (even more) AWESOME!?

The 2nd in a series of 14 short stories by Abbie Joules as she recounts the exploits of her and her brother, Bendigo, growing up on a farm in east Texas. This story reveals the unraveling of a practical prank played on Abbie by Ben, involving their prize sow, Matilda,. Learn what happens when sourdough starter is used in an attempt to bring new pigs into the world.The 2nd in a series of 14 short stories by Abbie Joules as she recounts the exploits of her brother, Bendigo, and herself, growing up on a farm in east Texas in the late 40's and early 50's. Hard financial times prompt Ben to encourage Abbie to augment the families meager income by helping their prize sow, Matilda, to produce a litter of piglets, with the use of sourdough starter. It's really just a prank, but Abbie takes it to heart and the results are not what either of them expect. Learn what happens when two kids, looking for a laugh or a solution to a real problem, try to change Mother Nature's timetable.

From New York Times bestselling author Steven Erikson comes a new SF novel of devil-may-care, near calamitous, and downright chaotic adventures through the infinite vastness of interstellar space... The continuing adventures of the starship A.S.F. Willful Child. Its ongoing mission: to seek out strange new worlds on which to plant the Terran flag, to subjugate and if necessary obliterate new life-forms, to boldly blow the... And so we join the not-terribly-bright but exceedingly cock-sure Captain Hadrian Sawback and his motley crew on board the Starship Willful Child for a series of devil-may-care, near-calamitous and downright chaotic adventures through ‘the infinite vastness of interstellar space.' The New York Times bestselling author of the acclaimed Malazan Book of the Fallen series has taken his lifelong passion for Star Trek and transformed it into a smart, inventive, and hugely entertaining spoof on the whole mankindexploring-space-for-the-good-of-all-species-but-trashing-stuff-with-a-lot-ofhigh-tech-gadgets-along-the-way, overblown adventure. The result is an SF novel that deftly parodies the genre while also paying fond homage to it.

From the author of the New York Times bestselling Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, *comes UNHOLY NIGHT*, the next evolution in dark historical revisionism. They're an iconic part of history's most celebrated birth. But what do we really know about the Three Kings of the Nativity, besides the fact that they followed a star to Bethlehem bearing strange gifts? The Bible has little to say about this enigmatic trio. But leave it to Seth Grahame-Smith, the brilliant and twisted mind behind Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies to take a little mystery, bend a little history, and weave an epic tale. In Grahame-Smith's telling, the so-called "Three Wise Men" are infamous thieves, led by the dark, murderous Balthazar. After a daring escape from Herod's prison, they stumble upon the famous manger and its newborn king. The last thing Balthazar needs is to be slowed down by young Joseph, Mary and their infant. But when Herod's men begin to slaughter the first born in Judea, he has no choice but to help them escape to Egypt. It's the beginning of an adventure that will see them fight the last magical creatures of the Old Testament; cross paths with biblical figures like Pontius Pilate and John the Baptist; and finally deliver them to Egypt. It may just be the greatest story never told.

NERDS combines all the excitement of international espionage with all the awkwardness of elementary school, and the results are hilarious. A group of unpopular fifth graders run a spy network from inside their school. With the help of cutting-edge science, they transform their nerdy qualities into incredible abilities! Their enemies? An array of James Bond–style villains, each with an evil plan more diabolical and more ridiculous than the last. Publishers Weekly raved: “Buckley has a flair for exaggerated humor.” School Library Journal said: “Funny, clever, and thoroughly entertaining.” Praise for NERDS: M is for Mama's Boy "Fans of the first novel will find even more laughs here." –Booklist  "Peppered with lessons on cracking codes, ciphers and invisible ink, the second adventure in Buckley’s silly spy-kids spoof is as frenetically goofy as the first….a terrific package for reluctant readers or book lovers out for thrills, gadgets and larfs." –Kirkus Reviews

"The Water Goats and Other Troubles" from Ellis Parker Butler. American author (1869-1937).

