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    Poems, Prose & Penniless Vol 1.


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    POEMS, PROSE & PENNILESS

      Vol 1.

      JOHN MUIR

      Copyright John Robert Muir 1982. John Robert Muir asserts the legal and moral rights to be identified as the author of this work.

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written consent and permission of the publisher.

      DISCLAIMER:

      These poems and prose are works of fiction. The names and characters are from the imagination of the author and any resemblance to any persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental. If you think the author has written about you, your ego is greater than your imagination or common sense.

      Licence Notes:

      Thank you for downloading this ebook. It remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied, and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favourite retailer, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

      Acknowledgements: The author and publisher wish to thank the many individuals for ideas, inspiration, editing, encouragement and support.

      Published in EBooks 2014

      EBooks ISBN:

      Authors Note

      I published many of these poems in a collection in 1983. As a result of requests I have made them available in eBook format. My grateful thanks to Noeline Grant, artistic painter and photographer, from Kati Kati, New Zealand, for her permission to use the cover art.

      **********

      INDEX

      Two Words

      Pick me, Pick Me

      My Wants With You

      I’ll Always Remember June and October

      From The Party To The Reality

      Unceasing Search

      Circles And Confusion

      Astrology

      Love Is Continuous

      The Unbreakable Bond

      Cupid On Glass

      Public Relations

      That Damn Jigsaw Puzzle

      I Am Part Of You My Friend, And You’re A Part Of Me

      Reminders Of Home

      What Are Teddy Bears For?

      Up Front

      My Secret

      Fair Weather Lover

      Windsurfer, Windsurfer

      For Someone

      Bed And Blankets

      Love Is Crystal

      It’s Like The Way

      Effigies Fail

      Flying Friend

      Under The Headphones After Sweetwaters

      Won’t You Ever Learn

      You Are Everywhere

      For Michelle’s Birthday Card

      Another Day

      I Love Your Need To Be Cuddled

      Words Can Say Anything

      About The Author: and for list of other works

      TWO WORDS

      “You.

      A word so small,

      but meaning so much,

      For that simple word

      contains all my love.

      But a smaller word,

      Us,

      contains all my happiness

      and all I want.”

      **********

      (Previously appeared in Cosmopolitan Magazine circa 1984)

      PICK ME, PICK ME

      “Sit alone in a ‘Singles Bar’ for two hours.

      See everyone come in pairs.

      The groups of guys,

      each to give the other courage.

      Some with wedding rings removed,

      showing faint finger band white on third finger,

      left hand.

      An unintended revelation of the night,

      and deception.

      The girls too in pairs arrive,

      many finger band white on third finger,

      their vows hidden in the purse for the night.

      It’s not done to enter alone.

      If the hunters are blatant they sit

      next to the entry.

      If they’re subtle, they sit

      in the darker recesses, to asses the prey.

      The blasē salesmen

      crash their way to introductions;

      run over the same well rehearsed lines,

      and hope for some miracle

      which sometimes does occur.

      Hey miracle, I’m over here!

      It isn’t done for guys to be shy.

      But without a hunting mate

      I’m no match for salesmen

      or other pairs.

      So miracle,

      Pick me! Pick me!”

      **********

      MY WANTS WITH YOU

      “I want to hold your hand,

      as we paddle between the breakers

      and the shore.

      To laugh with you

      as the sudden shower

      wets our hair and faces.

      To lie with you under the sun

      and feel its warmth

      on our backs.

      To watch with you

      the sunset over the sea,

      and the stars at midnight.

      To hear with you the morning birds

      that wake us from our sleep.

      And turn and see your morning face.”

      **********

      I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER JUNE AND OCTOBER

      “I’ll always remember June and October,

      the months you came and went.

      Thank you for a dream.

      For a while I could plan

      for what seemed reality.

      You gave that hope to me.

      So I thank you for the time.

      It is only I who remembers

      placing the long pillow by you

      while you slept.

      To keep in the warm

      and avoid your waking.

      Like I remember watching

      you put your arm over the pillow

      and kiss it in your sleep.

      It was a shame

      I woke from that dream

      into a nightmare.

      With no understanding

      of why you left.

      Though it is only my history,

      I’ll always remember that year,

      and the months June and October.”

      **********

      FROM THE PARTY TO THE REALITY

      “I looked,

      then looked again.

      My chemistry surged,

      my body sparked.

      Could you possibly sense it?

      You seemed to react to my presence.

