I thought of her
In the dark folds of night
Between the pages of the sun’s set and rise
I thought of her in the midnight hours
With my fist around my flesh
Until I spilled like moonlight across my chest
The last time I prayed
It was at the altar of her sex
I dipped my finger in the holy waters
Anointed my tongue and baptized my lips
Until I was pure and made whole
By the religion of our love
She was small
But her heart was so large
I could see it behind her eyes
She made me feel ten feet tall and
Strong enough to move the world
How such a little thing could have powers
So immense
I’ll never know
Mostly because
She will never tell
The secret power of the woman behind the man.
He folded my legs back
Like two halves of a book open for him to read
Not to read
To venerate
To dedicate to memory so that
He could recite the taste of me
The smell of me
Anytime he wanted
They say you need an act of God to find a miracle
I found mine pressed between her lips
When she smiled
In whatever planes of existence there are
On any star or parallel planet
You and I are together
Infinitely
Inevitably
Because nothing makes sense
In any language or any place
Without our love to decode life’s purpose
You are a light that never goes out, no matter how dark my world becomes.
Nightlight.
She took my strained silence
And turned it to velvet
Wound the soft edges around my jagged soul
And swaddled me in the comfort of her love.
You bring me peace
By inciting madness
Because nothing feels so big
So hard and unendurable
When chaos reigns beside you
What a simple question it is
To ask what brings me the most joy.
Some may say there is no simple answer
But my response will always be:
Her.
Today, tomorrow, and yesterday.
Under the awning of the bookstore
When I kissed her ink stained fingers.
In the sheets of our bed before the dawn
Is even a thought on the horizon
With her face
Tucked under my arm like a sleeping swan
Beside the garage where the scent of tar
And gasoline is strong
But all I can smell is the apple
And sunshine scent of
Her.
You are more than the reason behind one smile.
You own the lease on my happiness.
Lion-hearted girl
Who taught you to mute your roar
Who took you to the zoo and told you that is where the lions roam?
When in truth it is the lioness
Who hunts down their prey
Who feeds their young
And protects the king of their jungle
So what does that make you, lion girl?
Queen of them all.
Is it any wonder there are so many lovers
Between May and December?
That the yin of fresh morning hours and heady new flowers
Would fit with the yang of twilight evenings and seasoned feelings
That someone so much younger could blossom under the authority
Of someone with real maturity
Love’s duality.
When I tell you to
Hush
It is not because
I don’t love the sound
Of your voice around the words
You want to say
Or the brain behind the power
To say them
I tell you to
Hush
Because you have a sharp tongue
To service your angry eyes
But a tender heart
That bruises after you
Weaponize your words
I tell you to
hush
When you say my name
Like a benediction
Or a prayer
Because I’ve read the desire
In your body
More eloquent than any words said
I tell you, my darling,
To
Hush
Because I know you
Not because I want to stop you
Because I am proud of the knowing
And I love showing
Just how much I care
She was half heaven half hell
And each met at the apex of her thighs.
When I worshiped there
It was both a prayer and a sin.
She was a queen
Raised to sit on a golden throne
In a kingdom of crystal and ice
All I had to offer was my sword of smoke and world of gasoline
With soldiers shielded by leather and coated in tatts
My currency was love and loyalty
In a market that traded in diamonds and class
I would do anything to convince her
That she might have been raised to sit on a golden throne
But she belonged on the seat of iron with a crown of steel
At my side
I found what I loved.
I was lucky
Because I know many don’t
So while I wasn’t exactly happy to do it
––To leave––
I knew I had found what I loved
And I was happy to let them kill me for it.
I’ve been making a puzzle my entire life
Exchanging pieces of my heart
With pieces from other’s souls
The trick is
––When they inevitably leave you––
To make a puzzle
That’s missing
It’s portions
Those with certain faiths know
That life is to be endured
Ruled by psalms and bibles
A sentence well served
So when the time comes to die
You will be blessed in heaven
And not cursed to bowls of a dire hell
Only, you are my heaven on earth
And the only hell I will ever know is
Life or death without you
You are not perfect
But
I want to kiss each imperfection
Like a constellation of freckles
On your skin
Connect the dots between them
Until they are fully understood
And remember
That I have the privilege of knowing
What so many others
Have wished they could
An astronomist; I stare and wonder.
Dirty Poetry.
I admit
I love
The crest of your hips against mine
The way your feet cross like a bow tied around my back
But I feel no shame in saying
It is the way I breathe words into your neck
And feel them sink into your skin
Floating through your head
Until you moan them back
That makes me come
Because there is no greater high
Than fucking your mind.
Wet leaked from her sex
Like an overturned jar
Of honey
I was a bear
A beast
It was in my nature
To crouch
between her legs
Dip my fingers in in the nectar
And feast until the jar ran
Dry
Will you finally trust me
If I promise never to leave
If even
When I die
I vow to return
To ghost beside you as you live on
To haunt you gently through the days
To protect you like a poltergeist in violent bursts of energy
To dismiss St. Peter’s pearly gates
So that I may continue my heaven with you
Even if I cannot touch you
Talk to you
Press the kisses you like to the backs of your hands
I will eschew it all
If it means finally
You’ll trust me
I’ll never stop loving you.
