Free online fiction. Novelette. This is the story of the time that Granny Weatherwax didn't win the Witch Trials and was nice about it, too. It was horrifying. "It's not right! She's got no right to go around being cheerful at people!" Originally published in the collection Legends Vol. 3.

This imaginative companion to the New York Times bestselling Secret Series teases, prompts, and leads readers through the steps of writing a story. Bosch's signature rip-roaring voice delivers an engaging narrative (for the reader to help complete!) and interactive puzzles and games. Readers get the chance to create their own story while enjoying a satisfying mystery as well. Here's a note from our fearless "author": I feared this might happen. I knew reading was a dangerous business, but now it's not safe for writers either! You see, the author of this book is missing. Well, maybe not "missing." A certain author whom I won't name (okay, me) has abandoned his book and has left his readers hanging out to dry. This is a crime, I admit, but there it is. Most of this book, well, I just haven't written it. And I'm not going to, either. Why? Oh, I have my reasons. Big. Grown up. Author. Reasons. Unfortunately, I can't reveal them yet. Let's just say a life is at stake (mine) and leave it at that. So will you do it? Pretty please? You'll do it? Thank you! But please hurry! Time is of the essence and you can't wait any longer. You must WRITE THIS BOOK!

With two years experience behind him, James Herriot still feels privileged working on the beautiful Yorkshire moors as assistant vet at the Darrowby practice. Time to meet yet more unwilling patients and a rich cast of supporting owners. Full of hilarious tales of his unpredictable boss Siegfreid Farnon, his charming student brother Tristan, the joys of spring lambing, a vicious cat called Boris and James' jinxed courtship of the lovely Helen, this third volume of memoirs is sure to delight hardened fans and new readers of James Herriot titles alike. 'He can tell a good story against himself, and his pleasure in the beauty of the countryside in which he works is infectious' "Daily Telegraph" 'Full of warmth, wisdom and wit' "The Field" 'It is a pleasure to be in James Herriot's company' "Observer "

Pop culture, chaos theory and matters of the heart collide in this unique novella from the Hugo and Nebula winning author of Doomsday Book.Sandra Foster studies fads and their meanings for the HiTek corporation. Bennet O'Reilly works with monkey group behavior and chaos theory for the same company. When the two are thrust together due to a misdelivered package and a run of seemingly bad luck, they find a joint project in a flock of sheep. But a series of setbacks and disappointments arise before they are able to find answers to their questions.

Dr. Peter S. Murphy needs fifteen thousand dollars by the end of the day, or the city of Los Angeles can say goodbye to the El Healtho clinic. A recovery center for the most severe cases of alcoholism in the state--even if no one ever does quite seem to get dry there--El Healtho has been the bane of Dr. Murphy's existence ever since he started running it. But now that its doors are about to close forever, Dr. Murphy finds he'll do anything to keep it open. Up to and including admitting Humphrey Van Twyne III, a patient with an extremely violent past whose wealthy family has the means to keep El Healtho open for business. Sure, the man isn't exactly an alcoholic. And yes, what he really needs is to be under the care of the surgeons who performed the lobotomy that's rendered Van Twyne all but a vegetable. But the money's good--until the rag-tag group of ne'er-do-wells at El Healtho begin to wreak havoc with Dr. Murphy's plans, and suddenly no one day has ever seemed so long. A literary precursor to One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, THE ALCOHOLICS is Thompson like you've never read him before, a pitch-black, mad-cap portrait of deviant behavior that is at once darkly comic, humane and harrowing.

These three plays tackle major themes such as race relations, American family life, and the essence of theater itself -- each of which still continue to resonate. Representing the bold and exciting periods in the then young career of widely consideredAmerica's most popular and imaginative playwrights, this edition is a must-have for theater lovers.

NOT SUCH A LONG TIME AGO, IN A MIDDLE SCHOOL NOT SO FAR, FAR AWAY... Something amazing happened. A weird kid named Dwight made an origami finger puppet of Yoda. (That wasn't the amazing thing--just typical Dwight weirdness.) the amazing thing was that Origami Yoda gave great advice. He could predict the date of a pop quiz, tell a guy if a girl likes him or not, and keep kids from embarrassing themselves in a dozen different ways. Most of the sixth graders were convinced he was using the Force. But now, a year later, it's a dark time at McQuarrie Middle School. Dwight has been suspended and may be expelled, which means no more Origami Yoda. Even worse, Darth Paper, a puppet created by Dwight's nemesis, Harvey, has taken Yoda's place. He spews insults and evil and just may be responsible for getting Dwight kicked out in the first place. Now the kids of McQuarrie are trying to build a case to save Dwight. This is their case file.

Landover was a genuine magic kingdom, complete with fairy folk and wizardry, just as the advertisement had promised. But after he purchased it for a million dollars, Ben Holiday discovered that there were a few details the ad had failed to mention. Such as the fact that the kingdom was falling into ruin. The barons refused to recognize a king and taxes hadn't been collected for years. The dragon, Strabo, was laying waste to the countryside, while the evil witch, Nightshade, was plotting to destroy no less than everything. And if that weren't enough for a prospective king to deal with, Ben soon learned that the Iron Mark, terrible lord of the demons, challenged all pretenders to the throne of Landover to a duel to the death - a duel no mere mortal could hope to win. But Ben Holiday had one human trait that even magic couldn't overcome. Ben Holiday was stubborn.