      But surely,

      my mind is playing tricks

      by reading what I want,

      not reading what is real.

      Then we speak,

      Our hands touch on introduction.

      Sensory overload so magical,

      together.

      It is all going well.

      Too well.

      We make arrangements for tomorrow,

      without consummation tonight.

      Then tomorrow arrives,

      I phone you.

      The atmosphere is gone.

      The magic dissipated.

      Last night’s feelings flopped.”

      **********

      UNCEASING SEARCH

      “My unceasing search

      is all that keeps me going.

      I know I’m ready now

      for love,

      and loving.

      I think I’ve been ready

      for quite a while now.

      The sense of urgency

      and feeling of desperation

      is felt more pressing each day.

      Almost as if the race

      is nearly over,


      and I have yet to start.

      As though my time is close

      to being all used up.

      As if any day now

      I’ll hear a voice call out,

      ‘come in Boat 5 – your time is up’.

      It’s not quite like that,

      but very nearly,

      For this pressure inside me

      is screaming to get out.

      It’s love that’s built up

      looking for the right release.

      A pressure not as easily relieved now

      by the distraction

      from my search.

      I look at so many pairs of eyes,

      and wonder,

      are you the one?

      I cross streets unnecessarily

      to catch another’s eye.

      Some look back,

      but most don’t.

      Even with those that do,

      my embarrassment means

      I do nothing about it.

      Too fearful I’ll be obvious.

      I so often wish I had courage enough

      to simply say –

      ‘I’d like to talk with you awhile,

      as I will likely never see you again.

      And if I miss this chance,

      I might miss the chance

      of ending my search.’

      So, if you see me looking,

      please smile back,

      and say ‘Hello’.”

      **********

      CIRCLES AND CONFUSION

      “I often work out where I’m at,

      then wonder why I’m there.

      And if I’m there, just where is it?

      How did I get to here?

      I know I’ve been right here before

      I didn’t like it then.

      So I ask myself once more,

      ‘why me, why me again?’

      How do we learn? can we look back?

      And learn things from the past?

      But if the past does hurt too much

      how long can hurt last?

      So if you ever wonder why

      your muddled mind can’t cope.

      We live in circles cruel and hard,

      but try to live in hope.”

      **********

      ASTROLOGY

      “I still read your horoscope every day

      and hope they foretell some miracle,

      like your return to me.

      But then I fear,

      that if the miracle as written

      did not occur,

      how could I cope?

      But what if as is written ,

      if it did occur,

      and you returned to me;

      how would I cope?

      So I am sad and happy

      when I read

      your stars every day.

      For to date,

      no miracle is forecast.

      So I don’t have to face

      whether I could cope”

      **********

      LOVE IS CONTINUOUS

      “I love you

      in the only way I know how.

      It is not material,

      and able to be touched.

      It is an emotional thing.

      For I love you as much

      in a group of a thousand people,

      as I do when

      we are by ourselves.

      My love for you is not a secret,

      only to be shared

      behind closed doors.

      Not there to be switched off and on

      when it is convenient.

      It is uncontrolled and continuous.

      I can no more switch off my love

      than I can stop my heart beating.”

      **********

      (Previously appeared in Cosmopolitan Magazine circa 1985)

      THE UNBREAKABLE BOND

      “I’ve seen them,

      lying on beach sands,

      bodies apart,

      yet fingers touching.

      I’ve seen them,

      on busy and quiet streets,

      hand in hand,

      keeping their pace together.

      I’ve seen her,

      caressing his neck

      with her fingers,

      as he drives through city traffic.

      I’ve seen him,

      holding her arm,

      to guide her safely

      across a busy street.

      In groups of friends,

      she briefly touches his arm,

      to reinforce

      the bond between them.

      He smiles at her

      across a room,

      that smile that says

      we are one.”

      **********

      CUPID ON GLASS

      “The window covered in condensation

      from our hot breath,

      Formed from a night of lovemaking,

      while outside the frost chills.

      I write our names

      inside a heart

      pierced by Cupid’s arrow.

      And wonder if its rapid fading is prophetic.

      The cold morning air

      delays my rising,

      As you could delay me

      with your warm breath

      and fitting body.

      Allowing me smugness,

      with snugness,

      knowing you love me.

      Knowing you’ll be here

      to love only me,

      nearly as much as I love you.”

      **********

      PUBLIC RELATIONS

      “Public relations is smiling.

      Even when you’d prefer to put a knife

      into the gizzard

      of some hypocritical pig.

