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    With A Heart Like That

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      Talk Show

      Dante was afraid of the dark.

      In our time, it’s too much light

      that seems frightening.

      Sin scintillates: no shadows

      and no shame in our game.

      Unrepentant, we confess

      fifteen minutes on a talk show.

      What would Dante think?

      Would the poet who faced Hell

      turn his back on us,

      disgusted by

      our shrill, whiny candor?

      Daibutsu of Todaiji

      You will have no rival

      in stone. Next to you, the Sphinx

      is a soft, shabby has-been.

      Who is Ozymandias?

      Those masks blasted from the cliffs

      of Mt. Rushmore, mere photo-ops,

      have nothing to tell us.

      No comment. They stare

      over our heads, preoccupied,

      looking for something they lost

      in the tall grass of the prairies

      a hundred years ago.

      But you’ve found everything

      ever lost, hid it all again

      under the Bo tree,

      and let us go on looking

      while you sit there, Buddha,

      innocently still, and so huge

      not even the Christ of Corcovado

      could get his arms around you.

      Blind, now that the paint

      has flaked from your eyes,

      you lift one hand: to bless us

      or to feel your way?

     

      Wolves

      A few wolves on the street

      watch us. Only a sneer

      shows us their fangs,

      stained and prematurely blunt.

      We’re not even worth a growl.

      Obsessed with any grass

      more or less green,

      we bleat and rush by--

      and never discern

      through our dim, ruminant haze,

      the sheep in wolves’ clothing

      waiting for a Shepherd.

     

      Memo to Villon

      Illicit brother, black sheep

      fetid with Paris muck,

      scarecrow stuffed with dungeon straw,

      tonsured knife fighter,

      lovesick poet with a slit lip,

      scarred like Al Capone,

      sweet-talking con, whoremonger

      and true believer,

      did wine kill you? Or VD?

      Did you finally hang

      at Montfaucon, Orleans, or Meung,

      nothing but spoiled meat

      sticking to a rickety ladder of bones?

      And did you climb,

      by faith, saved by grace alone,

      from the gibbet to heaven?

      I sit fidgeting in church,

      ashamed to be bored by such niceness

      (but bored--and ashamed)

      and think of you.

      If you sidled in this morning,

      any streetwise usher

      worth his blazer and name badge

      would keep an eye on you.

      That smirk you could never wipe off

      would give you away--

      and how you would heft the basket

      guessing the take within a few cents.

      But here no one values your offering

      of a poem jotted down

      on the back of a pawn ticket

      and given freely--like the widow’s mite.

      Francois Villon

      (c. 1431-1463)

      Chinook

      Everything is loosening,

      finally. The snarls

      in my shoelaces and in my life

      will all come untangled

      if I just do nothing.

      I must learn to sag and slump,

      permit the taut muscles in my neck

      to go slack. Lord,

      I’ve been like this far too long:

      a crazed Chinook struggling

      upstream in the wrong river.

      I’m ready to give up.

      All the way down to the sea,

      unsinkable, I’ll ride

      Your peace through the white water,

      thoughtless as a stick.

      And I promise not to complain

      about losing my grip.

      Sometimes letting go

      is the only way to hold on.

      Soon

      I keep looking up, expecting

      the north star to flicker

      and go out. Soon

      the litmus moon will turn red.

      Do roots suffer from wanderlust?

      Even boulders among the hills

      seem poised to leap.

      How high? How far?

      And how soon?

      I fidget through the days,

      feeling for the first time

      an unsuspected migratory instinct.

      Song

      They sing me; I jingle.

      I’ve become their brimstone ditty,

      top ten, throbbing on

      every boom box in Hell.

      They hiss; they puff their cheeks:

      it’s not a night breeze

      clacking the blinds.

      They whistle me while they work.

      But I’m still silent, tongue-tied--

      a shrug in a wrinkled shirt

      and not a man.

      O Lord, give me back my voice!

      Let me torture them with psalms

      until they howl

      and run scared to their pit

      and stuff their ears with ashes.

      Come tune my harp again

      to its own oddball, unheard-of key.

      You’re my strength and my song.

      I will sing You!

      Dog Day

      Bailey Blue, good morning--

      so far. The sun has not risen

      for either of us

      and the moon has nowhere else to go.

      Sit with me, stranger,

      grand-dog left here for now

      (and maybe later)

      by a daughter with a stray heart.

      Lift your mellow, unknowing eyes

      and unload on me

      all your loneliness and impatience;

      let me scratch you where I itch.

      This back yard is enough,

      California-diverse

      with dry evergreens around the pool,

      apples rotting beneath palm trees,

      and you: purebred Dalmatian

      named for Irish liqueur and a mutt

      your mistress can’t remember

      except for her loss.

      I’m a mutt myself, not much

      of a dad or grandfather;

      but I’ll take you in for now,

      comfort you, and let you be

      all the black and white

      should-have-beens I’ve shredded

      pasted back together

      to make something like love.

