the Way of a
Seducer
a Code of Honor to a lost art
HANS COMYN
“I saw in his hand a long spear of gold, and at the iron’s point there seemed to be a little fire. He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart, and to pierce my very entrails; when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also, and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God. The pain was so great, that it made me moan; and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain, that I could not wish to be rid of it. The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God. The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it, even a large one. It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God, that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying.”
- St. Teresa of Ávila
Copyright © 2016 by Hans Comyn
Back cover photo by Pierre Debroux
Photo on front cover and on page II, Ecstasy of Saint Theresa, modified under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. © 2015, Joaquim Alves Gaspar
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6b/Ecstasy_of_Saint_Teresa_September_2015-2a.jpg
Paintings by Christine Comyn
Cover design, layout and illustrations by Adam Lobo - www.eavstudio.com
Printed by Editura Karina
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
First Printing, 2016
ISBN 978-606-8514-81-9
Printed in Romania
FOREWORD
Seduction is of the essence.
It appears to me that at the heart of every failing relationship lies a lack of seduction and that our most severe frustrations come from a profound disenchantment, the feeling of not being able to seduce nor be seduced. Our partnerships, marriages, families and communities start to crumble the moment we stop seducing each other, and your self decays when you lose the aptitude to seduce or be seduced.
Seduction is the most natural cure for pain,
and a sublime manner in which to practice love.
It is the human way to adapt to new surroundings,
our last frontier,
and a gateway to liberation.
Seduction is the fastest track to spiritual enlightenment,
and your surest route to salvation.
Seduction gives meaning, seduction breathes life... It is the most difficult and artistic achievement of every encounter because, more than making us happy or horny, it fills us with wonder. It allows us to marvel at this magical world.
And yet, nearly always, seduction is articulated as a mere means to an end. Its exploration, almost exclusively, tries to answer the question ‘What works?’. We seem interested in seduction only as far as it provides us with the tools to take from the other what we covertly desire.
But what works in seduction is not my main concern.
What works in seduction is not the motif of this book.
To me, seduction is a form of art – the highest one - beautiful in its own regard, and to be explored and articulated for its own sake. I have devoted my life to it.
And the compass with which I have undertaken the voyage across the vast seas of this divine art is not efficiency, but integrity. I do not try to figure out what works; I wonder ‘What’s right?’. My main concern pertains to the right way for a man to seduce a woman. The noble way. The beautiful, artistic way. In seduction, nothing matters more than my honor.
Alas, there are no books on how to seduce with honor, and when I could not find the book I wanted to read, I decided to write it myself.
The Way of a Seducer is my code of honor on how to seduce. It is a credo to carve my path in the land of women and a manifesto to guide my journey through the art of seduction. This book is a poetic meditation on my integrity as a seducer, resulting in a collection of maxims and insights that serve as reminders to myself.
Surely, there exist numerous codes of conduct, some of them with obvious applications on how to seduce rightfully. I drew inspiration from the Bushido, for example, a code of conduct for Samurai, and I resonate with Il Cortegiano (The Book of the Courtier) by Baldassare Castiglioni, De Officiis (The Duties of a Gentleman) and De Oratore (On the Orator) by Cicero, or even with the Native American Code of Ethics.
To my knowledge, however, this is the first ever code of honor in seduction.
I wrote it because it felt right. As if I had to write this book.
All through my twenties and well into my thirties, I was not particularly popular with women. Every now and then, however, I attracted a beautiful woman, and once these women got to know me better, they rarely wanted to leave. I seemed to speak to their imagination.
In hindsight, I realize that my forte with women has been my ‘verticality’, as one of them called it. The fact that I would do everything to please her, but always for my own reasons. I could not accept when a woman crossed my boundaries, and would never sell my soul to her, however good-looking or beautiful. I was always prepared to leave and never feared being left.
Many years later, it crystallized to me that if a man is lacking in anything in order to tap into his full seductive prowess, he is lacking in integrity. Even when he is charming, and the kind of man she likes the company of and to converse with; if this man is not in the dreams of beautiful women, it is because he stands for nothing or very little. There is not much that he can be trusted for.
