Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
So what’s this all about?
Coming back to your own bed after a long trip
Sneaking cheaper candy into the movie theater
Stomping dry crunchy leaves on the sidewalk
Finally getting that tiny piece of popcorn out of your teeth
Peeling that sticky glue off the back of your new credit card
The Kids Table
When batteries are included
When it feels like the lyrics to the song you’re listening to were written just ...
Correctly guessing if the door is push or pull
When a cop finally passes you after driving behind you for a while
When you learn a new word and then suddenly start seeing it everywhere
When the dog’s really excited you’re back home
Dancing when you’re home alone
Getting tucked in
The sound of a solid crack from a good break in billiards
When a baby falls asleep on you
Giant morning stretches accompanied by stupid noises
Glue movies
Watching cream go into coffee
When the hiccups stop
Finding something you lost a long time ago after you already gave up looking ...
Riding home with a box of pizza on your lap
Picking the fastest – moving line at the grocery store checkout
Getting a hug from someone you didn’t know you were in a hug relationship with
That one person who laughs when you tell a really bad joke
Letting go of the gas pump perfectly so you end on a round number
Finding a parking spot right at the front of the mall just before Christmas
Getting through right away when you call a big company
Eating the last piece of anything
Slowing down
Taking your high heels off at the end of the night and walking home in bare feet
When you suddenly remember it’s a long weekend
When two cookies melt together in the oven
Elementary school science fairs
The moment after you wake up from a nightmare and suddenly realize it was all ...
Pain
The smell of an old hardware store
Putting on your most flattering pair of pants
That guy who helps you parallel park
Peeling your socks off under the sheets
Napping with somebody else
Getting a stuck ball out of somewhere by using another ball
Seeing a license plate from home when you’re somewhere really far away
The moment on vacation when you forget what day of the week it is
Hanging out with your mom
When the person you’re meeting is even later than you are
Riding your bike really late at night when the streets are completely empty
Dropping your cell phone on the sidewalk and then realizing it’s totally fine
When a big chunk of earwax randomly falls out of your ear
Finally realizing where you know someone from after staring at them forever
When the houseguest leaves
Placing the last piece of the puzzle
When you know someone well enough to go in their fridge without asking
When you finish your milkshake and then remember there’s more in that stainless ...
Emptying the recycling bin on your computer
Waking up to the smell of sizzling bacon
Jumping as many stairs as possible
Screaming at characters in movies to do things
When your friends working in fast-food restaurants give you a little extra
Wearing what you just bought out of the store
Finally peeing after holding it forever
The night before a really big day
Finding the perfect patch of grass to sit on at the park
When you hit the point where you’re comfortable farting around each other
Walking into class and seeing a substitute teacher
Fully justifying whatever terrible thing you’re eating
When you get the scissors at that perfect angle where it slices through ...
Becoming a regular somewhere
When a friend starts randomly giving you a massage
Walking around naked when you’re home alone
Anything on tap
When you sneeze and a stranger says bless you
Rubbing someone’s newly shaved head
Looking at how much dirt came off something you just cleaned
Changing the channel during a commercial break and then flipping back just as ...
When you meet up with a group of friends and they stop talking to celebrate ...
Typing in your username and password at the speed of light
Finding hidden compartments in things you already own
Getting your guests to help you move something really heavy
When the plane suddenly speeds up on the runway
The sound of barely frozen puddles cracking when you step on them
When someone compliments your new haircut
Using any item within reach to help grab the remote control so you don’t have ...
The first couple hours of the road trip
When the phone rings and it’s somebody you were just thinking about
Moving indoor furniture outdoors
When your fries order has a few onion rings stashed in the mix
The Big Night Nap
Hilarious last-minute Halloween costumes
When company events are scheduled on company time
Good escalator etiquette
Kicking those clumps of frozen slush off the back of your car’s mud flaps
Your Almost Name
Getting the keys to your first apartment
The sound of airplane toilet flushes
Actually pointing out a constellation in outer space
Whipping down the hill really fast on your bike after pedaling hard all the way up
Watching a movie in the basement with a group of friends
Your tongue
When your friend makes sure you get into the house safe after dropping you off ...