      Hyakutake, Mandelstam, God

      Your salt is still seasoning the night,

      spilled while I sleep,

      dreamless,

      and let the slow comet dream for me

      of distances only words can cross.

      Osip, your words reach me

      across much greater distances

      than the flight

      of that dirty snowball

      tossed by God

      in a playful moment

      millions of years ago.

      You no longer walk the tundra

      with your broken heart

      in a beggar’s tin cup.

      You’re free, finally alive

      somewhere out there

      beyond Hyakutake, somewhere far,

      far beyond the Gulag Hell,

      somewhere close to God.

      Osip Mandelstam

      (1891-1938)

      Joy

      Joy won’t pass through gritted teeth

      in which bitterness

      sticks like something green.

    &
    nbsp; Joy is more finicky than that--

      and more staid. It doesn’t need

      a wisecrack to break the ice

      and won’t share the podium

      with a whining tongue.

      Delicate joy that curdles

      in an anxious stomach

      willingly hugs riffraff

      and picks lice from their hair.

      Who can understand it?

      We know how happiness makes us

      look over our shoulder

      like fugitives from a bad mood,

      but joy seems unconcerned.

      Self-sufficient. You could say aloof.

      All we know for certain

      is that joy won’t be coerced.

      Make a fist and it vanishes

      with the flick of a fin.

      You must relax,

      let your fingers sway like sea grass,

      before joy will come

      swimming into your heart

      and add iridescent color

      to that reef of black coral.

      The Child Within

      Someone tell the shrink!

      Quick! The child within,

      bitter and half-crazy,

      has run off to sea.

      And worse, he’ll come back,

      loitering under the street lamps

      of my small town soul

      with his smirk, his angst,

      and a droll Singapore tattoo

      glowing like a votive lamp

      beneath my skin:

      Been There, Done That.

      Sure I’ll envy him, but keep

      my job and my church.

      His faint taste of salt

      is all the wildness I want.

      Before Dawn

      Anxiety like a dry stick

      snapped by a prowler

      outside the window wakes me

      again. Four-thirty.

      If this is the hour the thief comes,

      let him come. I have

      a flashlight, my Bible, fresh coffee,

      a chair on the patio,

      and two hours before sunrise

      to be sit and hum God’s praises

      under the morning moon.

      What else could I ask for?

      Butterflies

      I’ve prayed too long, Lord,

      and so wrong, for joy--

      ecstatic tons like a megalith.

      Overwhelming. Almost an idol.

      I expected to laugh and fall

      drunk in the Spirit. Instead,

      something small has come,

      weightless, like butterflies

      that drift with the wind

      from their own far country

      and all settle at once

      on just one tree. Me.

      When

      When everything breaks free

      at last--seed from the pod,

      sorrow from the dry cloud,

      and black water from the sun--

      trees will take hold of the wind

      and shake it until its teeth rattle

      and the birds fall out of its hair.

      I want to see that!

      And I want to see the dead rise--

      not to come back to this life,

      rummaging through coffins

      for keepsakes buried with them,

      but to dance hand in hand

      with their own discarded,

      arthritic bones, their cheeks

      flushed with luminous blood!

      Sheep

      If I’m your sheep, Lord,

      why do knives glinting in a dark look

      or words whetted on a grin

      make mutton of me?

      I know that You carried me once,

      hefted on a shoulder,

      a long, long way

      home from all my wanderings.

      But now, safe in the fold,

      I stand off to be one side and bleat--

      an odd sheep out

      and more briar than wool.

      And yet, somehow, I hear Your voice

      and know it from the wind,

      from the lies of the hireling,

      and the wolf whisper at night.

      Somehow. And if I never

      fit in with the flock--

      always a Suffolk like a minstrel

      among proper Merinos--

      I’ll lift my head when You call,

      stop chewing on words,

      and like every other sheep,

      I’ll follow.

      Coffee

      How odd that crockery outlasts us.

      Every cup, broken

      and tossed on a landfill,

      is still there when bones are dust.

      Sometimes I feel like a mug,

      a cheap gift at best,

      bearing my common name,

      a cartoon, a joke, an ad.

      Not much, if not for this:

      break me and I’ll be more

      than skeletal shards.

      I’ll rise from myself to the Lord

      with an aroma so rich

      that even Death

      will have to wake up

      and smell the coffee!

      In the Yard With Ralph

      My wife tosses a ball for Ralph,

      her aged, arthritic Irish setter,

      who limps to fetch,

      who won’t be caught and dodges her,

      or so he thinks,

      with his nose down and rump up,

      flagging his crooked tail,

      slammed in a car door years ago,

      and scattering confetti snorts,

      more excited than a pup.

      Next Sunday, Lord, I want to sing

      the old hymns with a heart like that!

     

     

     


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