The Villain Virus

      Michael Buckley
     The Villain Virus

The NERDS series combines the excitement of international espionage with the awkwardness of elementary school as it follows the adventures of a group of unpopular fifth graders who run a spy network from inside their school. With the help of cutting-edge science, they transform their nerdy qualities into incredible abilities, and the results are awesome, inspiring—and hilarious. A virus has infected Arlington, Virginia, home of NERDS headquarters, and it’s much worse than your run-of-the-mill flu. Instead of coughing and sneezing, the victims of this voracious virus are transformed into superintelligent criminal masterminds. Soon nearly everyone—including some of the NERDS team—is plotting to take over the world. And who’s to blame for this nasty infection? None other than former NERDS teammate Heathcliff Hodges. With more people breaking out into evil cackles every day, it’s up to Flinch, the hyperactive superspy with a sweet tooth, to stop the virus. He needs to destroy the virus at its source, and to do that he’s going to have to get inside Heathcliff’s head—literally. Flinch will have to miniaturize himself and take a fantastic voyage through the supervillain’s body to fight white blood cells, stomach acid, and a nest of nasty nanobytes in the hope that he can save the world from . . . the Villain Virus.

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    Tales of St. Austin's

      P. G. Wodehouse
     Tales of St. Austin's

Tales of St. Austin's is a collection of short stories and essays, all with a school theme, by P. G. Wodehouse. The stories are set in the fictional public school of St. Austin's, which was also the setting for The Pothunters (1902); they revolve around cricket, rugby, petty gambling and other boyish escapades.

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    Snuff Fiction

      Robert Rankin
     Snuff Fiction

Society's plug is about to be pulled, big time. At the stroke of midnight on 31 December 1999, computer systems all over the world will crash and plunge us into chaos. But so what if it's the downfall of civilization? These things happen. We'll just have to take it on the chin. Or at least up the nose. Because rejoice and give thanks, snuff is making a comeback. And who do we thank for this? Who is the man who brings joy to the nostrils of the nation? The tender blender with the blinder grinder? The master blaster with the louder powder? The geezer with the sneezer that's a real crowd pleaser? Mr Doveston, that's who, and this is his story. So forget about impending doom and enter the glamorous world of snuff-snorting. Oh, and don't forget to bring a hanky. Things could get a little messy later. Robert Rankin's latest novel gleefully chronicles the collapse of civilisation, as the world slides into chaos with a smile on its face and a finger up its nose. Prophetic vision of an imminent dystopia? Or just the rabid ranting of a snuff-crazed technophobe?

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    Funny Little Socks

      Sarah L. Barrow
     Funny Little Socks

Funny Little Socks - Being the Fourth Book is presented here in a high quality paperback edition. This popular classic work by Sarah L. Barrow is in the English language, and may not include graphics or images from the original edition. If you enjoy the works of Sarah L. Barrow then we highly recommend this publication for your book collection.

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    Easy Money

      W. W. Jacobs
     Easy Money

Easy Money - Night Watches, Part 9. is presented here in a high quality paperback edition. This popular classic work by W. W. (William Wymark) Jacobs is in the English language, and may not include graphics or images from the original edition. If you enjoy the works of W. W. (William Wymark) Jacobs then we highly recommend this publication for your book collection.

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    The Funny Thing Is...

      Ellen DeGeneres
     The Funny Thing Is...

An indispensable reference for anyone who knows how to read—or wants to fool people into thinking they do—The Funny Thing Is... is sure to make you laugh. Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...And I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book. After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a work that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is... contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche and offers innovative features including: -More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs. -Thousands of observations on everyday life -- from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem. -All twenty-six letters of the alphabet.

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    Roc and a Hard Place

      Piers Anthony
     Roc and a Hard Place

Seeking a solution to a perplexing personal problem, the delectable Demoness Metria asks for help from the wise Magician Humfrey. But before he will help her, she must perform a perilous mission: Rove the length and breadth of Xanth in search of a suitable jury for the trial of Roxanne Roc--a notably noble and virtuous bird charged with a most improbable offense. Exciting, exhilarating, and brimming with hilarious hijinks, Roc and a Hard Place is Xanth at its most enchanting.

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    Captains All and Others

      W. W. Jacobs
     Captains All and Others

Every sailorman grumbles about the sea, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully. It's human nature to grumble, and I s'pose they keep on grumbling and sticking to it because there ain't much else they can do. There's not many shore-going berths that a sailorman is fit for, and those that they are—such as a night-watchman's, for instance—wants such a good character that there's few as are to equal it. Sometimes they get things to do ashore. I knew one man that took up butchering, and 'e did very well at it till the police took him up.

