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from the Black Lagoon
The Black Lagoon
by Mike Thaler
Illustrated by Jared Lee
SCHOLASTIC INC.
THE
SCHOOL CARNIVAL
FROM THE
BLACK LAGOON
For little Laurel Dillon,
Welcome to the world!
—M.T.
To Kent and Jon, two clowns
—J.L.
All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright
Conventions. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted,
downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into
any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means,
whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without
the express written permission of the publisher. For information regarding
permission, write to Scholastic Inc., Attention: Permissions Department, 557
Broadway, New York, NY 10012.
e-ISBN 978-0-545-37578-8
Text copyright © 2005 by Mike Thaler.
Illustrations copyright © 2005 by Jared D. Lee Studio, Inc.
All rights reserved. Published by Scholastic Inc.
SCHOLASTIC and associated logos are trademarks and/ or registered
trademarks of Scholastic Inc.
First printing, October 2005
Contents
Chapter 1: A Booth, for Sooth . . . . . . . . .6
Chapter 2: A Fair to Remember . . . . . . . 9
Chapter 3: Unfair . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Chapter 4: Mirror, Mirror on the Wall . . 17
Chapter 5: The Better Mousetrap . . . . . 26
Chapter 6: Aqua-phobia! . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29
Chapter 7: Fair-weather Friends . . . . . . 37
Chapter 8: In the Swim . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Chapter 9: In the Hot Seat . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Chapter 10: The Slam Dunk . . . . . . . . . . 56
CHAPTER 1
A BOOTH, FOR SOOTH
Our school is having a
carnival. Mrs. Green says that
our class has to run a booth.
But what kind will it be?
She says it has to be lots of
fun, easy to run, and make a ton
of money! If we raise enough, we
can have a real, live author come
to our school. If we don’t, maybe
we could afford a not-so-alive
author.
6
7
Mrs. Green wants each of us to
bring an idea for a carnival booth
tomorrow. It is our homework
for tonight. I look around at the
whole class. Everyone has a
blank look—this should be very
interesting.
8
CHAPTER 2
A FAIR TO REMEMBER
On the bus ride home, we’re
deep in thought. We’re all pretty
fair-minded.
I think of all the fairs I’ve ever
been to . . . one. It was the County
Fair. It had a rodeo, and a bunch
of cowboys riding bulls. Maybe I
could put two horns on my dog,
Tailspin.
There was also a Ferris wheel.
Plus there were crazy rides,
cotton candy machines, corn-
dog stands, and lots more. I don’t
think my class can do any of that
stuff.
10
The fair organizers gave blue
ribbons to both the cows and the
cabbages. I know the difference
between them, but that’s about
all.
It’s going to be a long night of
homework.
11
CHAPTER 3
UNFAIR
When I get home, I watch a
video—My Fair Lady. It doesn’t
help much. Then I listen to the
weather report...fair with a chance
of showers. I’ve got fairs on the
brain. Train fares, plane fares, bus
fares, pharaohs, and good fairies.
12
I fall asleep watching a Ferris
wheel go around. Suddenly I’m
at a fair. I’m walking down the
midway. It has a lot of booths.
I walk up to one. It’s an alligator-
kissing booth. No thanks. At the
next booth, I get to slam-dunk an
elephant into a basketball hoop.
13
Then there’s a booth to bob
for piranhas. If you survive that,
you get to wrestle a bear. There
are also booths for throwing
marshmallows at balloons and for
floating feathers in milk bottles.
So far, I have not won anything.
14
Suddenly I’m in a gigantic fish
bowl. Kids are trying to win me.
They’re throwing ping-pong balls
that are bouncing all around. This
is not fun. So I climb out of the
bowl and go to buy a hotdog. But
it’s Tailspin in a bun.
15
Then I buy some cotton candy,
but it’s made of real cotton. I wake
up and see that I’m chewing on
my pillow.
16
CHAPTER 4
MIRROR, MIRROR ON
THE WALL . . .
On the school bus, everyone
is excited. I think that they all
have ideas, but no one’s telling.
They’re waiting for class.
“Alright,” says Mrs. Green. “Who
has an idea for our class booth?”
Ever
y hand shoots up. Penny
raises two.
“Do you have an idea, Penny?”
“A kissing booth!” puckers
Penny.
“YUCK! That won’t make too
much money,” says Eric. “And
besides, it’s unsanitary!”
17
Mrs. Green calls on Freddy.
“A bakery booth. I’ll bake a lot
of apple turnovers, and we’ll sell
them. We’ll have a fast turnover,”
jokes Freddy.
“Possible,” says Mrs. Green.
“Let’s have a cakewalk,” says
Derrick.
“Great,” says Freddy. “Then I’ll
bake a cake.”
18
Eric waves his hand. “I’ll get a
crystal ball and tell the future.”
“You can’t tell the future,”
sneers Doris.
“I knew you would say that,”
smiles Eric.
19
“What about a basketball
shoot?” says Randy.
“No way,” says Eric. “Those
fifth graders are too good, and
they’ll win all of our prizes.”
“We could shoot meatballs
instead,” says Freddy.
“Too messy,” I say. “What about
a dunking tank?”
There’s silence in the room.
Mrs. Green turns and writes all
the ideas on the board.
“Let’s vote,” she says.
The dunking tank idea wins
hands down—or hands up.
“But who will we dunk?” asks
Mrs. Green.
Everyone looks at her.
“No way!” says Mrs. Green.