If this man wants to be a great seducer, his primary and overarching focus should be to discover and create – to carve – his integrity.
Throughout history and from what I have gathered on my travels, no great seducer was ever a moral guardian, but each one of them had strong integrity. I would go as far as saying that the abundance a woman experiences from her beauty, a man can only attain through fame or his integrity.
Everywhere in the world, women wonder: ‘Where have the real men gone?’.
What she is aching for, I believe, is a man of integrity, a man who stands for something. A man worthy of her trust. She wants to find a man she can trust enough to surrender to.
In this day and age, the invisible powers of the almighty mundane loom in every corner. They drag us down, suck our soul and kill us slowly.
Few of us wake up to the idea that to resist these powers is the fight of our lives. Something is not quite right, so we sense, but we have become so good at tolerating our plight that we end up giving in and settle for less than we dreamed of. Like frogs in gradually freezing water, growing more numb with every dropping degree.
A critical step in becoming a seductive man is to find and fight those drag-ons. To recognize their power and stand unwavering. To not give in, to never settle, or - if necessary – to fight back. To seduce is an act of rebellion.
A man committed to fight that battle till the bitter end instantly becomes the fantasy of beautiful women. Such a man grows from a man she likes the company of, to the man she cannot stop thinking about. That integrity is an indispensable condition for every glorious seduction. Such verticality is a prerequisite for a man to keep seducing his Woman.
A man has to be upright, so as to allow Her to be frivolous.
This book is a poetic depiction of my integrity at this point in time. It is a work in progress. My principles may not be sound, but I feel very strongly about them. I do not pretend to be right; I want to do what is right for me. I strive for personal goodness and moral elegance, not to set it in stone, but to start a tradition. My hope is that this book instigates the exploration of
the seducer’s integrity and advances the art of seduction.
It may be obvious then, but bears repeating, that I am not a moral guardian. I have no desire to tell others what is right in general or right for them.
If the Way of a Seducer helps you shape your integrity, I am honored, but every man has to carve his own way into the land of women. With this book, I am carving mine.
Hans Comyn
Bucharest, 2017
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Foreword V
Table of contents IX
Thank you XVI
Setting the Stage 01 - 21
Approaching Seduction
Stage One 22 - 46
Seduction as a practice in
self-expression
Stage Two 47 - 73
Exploring the open sea
about the author 75
Setting the Stage
Approaching Seduction
On seduction 3
On being seduced 4
On beauty 6
On women 7
We all seek to be seduced, and if life is about the beauty you beheld, then the ritual of seduction must be observed. I reclaim the allure of seduction as the poetry of the encounter, a sublime co-creation between the artist and his audience. Women are not a problem to be solved, they are a mystery to revel in. Is there anything more artistic than the dance with Her?
On curiosity 9
On empathy 10
On questions 12
On truth 13
On trust 14
In order to be seduced, we must suspend our judgment and look at our world with new eyes. Être à l’écoute allows us to marvel at each other and stand in awe for the wonders that surround us. In this world, knowledge is of little concern, beauty has value besides truth, and your ability to seduce matters as much as your honesty.
On the art of seduction 17
On your way 20
On authenticity 21
Growing your seductive capacity is a spiritual journey into your authenticity - to find your voice while listening to the seduction at play. Everybody dreams their own dream and only when a man is at peace with his unique solitude, will he be able to tap into his full seductive prowess.
Stage One
Seduction as a practice in Self-expression
On your circumstances 24
On choice 25
On death 26
On meaning 27
On purity of mind 28
On what you want 29
On that journey, les excuses sont faites pour s’en servir. Nothing of what you believe to be true is a matter of truth, and what truly matters is the world you choose to live in. Life seems too short to waste it playing small, but for yours to be extraordinary, you must give it meaning. This designation requires daily grooming: to ignore your problems and to express your gratitude and your desire.
On intention 31
On preparation 32
On letting go 33
On losing 34
On disagreement 35
When you come to terms with your desires, and clear about what you want, life gives you exactly what you need. Set your intention, prepare the next encounter, then let go of everything you think you know and ought to do. It is in this sense that the matters of your greatest concern should be treated lightly. Love is about losing, and to be kind and graceful in loss sets you up for success.
