Perception
Or
The Oatmeal Cookie
& Michelle’s mind
A book of screenplays by
Michelle Hoogwoud
This book is dedicated to Mr. Monkey.
His silent words of wisdom are always inspiring.
The Real Heroes
Episode 1: Beginners Luck
Written by Michelle Hoogwoud
January 17th 2008
FADE IN:
INT. Warehouse – Night
The camera moves from boxes to view the ROBBER. A VICTIM screams.
VICTIM
Somebody help me!
The robber ties up the victim and does victimizing things.
ROBBER
Nobody can help you now!
(Evil maniacal laughter)
VICTIM
Noooo-------
Out from the distance appear ‘The Heroes.’ The robber cannot see them from behind. A volleyball hits the robber.
ROBBER
Who did that?
CARTRIDGE
We did.
ROBBER
Who are you?
CARTRIDGE
We are the Real Heroes!
ALL HEROES SPEAK
And we fight for justice!
CRAZYMIKALA
Justice!
VOLLEYBOY shoves CRAZYMIKALA. She pushes back. They start shoving and pushing each other a lot. The room is silent and only rustling and thuds are heard. The robber looks confused, and then continues to do victimizing things.
VOLLEYBOY
Hey! Don’t ignore us!
GIZMO
Water for you, Volleyboy?
All that shoving must’ve given you
quite a workout.
CRAZYMIKALA
(laughs) Already?
VOLLEYBOY
Hey! Shut up!
Volleyboy grabs the bottle of water from Gizmo. Cartridge pulls out a gadget.
CARTRIDGE
(yells) Victimizer! Beware!
Cartridge takes some time trying to work the device. He can’t open or work it properly.
ROBBER
Whatever.
The robber then takes off and leaves the warehouse. Crazymikala and Volleyboy are still arguing. Gizmo is playing with a rubix cube. Cartridge finally gets the device working.
CARTRIDGE
Ah ha! Wait... crap.
CRAZYMIKALA
Good going Cartridge.
VOLLEYBOY
It’s not his fault Crazymikala.
You should’ve been paying attention.
CRAZYMIKALA
YOU were relaxing drinking your
water!
Gizmo looks startled and stops playing with the rubix cube.
GIZMO
Huh? Water for you Cartridge?
Gizmo pulls out another bottle of water.
CARTRIDGE
No thanks.
The heroes then save the victim. Cartridge unties her/him.
VICTIM
Oh thank you so much for saving me!
CRAZYMIKALA
No problem!
VOLLEYBOY
You didn’t do anything!
CRAZYMIKALA
No problem!
VICTIM
But, all my stuff is stolen.
CRAZYMIKALA
No problem!
GIZMO
Water?
CRAZYMIKALA
Thanks!
VOLLEYBOY
Let’s celebrate!
GIZMO, VOLLEYBOY, CRAZYMIKALA
YEAH! (high five or jump)
CARTRIDGE
The robber got away. This is no time
to celebrate.
GIZMO
Of course it is! The victim has
been saved!
The three cheer again.
CRAZYMIKALA
Don’t worry victim number one,
we’ll find your stuff.
VICTIM
Why am I victim number 1?
VOLLEYBOY
Because you’re the first person
we’ve ever saved!
CRAZYMIKALA
This is awesome!
All four heroes cheer and the victim looks unimpressed.
CUT TO:
Scenes of having fun. All scenes are about 30 seconds in
film time. Each location at 30 seconds max.
1. Bowling alley
2. Park/playground
3. Drinking/dancing
4. Gizmo throws confetti from above
5. Playing video games
CUT TO:
EXT. Sidewalk
The heroes walk while laughing and all smiles. They come across an abandoned bag. They pick it up. Cartridge takes out a cell phone and dials a “home” number.
CARTRIDGE
Hi, is this victim number 1?
VICTIM (V.O.)
Huh? OH! …uh… yeah. It’s you guys.
The name’s Alexis.
GIZMO
We found your stuff.
CARTRIDGE
Yes, we found your stuff.