Then everyone looks at me.
“I catch colds so easily,” I
announce. “What about dunking
doughnuts?”
“I could bake the doughnuts,”
says Freddy.
“It was your idea,” says Penny.
“Scared?” sneers Eric.
23
I notice that everyone’s staring
at me.
“Me scared?” I squeak. “Not a
chance.”
“Then you will do it,” says
Eric.
“On one condition,” I say.
“What’s that?” asks Mrs.
Green.
“You have to use ping-pong
balls,” I say with a smile.
“OK,” says Mrs. Green. “Let’s
get to work.”
24
25
CHAPTER 5
THE BETTER
MOUSETRAP
The whole class pitches in
and starts building the dunking
booth. It’s a lot of fun!
We get a plastic pool and fill it
with water. So far, so good. We
attach a chair to a hinged platform
held up by a stick. Then we tie a
cord around the stick and attach
the other end to the spring of a
mousetrap. Bingo!
26
We hit the trap. The spring
snaps forward. It jerks the rope
that pulls the stick, which drops
the platform, and whoever is
sitting in the chair falls into the
water. Splash!
27
Hey, that’ll be me. I’ll be
dropping into the water. Oh,
me and my bright ideas! I don’t
even know how to swim. I better
learn . . . fast.
28
CHAPTER 6
AQUA-PHOBIA!
I’ve always been afraid of the
water. I’d rather stand on land
than sink in the drink. It’s fine for
fish, but it’s not my wish. But now,
I have to learn how to swim.
29
My mom signs me up and takes
me down to the public swimming
pool. It’s big! And it’s full of water!
It’s six feet deep. Maybe I should
go home and grow. I’ll come back
when I’m eight feet tall.
30
A nice lady comes over. She’s
got a whistle and a clipboard.
“I’m Miss Titanic, your swim
instructor,” she says.
“I want to miss this Titanic,” I
mutter.
“What?” she asks.
“Uh, nice to meet you, Miss
Titanic,” I reply.
31
“You must be Hubie,” she says
with a smile.
“Do I have to be?” I answer.
“You’re right on time for your
lesson,” she says, checking her
clipboard.
“Can I wait a couple of years?”
I ask.
“Are we a little afraid of the
water?” she laughs.
“Not if it’s in a cup,” I say.
“Just pretend that the pool is a
big cup,” she replies.
“I’m not that thirsty,” I say, as
she puts water wings on each of
my arms.
32
“Let’s start off in the shallow
end,” she says, taking my hand.
“Any puddle is fine,” I say.
“Come on, Hubie.” She leads
me down the steps into the pool.
The water is very wet.
33
“Now duck, Hubie,” she says.
“Quack, quack.”
“No. Duck down,” she laughs.
I shut my eyes, hold my breath,
and duck down.
Phew! Waaaf! Schlurp!
“Now was that so bad?” she
asks.
“Actually, it wasn’t,” I sigh.
34
“Now duck and open your eyes
under the water.”
“My eyeballs will drown,” I
protest.
“No, they won’t. First, take a
deep breath and hold it.”
35
I keep my eyes open and they
don’t drown. I can actually see
underwater. Maybe I have X-ray
vision. I feel like a superhero...
POOLMAN!
Anyway, in my first lesson I also
learn to float. I’m a good floater.
Maybe one day I can win an
Olympic gold medal in floating.
But more important, I’m almost
ready for the carnival.
36
CHAPTER 7
FAIR-WEATHER
FRIENDS
The whole school yard is alive
with activity. Each class is putting
up a booth. There’s a ring toss, a
baseball pitch, a basketball throw,
a Frisbee fling, a tiddlywinks flip,
and a lob the blob. There’s even
a turtle race. Why didn’t I think
of that?
37
There’s a wheel of fortune, a
fortune-teller, and a telescope.
You can see the future for a dollar,
or the full moon for fifty cents, or
a quarter moon for a quarter.
38
There’s going to be a pie-eating
contest. Freddy will probably
win that. There’s also a jelly bean
contest. If you guess the number
of jelly beans in a big jar, you can
win a pair of Rollerblades.
39
“Every boo
th has a name,” says
Mrs. Green. “So what’s the name
of ours?”
“What about Dip the Drip?”
replies Penny.
The rest of the class keeps on
yelling out names.
“Spill the Pill,” giggles Doris.
“Wet the Pet,” grins Randy.
“Drown the Clown,” laughs
Derrick.
“Hey, that’s me you’re talking
about!” I shout.
40
41
“What about Dunk the Skunk!”
laughs Freddy.
“Hey!” I say.
“Dunk the Punk!” they all shout
out together.
“I have it,” I say, putting on my
water wings and flexing my arms.
“What about Dunk the Hunk!”
42
CHAPTER 8
IN THE SWIM
Well, it’s Friday. The carnival
is tonight. Are people that go
to carnivals called carnivores?
Everyone’s very excited to see
the Daredevil Diver. That’s me.
But it’s more like the Dubious
Diver.
43
44
I must admit that I’m getting
cold feet. It could be very chilly
tonight. The water could be
freezing. I could get hypo-thermos
or frostbite.
I go into the principal’s office
and ask Mr. Bender if he’ll sit
in for me. He says that he won’t
because at the County Fair he
got hit with a pie during a charity
event.
45
For the rest of the day, kids are
wisecracking jokes at me.
“Taking the big plunge tonight,
eh, Hubie?”
“You’ll be a titanic success,”