Told You So
A Saratoga Falls Love Story
Lindsey Pogue
Book Three
Told You So
Book Three of A Saratoga Falls Love Story Series
By Lindsey Pogue
Copyright © 2018 Lindsey Pogue
All Rights Reserved
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All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the author, except as used in book review.
This is a work of fiction. Characters, names, places, events or incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to places or incidents is purely coincidental.
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Editing by Lauren McNerney
Cover Design by Covers by Combs
Written and Published by Lindsey Pogue
101 W. American Canyon Road, Ste. 508-262
American Canyon, CA 94503
Printed in the USA
Also by Lindsey Pogue
Saratoga Falls Love Stories
Whatever It Takes
Nothing But Trouble
Told You So
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Forgotten Lands
Dust and Shadow
Borne of Sand and Scorn - Prequel Novella
Wilt and Ruin (TBR)
Borne of Earth and Ember (TBR)
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The Ending Series
After The Ending
Into The Fire
Out Of The Ashes
Before The Dawn
The Ending Beginnings Omnibus
The Ending Series: World Before
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For more information visit: www.lindseypogue.com
Contents
Prologue
Four Months After New Year’s
1. Bethany
2. Nick
3. Nick
4. Nick
5. Bethany’s Journal
6. Bethany
7. Bethany
8. Nick
9. Bethany
10. Bethany’s Journal
11. Bethany
12. Nick
13. Nick
14. Nick
15. Bethany’s Journal
16. Nick
17. Bethany
18. Nick
19. Bethany
20. Bethany’s Journal
21. Bethany
22. Nick
23. Bethany
24. Nick
25. Bethany
26. Nick
27. Bethany
28. Nick
29. Bethany
30. Bethany’s Journal
31. Nick
32. Nick
33. Nick
34. Bethany
35. Bethany
36. Bethany’s Journal
37. Nick
38. Bethany
39. Nick
40. Bethany
41. Nick
42. Bethany
43. Nick
44. Bethany
45. Nick
46. Bethany
47. Bethany
48. Nick
49. Bethany
50. Bethany
51. Nick
52. Bethany
53. Bethany’s Journal
54. Bethany
55. Nick
Epilogue
Author’s Note
A Sneak Peek at Forgotten Lands
Also by Lindsey Pogue
About The Author
For Nick. Thank you for inspiring such a beloved character.
And for Ginny and the gang. This book wouldn’t have happened without our summer adventures and shenanigans. Anna Marie, you’ll always be my bubbles girl.
Prologue
New Year’s Eve
Bethany
The night is dark, the road covered in snow, and my heart thumps in time with the blinker as Nick turns onto Main Street.
“Are you all right?” His voice is tentative and breaks the charged silence that hangs in the warm air blasting from the heater—it’s thick and almost smothering in my panic, but I can’t stop shaking. I don’t think it’s because of the cold, though.
“Not really,” I rasp. “It’s twelve degrees outside and my baby brother is out there.” Alone.
My mind races with unease, but my vision is still a little hazy from too much sparkling wine. I press my eyelids closed and take a deep breath. When I blink them open, I force the night surrounding us into focus. “This is all my fault.”
I peer out at the passing streetlights and each of my panicked breaths steam up the passenger side window. I knew I shouldn’t have gone out partying tonight—I knew something like this would happen. “I shouldn’t have left him.”
“Left him?” Nick grinds out. “Left him where? Jesus, Bethany. I know you like to party, but you left him—alone?” His voice is sharp and drips with judgement, more than I can stomach right now.
“No.” I laugh bitterly. “I didn’t leave him alone. You have no idea what you’re talking about, Nick.” I glare at him, staring into his wide, hazel eyes.
“I know enough,” he says caustically, a strand of brown hair falling into his face.
“Excuse me?” I have no idea what Nick thinks he knows about me, but he’s clueless if it’s that I would ever put my brother in danger. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? You know nothing about me, no matter what you might think.” I shake my head, scoffing at my idiocy. “I confide in you when I’m like, twelve, and you think you have me and my life all figured out?” The words form and roll off my tongue too easily, and I’ve had too many drinks tonight to stop them. “You’re clueless, Nick, no matter what you and your perfect, preppy group of friends think. So just mind your own business.”
“Hey, I might be clueless, but I could’ve left you freaking out in the parking lot at Lick’s.” His anger is sobering, and he’s right. I have no idea what I would be doing right now if he hadn’t offered to help me.
Balling my purse strap in my hands, I force myself to calm down. The constant tug and pull between Nick and me is not something I can deal with right now. Unable to meet his eyes, I peer out the window, willing Jesse’s form to come into view.