CRAZYMIKALA
Stuff.
Volleyboy then shoves Crazymikala. They push and shove each other.
GIZMO
It’s in a bag.
VICTIM (V.O.)
Is everything in it? Mainly, are my
office keys in there?
CARTRIDGE
Hmm.. (scrummages through bag)
No.
VICTIM (V.O.)
(screams) OH MY GOD! NOO!!!
VOLLEYBOY
Listen lady/man! We have your bag.
Aren’t you happy? Ingrate.
Cartridge hangs up the phone.
CRAZYMIKALA
We were awesome!
The heroes give high fives to each other. The scene freezes at that moment. Scroll end credits.
FADE OUT.
The Real Heroes
Episode 2: Finding Evil Doers
Written by Michelle Hoogwoud
June 17th 2008
FADE IN:
INT. Head Quarters
The heroes play TWISTER. Cartridge spins and falls down. He stands on the side of the mat and watches the other three play the game. Cartridge looks sad and sighs.
CARTRIDGE
We need to actually get to work you
guys.
VOLLEYBOY
Whatever.
They continue to have fun on Twister. Cartridge stands with his arms crossed. In the distance the plastic phone RINGS and the camera zooms in on the phone. Everybody stops to stare at the phone.
GIZMO
WHAT?! But the phone NEVER rings!
CRAZYMIKALA
What do we do?
The phone rings again. Close-ups on individual roles begin as they are still on the Twister mat.
VOLLEYBOY
Do we have voicemail?
GIZMO
No.
The phone rings again.
CRAZYMIKALA
(screams)
Oh my God! Make it stop! Stop the
insanity!
GIZMO
(screams)
Doom is near!
Volleyboy screams in terror. End individual close-ups. The phone rings. The three heroes scream while still on the Twister mat. They keep screaming while Cartridge says th
e next line:
CARTRIDGE
(shouts at heroes)
What the hell you guys!
Cartridge answers the phone and the other heroes stop screaming.
CARTRIDGE
(to phone)
The Real Heroes. Cartridge speaking.
How do you need saving?
(pause)
Oh, ok. No problem.
Cartridge hangs up the phone.
GIZMO
Who was it?
CARTRIDGE
Wrong number.
[INSERT INTRO THEME]
White text on black when narrator speaks.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
In today’s episode, The Real Heroes
use the phonebook to find criminals.
INT. Head Quarters
Clip scenes
1. phonebook slammed on table
2. phonebook being opened
3. Cartridge’s finger pointing at a name.
4. Crazymikala looks over Cartridge’s shoulder
5. Zoom in on the name “Heeza Killhue.”
CRAZYMIKALA
Heeza Killhue?
VOLLEYBOY
Heeza definitely killhue!
GIZMO
Heeza gotta be a criminal.
CARTRIDGE
He has an evil name.
The other three heroes look unimpressed at Cartridge.
CARTRIDGE
What?
Cartridge dials the number into the plastic phone. The entire time Cartridge is on the phone, Gizmo brings out a case of water while walking towards VolleyBoy and CrazyMikala. This happens in the background.
CARTRIDGE
(to phone)
Hello, is this Heeza Killhue?
HEEZA (V.O.)
Yep.
CARTRIDGE
(to phone)
Criminal! We shall stop you and your
evil plans!
In the background, Gizmo, VolleyBoy, and CrazyMikala cheers/toast their bottles of water (or have it in champagne glasses).
HEEZA (V.O.)
I have no idea what you are talking
about.
CARTRIDGE
(to phone and yells)
Don’t play dumb with me boy!
HEEZA (V.O.)
Prank call someone else.
A click is heard through the phone and Cartridge is speechless.
CRAZYMIKALA
I want ice cream.
EXT. Ice Cream Shop – DAY
The Heroes are riding in the car/on bikes/some weird transportation. Video clips of them buying ice cream. Photo montage of them eating ice cream and having fun times
INT. Head Quarters
The heroes sit around and playing stella stella old or duck duck goose OR just skip to this next line:
GIZMO
(looking at phonebook)
Hey, Heeza’s address is listed.