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    The Old Man's Bag

      W. W. Jacobs
     The Old Man's Bag

CHAPTER I. The old man lived in a wood. He had a wife and a bag. The bag was quite a large bag. One day the old man went out for a walk. He took the bag with him. By and by he saw a hen in a field. Now when you see a hen in a field you say "Chuck, chuck!" The old man said "Chuck, chuck!" And the hen came to him. So that he caught her by the neck and put her in his bag. She made a great to-do, but he put her in. The old man said "Chuck, chuck!" and the hen came to him. On his way home, just as he turned a corner, the old man saw a policeman. The policeman had a red suit. He was one of those policemen who wear red suits because they are tired of wearing blue. The red policeman looked very hard at the old man and very hard at his bag. In fact he looked so very very hard that the old man got frightened and turned round and ran away. Of course the red policeman ran after him. When they had run about five miles the old man dropped his bag in order that he might run quicker. The red policeman had made up his mind to catch him; so that he did not stop to pick up the bag but kept on running after the old man. At length when they had run about ten miles he caught him. The red policeman ran after him. "Now, sir," said the red policeman, "what have you got in that bag?" "Nothing," said the old man. "Oh, you wicked old person," said the red policeman. "You know perfectly well that you have a hen in it. But you must come back with me, and we will soon find out." So the red policeman took the old man back to the place where he had dropped the bag. The bag was there, and the red policeman picked it up and opened it with great care. But the hen had got away. There was a big hole in the corner of the bag, and through this the hen had squeezed herself and run home as fast as ever she could. When the policeman found that the bag was empty he looked much puzzled. The old man for his part smiled a great deal. "I told you there was nothing in it," he said. The red policeman said, "Well, I expect I shall have to let you go this time. But mind you don't do it again." And the old man went home quite cheerfully with his bag under his arm. CHAPTER II. When the old man got home to his house in the wood he hung the bag up tidily on a nail. Then he sat down in a chair and began to laugh. He laughed for nearly a quarter of an hour by the clock. At length his wife came in to him from the garden and said, "Whatever are you laughing at?" "Whatever are you laughing at?" "Oh," replied the old man, holding his sides, "I am so amused!" Then he went on laughing. He laughed so much indeed that the tears came into his eyes and he nearly choked. His wife had to pat his back and give him a drink of water to put him right. Then he told her what had happened. How he had put a hen in his bag, how the red policeman had run after him, how he dropped the bag and let the policeman catch him, and how when the policeman took him back to the bag, the hen was gone. "Did she open the bag and fly away?" said the old woman....

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    The Curious Affair of Scuppers Bilgewater and the Lesser Speckled Dunk Island Scrub Hen

      Lindsay Johannsen
     The Curious Affair of Scuppers Bilgewater and the Lesser Speckled Dunk Island Scrub Hen

In my earlier days I was quite the foolhardy young rake and had a great many outrageously wild and exciting adventures. This is not one of them.A rookie crew of alien invaders search for a fallen spaceship on earth, but upon arrival discover that the time period they prepared themselves for has passed and they now must interact with modern day earthlings with the knowledge of humans in the 50’s era.

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    Torchy As A Pa

      Sewell Ford
     Torchy As A Pa

Sewell Ford was a 20th century American author who wrote a number of books that are still read across the world today.Sewell Ford was a 20th century American author who wrote a number of books that are still read across the world today.Sewell Ford was a 20th century American author who wrote a number of books that are still read across the world today.

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    The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

      Brian Katcher
     The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak

The Improbable Theory of Ana and Zak is Stonewall Book Award-winning author Brian Katcher’s hilarious he said/she said romance about two teens recovering from heartbreak and discovering themselves on an out-of-this-world accidental first date. It all begins when Ana Watson's little brother, Clayton, secretly ditches the quiz bowl semifinals to go to the Washingcon sci-fi convention on what should have been a normal, résumé-building school trip. If slacker Zak Duquette hadn't talked up the geek fan fest so much, maybe Clayton wouldn't have broken nearly every school rule or jeopardized Ana’s last shot at freedom from her uptight parents. Now, teaming up with Duquette is the only way for Ana to chase down Clayton in the sea of orcs, zombies, bikini-clad princesses, Trekkies, and Smurfs. After all, one does not simply walk into Washingcon. But in spite of Zak's devil-may-care attitude, he has his own reasons for being as lost as Ana-and Ana may have more in common with him than she thinks. Ana and Zak certainly don’t expect the long crazy night, which begins as a nerdfighter manhunt, to transform into so much more…

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