A mildly satirical sex comedy, mostly humorous, occasionally painful, The Doorman looks at the desires we don't know we have and how they make themselves known.Oscar Freeland has it all: a low-wage job taking tickets at a small rundown theatre and the highly prestigious position of president of Barkie's Buddies, an Incredulous Journey fan club which he himself founded. That the only other members are children whose attendance he purchases with ice cream does not discourage him. On the contrary, as Head Doorman at the Palace, he considers it his duty to educate the young about Barkie and the Journey.Sadly, however, it is not to last. Somehow or another, in the go-go 80's, dilapidated single-screen theatres have lost their charm and Mr. Johnstone is forced to sell to Ziniplex, a large theatre chain, whose representative, the lovely Camila, stubbornly insists they show up on time, wear a uniform and not drink on the job - none of which Oscar has a problem with but several of his less diligent co-workers do. And so he is torn between his loyalty to the Palace and the affection of his friends. Which will he choose?And what about Myrtle, Pete's mom? Is she really his friend or just another Jezebel out to rob him of his virginity? What would Pastor Wilcox say?A mildly satirical sex comedy, mostly humorous, occasionally painful, The Doorman looks at the desires we don't know we have and how they make themselves known.

Growing up in Brentford is never easy, especially when you have a needy younger brother and a daddy who is the fount of all knowledge. But the life of one Brentford schoolboy is turned upside down when he is sent on a mission by a Venusian he finds in his Daddy's allotment shed, and with Barry the Time Sprout lodged in his head to act as his guardian angel, the sky really is the limit. For the boy has to pose as the famous detective Lazlo Woodbine, and his travels will take him to an alternative future, where a vast pleasure palace space liner orbits the Earth, and where one Count Ilya Rostof is planning a celebration of Queen Victoria's ninetieth year on the throne. He will travel to the fabled Garden on Venus, and even to Heaven to meet with God - a rather nice man named Terrance. But even as these events are taking place, what of the nefarious schemes of Lord Willoughby Chase, of Professor Mandelbrot and the silly boys and their plans to fly a spacecraft into the Sun, and what of the etherial Poppett and the fabled vegetable lamb of Tartary? Never mind Lady Raygun and a group of fanatical space pirates ... A work of surreal brilliance from the mind of Robert Rankin, combining ecumenical ponderings with breathless space opera, and jaw dropping imagination.

This book was originally published prior to 1923, and represents a reproduction of an important historical work, maintaining the same format as the original work. While some publishers have opted to apply OCR (optical character recognition) technology to the process, we believe this leads to sub-optimal results (frequent typographical errors, strange characters and confusing formatting) and does not adequately preserve the historical character of the original artifact. We believe this work is culturally important in its original archival form. While we strive to adequately clean and digitally enhance the original work, there are occasionally instances where imperfections such as blurred or missing pages, poor pictures or errant marks may have been introduced due to either the quality of the original work or the scanning process itself. Despite these occasional imperfections, we have brought it back into print as part of our ongoing global book preservation commitment, providing customers with access to the best possible historical reprints. We appreciate your understanding of these occasional imperfections, and sincerely hope you enjoy seeing the book in a format as close as possible to that intended by the original publisher.

Excerpt from Perkins of Portland: Perkins the GreatBut he's done. It's all off with Willie. Now Willie is going to make money for himself. Mr. Perkins of Portland is going to get rich. Are you with him?About the PublisherForgotten Books publishes hundreds of thousands of rare and classic books. Find more at www.forgottenbooks.comThis book is a reproduction of an important historical work. Forgotten Books uses state-of-the-art technology to digitally reconstruct the work, preserving the original format whilst repairing imperfections present in the aged copy. In rare cases, an imperfection in the original, such as a blemish or missing page, may be replicated in our edition. We do, however, repair the vast majority of imperfections successfully; any imperfections that remain are intentionally left to preserve the state of such historical works.