Promposals are taking over Deacon Locke’s high school and there is no place left to hide. But even with graduation looming, shy and unusually tall Deacon doesn’t think he can get up the nerve to ask anyone to the dance. Especially given all the theatrics. It isn’t until Deacon confides in his witty and outgoing best friend Jean that he realizes she could be a great person to take. Only problem is Jean isn’t your typical prom date. She’s older. A lot older. And she’s Deacon’s grandmother. But when Deacon meets Soraya—a girl unlike any other he’s ever met—he fears he has totally squandered his chances of having a prom he’ll never forget. Deacon couldn’t be more wrong. About everything.

'Tom Sharpe is in top form- outrageously funny- Left-wing academics, right-wing capitalists, true-blue country gentry, workers, peasants, police and lawyers - all take custard pies full in the face in this boisterous knockabout farce' The Listener 'A novelist who has broken out of the pack, established a wholly distinctive style- such a keen eye for the ridiculous and marvellous ability to puncture it' Scotsman 'An immense gift for social satire- the action is unflagging' Daily Telegraph 'There's almost no one funnier' Observer

If you ever find yourself going out with a Victorian lady and you feel the need to impress her with your romantic skills, I would suggest taking her night clubbing in Hartlepool, camping in Cornwall or touring in the remote parts of France should be immediately crossed off your list.Three short and almost "true" stories from the Time Travel Diaries of James Urquhart and Elizabeth Bicester.Have you ever read a book and thought, "gee I'd really like to know more about all those background characters!" Well we here at Team Pop Culture thought of that; because we're awesome, and we've got you covered. Behold, the Everything Sucks series! All of these short stories are stand-alones, and will make sense even if you haven't read the novel "Pop Culture Sucks, Manifesto of a Vampire" (*cough* it's a great book though *cough*)The series will either introduce you to, or expand on, various characters from the Pop Culture Universe. You'll get peeks at things like: Iris's time in the Underground Gary's life in the late 1940's Stitch, the Speakeasy barkeep And many all new charactersSo whether you're familiar with these guys or not, this is a series you should check out!

A crew of super villain henchmen concoct a scheme to finally see success. But can they actually do it?A comedy about the silliness of superheroes and super villains.From the author of Void Star and This Road Darkens…Superheroes and super villains always get the spotlight. Even sidekicks get their moments. But what about the faceless men and women who work behind the scenes? It’s not easy being a henchmen. You have to build hidden bases inside volcanoes that can withstand the unbearable heat and survive the process. You have to help construct and design rockets capable of destroying the world ten times over. And each time, some stupid superhero shows up and ruins all your hard work and then it’s back to the drawing board and once again you must accomplish another impossible feat.Grundel is tired of the monotony and wants his son to finally see him as a winner. Follow him as he gathers a crew to accomplish the unattainable: victory at long last.

Laura Sibbie is trying to find the perfect 'pigs' for her new club, Pig City: classmates who can keep the biggest secret ever! To make sure that none of them tells anyone else about the club, each one must give an 'insurance' - something totally embarrassing - to be hidden unless they break the most important law of Pig City.

In the third book of her hot and hilarious series, "New York Times" bestselling author Sandra Hill takes readers along on another wild ride with Jinx, Inc., where trouble is no match for a cagey Cajun matchmaker--and passion conquers all. When reporter Celine Arseneaux entered The Playpen, a Baton Rouge club for men AND women, she never expected John LeDeux to swagger up to her. Sure, the bayou's notorious bad boy was pure sex on the hoof. But even with her expose on the line, Celine will refuse to be his conquest left cryin' in her crayfish -- at least not again. Not for this man who doesn't even remember her! Detective LeDeux had always been too hot to handle, but now he was on fire as the cop posing as a gigolo to bust the Dixie Mafia. Joining Tante Lulu's treasure hunt seems a fine way to avoid the media ruckus--until Celine pursues her story deep into the bayou, stoking John's hazy memories of a sizzling night five years ago.... Original.

New York Times bestselling author of *Zombie Lover* A wild and wonderful new magical adventure that leads from Xanth to Earth - and back again! A cataclysmic cloud hangs over the enchanted land of land of Xanth. Three courageous couples must venture into the O-Xone, a cybernetic interface between Xanth and our own world, to rescue the enchanted realm from destruction. A xany new fantasy xaga from the Master of Merriment, Xone of Contention is chock-filled with danger, excitement and xillions of laughs! After a year filled with harrowing adventures, all Breanna of the Black Wave and her newfound love Justin Tree want is a little time to get to know each other better, and explore the wonders of the enchanted land of Xanth. But their incipient idyll is soon shattered by a stunning discovery. A climatic catastrophe is causing a massive meltdown that threatens to inundate the ancient forests of Xanth. The only way to avert this dire disaster is to undertake a voyage into the distant mists of the past, to find the moment when this ghastly greenhouse effect began. And the only people who can safely make that journey are those unaffected by Xanth's magic - normal, ordinary humans from our own world. So Breanna and Justin turn for help to the Demon X(A/N)th (a.k.a. Nimby) and his lovely consort Chlorine. Together, they devise a daring plan. Making use of the O-Xone, a magical computer network that links the worlds of Xanth and Earth, Nimby and Chlorine make contact with Pia and Edsel, a young couple from Earth who are working on a Xanth game, and arrange to exchange bodies with them. But an unexpected surprise awaits them on their arrival. The Demon Earth has challenged the Demon Xanth to a deadly duel for the highest possible stakes - dominion over both worlds. While Pia and Edsel range through the farthest reaches of time and space to save Xanth from destruction, Nimby must learn to live by the strange rules of our world, and defeat his ancient enemy without the benefit of his own awesome powers. Brimming with magic, merriment, laughter and love, Xone of Contention is a rousing new fantasy saga in the grand Xanth tradition.