“I told you I would help you, and I will,” Nick says, breaking the wounded silence. He rests his hand on mine. “I’m just—I’m really confused right now.” His eyes shift back to the road. “You have an AWOL brother, and I have no clue what happened,” he says more calmly, and his fingers squeeze mine reassuringly.
His touch makes me feel like I’m sixteen again. His hand is big and warm, and I can’t tear my gaze away from the way it wraps around mine. The last time he held my hand we were only kids, and even if I’m not as innocent, Nick still affects me the same way. Only, this time he smells of Old Spice and his voice is more commanding. Even now, after all these years and what’s transpired between us, I feel emboldened and want to confide in him again.
“Thank you for helping me,” I say and pull my hand away from his.
He looks at me askance. “You’re welcome, but you’re not very forthcoming with information, you know? You never have been.” It’s a light-hearted gibe that I appreciate in the tension, and I choke out a sad, pathetic laugh. All I remember from the day we first met are my tears and Nick’s infectious smile. It was comforting and pulled me in. It’s stuck with me ever since.
“I guess very little changes, despite the years,” I think aloud. “It’s exhausting, you know. Keeping it all in.”
“So, tell me what happened,” he urges.
“I don’t know what happened after I left, but I needed to get
out of the house tonight. I should’ve stayed, I knew I should have, but I just . . . you don’t know what it’s like. It’s never enough, nothing is ever enough.” My voice is foreign to me, desperate like I haven’t heard it in a while, and I do everything I can to reel my frayed emotions back in and spare us both the humiliation of my impending breakdown. In spite of the alcohol in my blood and the fear clouding my mind, I have to keep it together long enough to find Jesse and get him home.
Running my fingers through my loose curls, I take a deep breath. Sweat still lingers on my skin from dancing in a drunken throng of handsy party-goers. “If I would’ve slept in just a little bit longer this morning,” I say under my breath, “none of this would’ve happened.” I would’ve missed my dad’s homecoming, as well as his disappointment, and I would’ve stayed home tonight with Jesse.
“He was supposed to be at home with my parents. I knew something was wrong when I had a missed call from my mom. My dad said something—he upset Jesse somehow. I know how it goes, even if I wasn’t there.” Shaking my head, I wonder if nothing will ever change. “I’d just stepped outside to listen to my mom’s message, when you walked out.” I eye the snow-covered sidewalks as we drive down Main Street. “I didn’t expect Jesse to have run away. Not in the middle of the night.” Not in the snow with nowhere to go.
“Are you sure he ran away?” Nick asks tentatively. “Maybe he went to a friend’s house.” The incredulity in his voice is both painstakingly sweet and maddeningly naïve. It’s just another reminder of how different Nick and I are.
“Jesse doesn’t have friends,” I explain. “Not really. He’s obsessed with movies, science, and he likes building things. He knows more pop culture trivia than anyone I know.” The awe in my voice seems to surprise him. “But, sometimes Jesse gets triggered and spirals, and he goes off on his own. It’s how he’s been acting out lately, and it’s scary as hell because an autistic eleven-year-old on his own, relatively high-functioning or not, is like a mouse running across a highway, everything is fast and scary, and . . .” My voice breaks off, and I glance at Nick. He’s frowning, staring out the windshield.
“He’s done this twice now, but he’s always gone to the ice cream shop down the street from my house. It’s familiar and safe. At this time of night—I have no idea where he would’ve gone.”
“Why isn’t your mom helping you look for him?” Nick almost spits out the words.
“She is,” I breathe. “I think. But she won’t find him. She doesn’t know him like I do.” It’s a sad, pathetic truth, but it’s the truth all the same. I brace my elbow on the door and watch the flurries of snow pass by the window.
“I feel like the police should be involved in this, Bethany. It’s freezing out, and if you don’t know where to look for him—”
“Let’s just check the park, and then I’ll call them, okay? Just—not yet.” I’m still living the aftermath of the last time I acted preemptively, and I’m not ready to get the authorities involved just yet. “Turn here,” I say, pointing to Beecham Street.
“You think he might be at the park?”
I stare out at the passing shadows, searching for any sign of my brother, trudging along or sitting on the curb, or even fallen down in the snow. “Jesse liked organizing Mac’s shop the other day when we were in there dropping off the Range Rover,” I say, more frantic as it hits me that, if he’s not here, he might actually be lost or in danger. “For a few days after, every time we got in the car, he asked if we were going to see Mac. He’s got it in his head that he likes the shop or her. Maybe he’ll show up there. Or—he likes to read all the info boards at the park . . . It’s all I can think of.” I breathe out my last bit of hope.