White text on black when narrator speaks.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
And now the Real Heroes go to the
criminals house to stop him from
future criminalizing things.
EXT. Heeza’s house
The heroes stand outside the front door. Cartridge goes to ring the doorbell. Heeza opens the door.
CARTRIDGE
Hi, are you Heeza Killhue?
HEEZA
(looks confused)
Yeah, why?
Volleyboy then screams a battle cry and runs towards the front door. He runs past Heeza and goes into the house.
HEEZA
What the hell?
CARTRIDGE
Volleyboy!!
Everyone then runs into the house.
INT. Heeza’s house
Clips:
1. Volleyboy runs into a closet. Door SLAMS. Inside he screams in horror as a strobe light flashes at him.
2. CrazyMikala has nun chucks and then hits herself in the head. She falls over.
3. Gizmo is in the kitchen and raids the fridge.
4. Cartridge does karate chops and kicks and misses Heeza.
5. Volleyboy screams.
6. Cartridge is beaten up by Heeza.
7. CrazyMikala is on the ground crying. The nun chucks lay next to her.
8. Heeza takes the sandwich from Gizmo, and gizmo whimpers.
9. Cartridge reaches to grab a phone.
CARTRIDGE
9-1-1.. must call for h-help.
HEEZA
This is MY house! YOU invaded MY
house!
EXT. Heeza’s house
Heeza stands next to his front door.
HEEZA
(to police)
Get these weirdo’s outta here!
Clips:
1. police lights flashing
2. hands being cuffed
3. a police car driving away.
INT. POLICE CELL
The heroes are in the police cell.
GIZMO
We suck.
CRAZYMIKALA
I don’t.
VOLLEYBOY
(pushes crazymikala)
Why do you have to say that?!
Volleyboy and CrazyMikala push and shove and Cartridge sighs and puts his hands on his face. Gizmo plays with the rubix cube.
FADE OUT.
The Real Heroes
Episode 3:
Finding Heroes
By Michelle Hoogwoud
February 4th 2010
INT. BATHROOM
CARTRIDGE looks into the mirror combing his hair. The camera MOVES to the side to reveal CRAZYMIKALA in the mirror.
CRAZYMIKALA
Nice haircut.
[Insert Intro]
INT. HEADQUARTERS
Crazymikala reads a comic book. Cartridge enters the room.
CARTRIDGE
Where’s Gizmo?
CRAZYMIKALA
School.
CARTRIDGE
Volleyboy?
CRAZYMIKALA
Kidnapped
CARTRIDGE
Hmm… let’s recruit!
BLACK SCREEN with text:
NARRATOR
Today the Real Heroes put up audition
flyers looking for new heroes to help
with heroing things.
EXT. STREET – DAY
Crazymikala & Cartridge put up posters on posts. They high five each other.
EXT. SuperStore area parking lot – REALLY LATE @ NIGHT
Cartridge puts up the last flyer.
CARTRIDGE
There, that’s all of them.
CRAZYMIKALA
Great job Cartridge!
HOODED MAN in a mask, similar to the power rangers, jumps out and CACKLES. He RIPS the poster off the wall and runs.
CARTRIDGE
HEY!!
CRAZYMIKALA
Get him!!
They pursue after the man. Cartridge runs faster than Crazymikala and she falls behind.
The man stops, turns around, and sees Cartridge.
HOODED MAN
Hey.
Hooded Man charges towards Cartridge.
Cartridge screams like an 8 year old girl.
Cartridge turns around, and then passes Crazymikala.
CARTRIDGE
Run back! … Get to the headquarters!
Crazymikala yells out a shocked scream, and follows Cartridge.
Distance shot of them running and turning into an alley.
INT. HEADQUARTERS
The two wait near the phone.
CARTRIDGE
Someone will call.
BLACK SCREEN TEXT:
NARRATOR
Crazymikala pulls out important papers.
OFFICE
Crazymikala pulls out papers and straightens them on desk.
BLACK SCREEN TEXT:
NARRATOR