On duty 37
On commitment 38
On joy 39
On acting anyway 40
On decisiveness 41
On outrage 42
On being sorry 43
On how to love 44
On vulnerability 46
Then, go forward and course correct. To seduce is first and foremost a commitment, and to fulfill his duty is a seducer’s pride and joy. He is resolved with acting anyway and going first into the unknown. He is decisive, bold, and unafraid to be vulnerable when saying “I love you” or “I am sorry”.
Stage Two
Exploring the Open Sea
On the essence of seduction 49
On being a seducer 50
On celebrating her 51
On praise 52
On the conquest 53
There is a greater brutality to seduction than political correctness allows us to explore. As much as she is a treasure to be cherished, she is also quarry to be hunted down. Seduction sees the seducer sacrifice the self, and the seduced surrender, and when you conquer the heart of a woman through seduction, you set her spirit free. She becomes more of a woman, and you become more of a man.
On the dance 57
On the duel 58
Every glorious seduction is both a dance and a duel. It is in the encounter with a fascinating woman that your masculinity becomes apparent and is sculpted. A masterful seducer rises to the occasion and moves with serene determination. He takes his time, draws, fires, and hits.
On magnificence 60
On poetry 62
On rituals and ceremonies 63
On gratitude 64
On grace 65
For that man, God is not his problems nor his quest, but the magnificence of the seduction at play. It’s the only God he answers to. He dares to dream exuberantly and meets her in a realm where they can revel together, as there is no better occasion than the partaking in the ancient ritual of seduction to be both audacious and gracious. Imagine being at the service of this timeless dance.
On the language of women 67
On intuition 68
On presence 70
On economy of speech 71
On the end of things 72
When you serve the ceremony of seduction, you start understanding the language of women. You begin to sense your way through their land. You know how to seduce Her rightfully, and she will be on your side.
THANK YOU
Adam Lobo . Christine Comyn . Ana-Maria Chirica . Olivier Braet . Kristoffer Storjohann . John Kahmanian . Felix Fas Ghauri . Shogo Garcia . Pierre Debroux . Nicolas Lobo . Moneet Singh . Karina Bonta . Maria Dumitrache .
thank you for furthering this book with me.
Setting the Stage
Approaching Seduction
ON SEDUCTION
Seduction is the poetry of the encounter,
an attestation of your dreams in daily life.
In a scientistic world,
devoid of ornament,
where everything is simply laid out and presented in the name of truth,
seduction sways and calls your name…
It is a much-craved counterweight
that hints upon,
invites,
and leads you into a hidden world.
A wondrous world.
A world where the senses feed the imagination,
facts are at the service of the story,
and all protagonists play in the name of beauty.
Is there anything more artistic than the seduction of a beautiful woman?
ON BEING SEDUCED
To be seduced is to be lost without losing.
Gone without the leaving.
A most graceful and fulfilling evanescence.
It is death without dying.
Seek to be seduced,
and let that which is seductive, fully seduce you.
Seek to be seduced
One should always seek to be seduced.
It is the only thing that matters, it is your number one concern.
So as not to succumb to the invisible powers of the almighty mundane,
which suck you in and drag you down,
one must seek to be seduced without respite.
But seduced by what?
By women, by beauty, music, poetry or virtue, as you please,
but seek to be seduced.
And when you find yourself stuck in traffic,
walking
the bleak hallways of an office,
or yearning in the dark solitude of your room,
seduction fading or died out,
ask the wind, the birds, the waves, the stars, your Gods,
anything that whispers, sings, roars, shines or speaks to you,
ask them what to do.
And the wind, the birds, the waves, the stars, your Gods... they will all reply:
“Seek to be seduced!”
To not become martyred slaves of everything that is common,
seek to be seduced,
and be relentless in your pursuit!
By women, by beauty, music, poetry or virtue, as you please,
but seek to be seduced.
Adaptation of ‘Enivrez-vous’ by Charles Baudelaire