I wanted a rough love
A tough love
An ‘I would fight for you’ love
A demonic possession kinda love
That fills you up to the brim
So nothing else exists and you almost
—but not quite—
Forget yourself
The love people think you can
Exorcise
The love priests condemn
That makes angels plummet
Straight through earth
Into the sweltering embrace of hell
Because some things are even lovelier
In the dark
Black is my favourite colour.
Do you know why a biker calls his woman
Old Lady?
Because he knows that he will still love her
When their romance is old and their hair is gray
Because he knows the only thing that will change
With time
Is that every day
He will grow to love her more
I want to teach my sons
That the only kind of man
They should aspire to be
Is the human
Who is kind to every being.
If I go
And do not return
You must know
That I wear you forever in my side
A broken rib that beats with its own pulse
Like a second heart in my chest
A piece of you inside me
I would never return
Not even to heal myself of the pain
That comes from knowing
You might never be mine again
When I die
I want to do it
With your love like celestial dust
In my veins
So when my body turns to ash
My soul will soar
And our love will be eternalized
In the stars
When I’m gone
Here are the things I want you to know:
I want you to know the first time I saw you,
I felt the shape of my heart in my chest
The weight of each beat, the heat of each churning chamber.
It all came alive as I looked at you and
Knew
My heart was never mine to own.
It had always been lost and yours
And in that moment, it was found.
I want you to know the first time we kissed
My toes curled and my mind went blank
Pure, blissful meditation in physical manifestation
The taste on your tongue was honey
Pressed between my teeth
And I knew
I would kiss you for the rest of my life if I could
And now,
I know I did.
I want you to know that sex with you
Was so much more than fingers and tongues
The flutter of our lids
That I prayed between your parted thighs
And worshiped at the twin temples of your breast
The way a votary does for his God
And I knew
I would always be your zealot
Patient and enduring
Fervent to the point of sin.
I want you to know when I am gone
That you gave me the greatest gift a person can
You gifted me your heart
But you also gave me mine
Through the prism of your love
I found the meaning of my life.
Just remember in those moments when I am not there
That my life changed the moment I saw you.
A parking lot became a kingdom
For an asphalt ruler of bikes and men
And his chrome queen who reigned over them all.
When the King dies
The revolution begins
They had no choice to go to war
Brother against brother
Because the king was dead
The kingdom was fractured
And there was no him left to hold it together.
Definition:
Also referred to as a blind. Hand of cards placed face down on the table so that they are not visible to the players.
The king is dead
Goddamn the queen.
You never said goodbye.
And you always did before.
At the door to our house before work with a kiss I felt in my toes.
You never said goodbye
And you promised me you would
When the day came that we went to sleep holding hands
Knowing
That we would not wake up again.
You never said goodbye
And now I can’t help feeling
That this isn’t a goodbye for good.
That one day when I am sitting in the kitchen
You will come in carrying apples and tell me to
Bake you a pie like I did that very first day we were in love
I’ll have flour in my hair and juice on my cheek
That you’ll lick off with laughing lips
And everything will have been
As it was before
When you were still here.
He was no Prince Charming
On a white steed galloping with the wind
In his golden hair
Oh, he had a ride under his thighs
Made of iron and chrome
And a kingdom at his command
Made of rebels and ruffians
But he was no story book hero
He was my real-life knight in leather on his beast of metal
And he was coming for me
He was too young, too wild and reckless, filled to the brim with sex and vigor.
His eyes promised to burn me alive, incinerate my inhibitions, char my morals into ash and my soul into tinder.
He held the torch, the threat against everything I had ever stood for, and he had the audacity to tell me to come closer.
Yet, I found myself obeying.
Willingly, I lay myself on the pyre at his feet with open arms.
Because if I was going to burn, I was going to make sure we did it together.
I was a storm of calamity
Cast adrift on a sea of black doings
And loosely drawn rebel rules
He was an old growth oak
With roots sunk deep in the earth
Limbs stretching wide across the sky
Standing sentry across centuries
As the world toiled away beneath its leaves
I could whip around that kind of man
Cause hurricanes with my spirit
Quake the earth with my tempers
But he would remain forever unmoved
Standing tall and strong and free
I think that’s why I liked him.
I didn’t know how much was enough
Until I met you
And never again thought to ask for more
Each time you touch me, I fall to pieces. Fragments of my soul scattered all over the floor. But I know you will kneel amongst the
carnage and piece me back together fraction by fraction like a tactile mathematician until I am whole once more but changed for the better by the texture of your hands on my soul.
You were everything I aspired to be
Tall and strong like an oak
Flourishing with burnished leaves
The colour of your eyes
I grew around you like a vine
Seeking your heat and light
Because without you I would wither
Even if I would not die
And after a few years of carrying
My weight
You encouraged me to more
And when I grew my own roots
We stood together in the earth
Together ‘til we died
The nature of true friendship.
I don’t need romance
In candy hearts and roses
I need romance
In my back against a tree
Skirt rucked up by a strong hand
The other spreading my knees
I need the love of your body
Not in cheek kisses and holding hands
I need your body
To meet my sinful flesh’s greedy demands