Nick’s hands tighten audibly around the leather-bound steering wheel before he lets out a despondent sigh. “If he’s not here, Bethany, we’re calling the police. We can’t search the whole town in the dark by ourselves. Especially if he’s cold and scared.”
I nod because Nick’s right, even if it’s the last thing I want to do. Glancing at the clock approaching midnight, I wipe the silent tears from my cheeks. “I know.”
I scour the shadows of Cal’s Auto, where I half expect Jesse to be standing, staring in the window at the Christmas tree’s blinking lights he seemed so taken with the other day. But he’s not there.
I grip my cell phone in my hand, prepared to make the call, when Nick brings the Explorer to a stop.
“Is that him?” He leans closer to the window.
Heart racing with hopefulness, I peer through the windshield into the park. Moonlight illuminates the seesaw and roundabout settled in the snow. Everything is a glistening blue against utter darkness, and at first nothing appears out of place.
Then, I see a shadowed outline on one of the swings.
Throwing my seatbelt off, I fling open the door. “Jesse!” I shout out his name, praying it’s him as I climb out of the car and hurry over as quickly as I can, even if my high heels make it seemingly impossible over the frozen pavement and snow. Frigid air bites at my legs and face, and snow crumbles into my shoes, but I welcome it as my brother’s outline becomes clearer. “Jesse!”
He’s staring down at his feet when I reach him, wrapped in a down jacket and in his beanie and boots. “Oh my God, what the hell were you thinking!” I want to smack the crap out of him, but I pull him into my arms instead. “Running off like that—I’ve been so worried! Mom and Dad had no idea where you were.”
“I wanted ice cream,” Jesse mutters against my chest. His breath is warm on my neck, and I grip him tighter. “I went to the ice cream store but they were closed.”
I nearly laugh with hysteria. “That’s because it’s midnight, J. I know you wanted to get out of the house, but you could’ve called me,” I tell him, breathing in the scent of his hair—his clothes—anything to reassure my senses that he’s here and real and that he’s okay. I catch my breath and temper the tears in my eyes. “Don’t ever do that again. Like, ever. Okay? You’re going to give me a heart attack and then who will you design your theme park with?”
He tries to pull away from me, but I grip him tighter. “Hey,” I bite out. “I know you’re not a hugger, but you don’t get to pull away from me, not after what you just put me through. Consider it punishment.”
When I finally let go long enough to look at him, a small smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. “I just wanted ice cream,” he repeats.
“I know, J.” I allow myself a heavy sigh in relief, then shiver. “Come on.” I turn toward the car. “Nick’s waiting.”
Jesse’s eyes shift toward the Explorer, or maybe at Nick standing beside it. “Was he with you?” he asks as I lead him along.
“No, I ran into him when I was going to look for you. Nick’s the one that spotted you out here all alone. I was about to call the police.”
Jesse crunches through the snow behind me as I slog my way back to the Explorer, utterly shaking with relief and cold.
“Hey, kid,” Nick says as we reach the car. “I’m glad you’re not frozen to the swing.” He opens the back-passenger door in offering.
Jesse barely tilts his head, but I can tell he’s concentrating on Nick the best he can as he starts to climb in. I take my brother’s hand. “J,” I say briskly. I try to keep my composure, but the adrenaline and panic all come crashing back down over me. “Wait for a sec.”
He looks around at the dark night and up at the street lamps and the flurries floating in the air—anywhere but at me.
“Jesse,” I say calmly—earnestly, “you can never do that again. I need you to promise me.” The sudden pitch in my voice is like a crack in a glass mirror, and I hate the way it fractures, but I can’t help it. I squeeze his hand, knowing a squeeze back means he understands. I know he can sense my distress, he can even feel it, and after a brief moment, he finally squeezes my hand back.
“Thank you—I love you.” I kiss his forehead and nod for him to climb into the car.
“The heat
’s on,” Nick tells him, and Jesse situates himself inside without another word.
Closing the door, I turn to Nick, tears of gratitude filling my eyes. “Thank you,” I say, and white puffs of breath surround us.
Nick looks at me, concerned . . . and curious. “Yeah, of course. I’m just glad you found him.”
With the panic in the air dissipating, the charged current of attraction I’ve always had for him enlivens the space between us again. He can feel it. It’s in the tension of his shoulders. I can feel it, humming through my body with anticipation and unease. I can’t seem to look away from him, and thankfully, it’s too dark for him to notice my reddening cheeks under his gaze.
Sometimes he’s the boy who sat with me all those years ago as I cried, thinking my entire world was coming to an end. Sometimes he’s the jock who broke my heart, even if he doesn’t realize it. So much passes between us in a single exhale, a lifetime of unspoken questions and drowning attraction. It’s an inescapable pull and the promise of ecstasy, as well as heartbreak.