Accidentally doing something really good in sports
Tuning the radio station perfectly so there’s absolutely no static
Waking up really thirsty in the morning and finding a glass of water within reach
The sound of steaks hitting a hot grill
Eating the crusts of the sandwich first to save the middle part for last
Sneezing three or more times in a row
The smell of Play – Doh
Junk drawers
Hot cream and a straight razor on your neck at the barbershop
Stumbling on an elusive rerun of your favorite TV show
When you open a book to the exact page you were looking for
Catching food in your mouth
Making it halfway
Realizing you still remember your childhood friend’s phone number
Laughing so hard you start crying
Wearing your favorite pair of underwear and nobody knows
Any food that requires Wet-Naps and a stack of napkins to eat
When your windshield wipers match the beat of the song you’re listening to
Sitting on your freshly made bed and admiring your work after cleaning your room
Eating cookies like Cookie Monster
When a work friend becomes an outside-of-work friend
Running to the door when your mom or dad comes home from work
Wearing a sweatshirt that hasn’t been washed yet
Experiencing déjà vu
Tossing garbage in the trash can from far away
Experiencing déjà vu
Taking your ponytail out
Learning a new keyboard shortcut
Figuring out a tricky plot twist just before they reveal it
Getting shotgun on a long car ride
That smooth feeling on your teeth after you get your braces off
That one email account you use for all your spam
Drawing on steamy mirrors with your fingers
Eating anything from your own garden
Seeing shapes in the clouds
Long, comfortable silences between really close friends
Going on a field trip in elementary school
The moment on a roller coaster when you get to the top of the big hill and ...
When that social event you didn’t want to go to gets canceled
Rocking out on air instruments
Doing anything that makes you feel like a caveman
That teacher
When somebody holds the elevator door for you
Setting the new high score on a video game
Taking a spin on a shopping cart
Slurping hot soup on a cold night
Turning off all the lights during a thunderstorm
The Perfect Egg Crack
Curling up into the fetal position
Old, classic board games
When the bubbles in your drink go right to the top but not over
When your ears pop back to normal after swimming
That old Take a Penny, Leave a Penny bowl on the store counter
When someone saves you a seat
The sound of water lapping against a dock
When the delivery food you ordered somehow arrives really early
Acrobatic snoozing
Eating foods you loved as a kid
Calling a mulligan on the day
Finally getting the perfect picture
Fat baseball players
Watching something download really fast
A really cold drink on a really hot day
Seeing old people holding hands
Seeing a really happy dog out for a walk
Eating the ice cream stuck to the lid of the carton
Getting the armrest at the movie theater
Glass
When you actually manage to split the group restaurant bill to everyone’s satisfaction
A perfect squeegee job at the gas station
Fitting every last thing in the dishwasher
When the guy at the deli counter gives you a free taste
When you went to the gym yesterday
Riding on someone’s shoulders when you were a kid
That clicking sound of winding anything up
Picking up something that turns out to be a lot lighter than you expected
The last couple hours before the weekend
Correctly guessing the actor voicing the animated movie character
Dropping a glass and then sticking your foot out so it hits your foot and ...
Running for the bus or train and actually catching it
When you drive from a rough road onto a smooth one
Reuniting a sock from the Sock Orphanage Drawer with its freshly washed ...
When your roommate goes away for the weekend
When your laptop or cell phone is just about to die but you manage to run and ...
Puppy breath
Carrying all the grocery bags in from the car in one giant trip
When you fold a piece of paper so it fits in the envelope perfectly
When you’re washing the car and it’s hose time
When a stranger walks by and offers to take a picture of you and the person ...