Here we go again into a brand new Year, and only Wonka to help Owner press on. What with Life Planners and Financial sections, surely she can make it all happen? There is the usual casting back to the ancients, those Greeks and then we come across Wonka's favourite Edward De Bono. Plan as if you have the money! But will Owner listen? And what about Baba too......read on and find outThis is the seventh Wonka story, and the third Conversations with - once more Wonka is busy advising, often from under the duvet while Owner slaves away at Life Plans and CVs and such like. She is on the verge of achieving and surely this New Year will ring in the changes! The Philosophers as usual range from the sunny disposition of the Greeks to the harder thrust of Mr Edward De Bono, a particular favourite of Wonka's. Decisions to be made, GPs to sort out and even talk of holidays. Is Owner ready for the wicked world of work? And what about Baba? Do read this account and see if you can keep up with Wonka!

Keeping Up Appearances - Sailor's Knots, Part 12. is presented here in a high quality paperback edition. This popular classic work by W. W. (William Wymark) Jacobs is in the English language, and may not include graphics or images from the original edition. If you enjoy the works of W. W. (William Wymark) Jacobs then we highly recommend this publication for your book collection.

Mythical mayhem transpires in a Virginia tourist town when a beer brewed with the Water of Life hits the streets.It's not so bad getting yourself blown up eight times a day for the slack-jawed tourists, at least to Jack Whiskey's thinking. He's lived in Eden, Virginia, his whole life, and colonial reenactment is all he knows. Being the town "alchemist" is what he does. Well, that and drink beer at the Olde Eden Taphouse...But Jack's dreamy life is upended when he discovers that fictional characters and beings straight out of world mythology roam the streets of Eden. Plus, there's a gang of American Indian Tricksters running around distributing a beer brewed with the Water of Life to every bar and corner store within city limits. The gods are never happy when people start attaining Eternal Life like it's every nobody's business (it always ends badly, usually for the people). Soon enough, the Cosmic Dancer will take notice and two-step existence right on out of existence to pave the way for a new, er, existence.But the residents of Eden aren't going down without a brawl. And with the (oftentimes questionable) help of mind-wielding Buddhist monks, mythological beings, and characters straight out of the classics, Jack embarks on a romp across mythical worlds—and must descend to the ancient Greek Underworld—to prevent the stomping out of the universe.And along the way discovers that he may have more in common with those Tricksters than he ever imagined possible.

Robert Smith Surtees (17 May 1805 – 16 March 1864) was an English editor, novelist and sporting writer, widely known as R. S. Surtees. He was the second son of Anthony Surtees of Hamsterley Hall, a member of an old County Durham family.e left for London in 1825, intending to practise law in the capital, but had difficulty making his way and began contributing to the Sporting Magazine. He launched out on his own with the New Sporting Magazine in 1831, contributing the comic papers which appeared as Jorrocks' Jaunts and Jollities in 1838. Jorrocks, the sporting cockney grocer, with his vulgarity and good-natured artfulness, was a great success with the public, and Surtees produced more Jorrocks novels in the same vein, notably Handley Cross and Hillingdon Hall, where the description of the house is very reminiscent of Hamsterley. Another hero, Soapey Sponge, appears in Mr Sponge's Sporting Tour, possibly Surtees best work. All Surtees' novels were composed at Hamsterley Hall, where he wrote standing up at a desk, like Victor Hugo. In 1835, Surtees abandoned his legal practice and after inheriting Hamsterley Hall in 1838, devoted himself to hunting and shooting, meanwhile writing anonymously for his own pleasure. He was a friend and admirer of the great hunting man Ralph Lambton, who had his headquarters at Sedgefield County Durham, the 'Melton of the North'. Surtees became Lord High Sheriff of Durham in 1856. He died in Brighton in 1864, and was buried in Ebchester church.