      But that makes you

      as big a hypocrite

      for smiling.”

      **********

      THAT DAMN JIGSAW PUZZLE

      “I am happy and sad

      when I think of you.

      So very happy that I

      was lucky enough

      to have met you.

      So very glad that you

      allowed me to share

      your life for a while

      But very sad

      that the jigsaw of our lives

      could not meld as one.”

      **********

      I AM PART OF YOU MY FRIEND, AND YOU’RE A PART OF ME

      “All the beings in this world

      must surely be one body.

      And each of us mere atoms in

      a body shared by all.

      This makes me part of you my friend

      and you a part of me.

      So you’re an atom in my body

      and I’m a part of you.

      So I must feel what injures you

      to help you put it right.

      ‘Cause if I don’t then your sad soul

      gives pain in our joint mind.

      Although the world seems large to be

      one body of us all.

      It all makes sense when looking out

      to see our total soul.

      Like Einstein said, if we could see

      so far past space and time,

      we’d see so far that we’d look back

      to see ourselves here now.

      So you’re a part of me my friend

      and I’m a part of you.

      But just how much you are in me,

      and how much I’m in you,

      I’ll never really learn my friend,

      I can’t divide my mind.

      My mind has got you well entrenched,

      or is that mine in yours?

      So you see the minds are one,

      But which one is just me?”

      **********

      REMINDERS OF HOME

      “It was good to see a sparrow

      flitting through the plum tree,

      a sight I know so well.

      It’s something that’s familiar

      from somewhere that I love.

      The pigeons whistled in,

      and cooed around the bread

      I’d tossed them from th
    e porch.

      Its not quite as familiar

      having pigeons in my yard.

      I’m used to seeing them

      in the greener pastures of home.

      Even the warmer winters

      make me miss the cold

      of the night.

      The cold that made us

      snuggle in close

      for warmth.

      And me?

      I’m just a country boy,

      now in a big city.

      Trying to keep country values

      in a city of many faces

      that in total count two.

      I’ll try and keep my one face

      and my one smile.

      Then hope that I meet you

      before my face splits

      from hypocrisy.

      Then perhaps we may share,

      or visit,

      the place I call home.”

      **********

      WHAT ARE TEDDY BEARS FOR?

      “Lady, you don’t have to justify

      this night in your mind.

      Between missing real love and loneliness,

      there is so little difference.

      We both are alone, and we both need a sharing.

      a feeling of caring and warmth.

      Let your mind concede

      you want company

      Let your mind concur

      with your body.

      If it forestalls the loneliness

      just one more day, until tomorrow,

      then it has been worthwhile.

      It’s nice to be cuddled in warmth,

      What are teddy bears for?

      You don’t go to bed just for sex,

      that just happens,

      it follows along the way.

      It’s the warmth and the cuddles that follow

      that puts off the lonely todays.

      If your partner is feeling alone,

      just like you

      they too need the cuddle.

      Then, what of me?

      If you find me easy to share with,

      then let’s just share the time

      in warmth and cuddles together.

      Let’s just share the night as friends,

      maybe lovers,

      should the mood take us.

      But tomorrow,

      don’t think we are chained

      in commitment to each other.

      I don’t want to own you,

      and,

      you won’t own me.

      Let’s just have our little secret

      and remember,

      we were lovers once,

      and perhaps might be again.

      But most of all let’s remember

      we are friends.

      Friends who have taken down

      that last barrier between us.

      Friends who have conceded

      they needed warmth for a night.”

      **********

      UP FRONT

      “The pretty girl,

      not wanting any rival,

      has her ugly friend in tow.

      She carefully chose her hunting mate.

      While the ugly duckling

      is content to feed

      Off the crumbs tossed away

      by her pretty friend.

      All the while learning

      That she must develop

      what the self-centred pretty one

      will never possess.

      Personality and feelings.

      In the final summation then,

      the ugly one wins through.

      So perhaps it is

      the ugly girl

      with her pretty friend out front,

      to attract the bees.

      The pretty one,

      In shiny cellophane wrapping

      is revealed as a plastic flower.

      And all the sweet nectar

      is with the ugly rose.”

      **********

      MY SECRET

      “I think of you, your face your eyes,

      You’re everything I’ve sought.

      But I am me and I’m with mine,

      And yet you are my thought.

      Cause I’d looked round for such as you,

      and now you’ve come along.

      Am I too late? I live in hope.

      Please tell me I’m not wrong.

      My mind says No, my heart says Yes,

      But common sense reveals,

     

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