Vacuuming a dirty carpet and hearing all those tiny rocks go through the hose
Walking or riding your bike faster than cars sitting in traffic
The extra time you get when the clocks roll back
When someone holds your keys and wallet in their purse
That feeling in your stomach when you go really high on the swings
Flavor pockets
The sound of snow crunching under your boots
Taking a break from shaving
Getting the last piece of sleep out of your eye
Picking things up with your feet
Interspecies action – figure wars
When you go out for lunch and come back to a way better parking spot
When the free bread they bring you at the restaurant is warm
Taking off your glasses or contact lenses after a long day
The moment at a concert when the crowd figures out what song they’re playing
That one car that randomly travels with you on the highway for a really long time
An inbox of personal emails when you wake up in the morning
Passing under a bridge on the highway when it’s pouring rain
Finding treasures in your spring jacket pocket
Pulling a weed and getting all the roots with it
Driving over a small hill in your car
The moment of anticipation before the first kiss
Staying up past your bedtime when you were a kid
Those rare moments when you’re the only person on the beach
When your roommate cleans the place while you’re away
That moment in a shower when you decide to make it a really long shower
Looking at the clock and seeing that it’s 12:34
Tips
Driving around with the windows down on late summer nights
Do Nothing Days
A good turnout on your birthday
The Airport Pickup
When your pet notices you’re in a bad mood and comes to see you
Appreciating the beauty of all your body’s scars and scratches
Getting to the light at the end of the tunnel
Acknowledgements
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
My Awesome Things
WHAT’S YOUR AWESOME THING?
Praise for Neil Pasricha and The Book of Awesome
“Toe-curling, hug-inducing, blanket-snuggling AWESOME.”
—Youngme Moon, author of Different, professor of business administration and associate dean, Harvard Business School
“Pasricha emerges a committed but inviting optimist, combating life’s unending stream of bad news by identifying opportunities to share a universal high-five with humanity.”
—Publishers Weekly
“Celebrates and honors the little joys of life!”
—USA Today
“It’s nice to remind yourself of life’s sweeter side and the pleasures to be had from the small things—like peeling the thin plastic film off new electronic gadgets or sneaking your own cheap snacks into the cinemas. Life really is awesome after all.”
—The Guardian
“Laugh out loud. You feel like you’ve thought of these things a thousand times but just haven’t stopped to write them down.”—BBC South America
“Reading your blog always brings a smile to my face & I feel like I am talking to you.”
—E-mail from the author’s mother
“Laugh out loud funny tinged with just enough sarcastic nostalgia.”
—Wired magazine
AMY EINHORN BOOKS
Published by G. P. Putnam’s Sons a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
New York
AMY EINHORN BOOKS
Published by G. P. Putnam’s Sons
Publishers Since 1838
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.) · Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England · Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dubli
n 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd) · Penguin Group (Australia), 250 Camberwell Road, Camberwell, Victoria 3124, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd) · Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi – 110 017, India · Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, North Shore 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd) · Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty) Ltd, 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196, South Africa
Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Copyright © 2011 by Neil Pasricha
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions. Published simultaneously in Canada
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Pasricha, Neil.
The book of (even more) awesome / Neil Pasricha. p. cm.
Summary: “The second book of awesome things by internationally best-selling author Neil Pasricha”—provided by publisher.
eISBN : 978-1-101-51422-1
1. Conduct of life—Humor. I. Title.
PN6231.C6142P
808’.607—dc22
All photos by Sam Javanrouh (dailydoseofimagery.com) with the exception of “Napping with somebody else” by Jenny Rigby, “Waking up to the smell of sizzling bacon” by Rich Gidvilas, “Realizing you still remember your childhood friend’s phone number” by Meghan Hughes, “Finally getting the perfect picture” by Natalie Mazzarelli, “That feeling in your stomach when you go really high on the swings” by Jeremy Marr, and “The sound of snow crunching under your boots” by Connie Tsang. Thanks to all of them for their beautiful images.
While the author has made every effort to provide accurate telephone numbers and Internet addresses at the time of publication, neither the publisher nor the author assumes any responsibility for errors, or for changes that occur after publication. Further, the publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Hoping and thinking and dreaming and playing and being and living and loving.