THE MONSOON SEASON
by Nobo13
Copyright 2011 Nobo13
*****
Smashwaords Edition License Notes
The Monsoon Season
By Nobo13
White lies
White lies
Shining bright as any star in the night sky
As I gaze on through your smile
Star crossed lovers
Walking away from each other for the last time
As echoes of a love that had been ripple on
I've said so many things
That even I cannot tell you the whole truth of it
As I dye my words a darker shade of grey
And as morning arrives
I see the harsh reality of it all unfolding before me
That my love was nothing more than a phantom
Like a shadow
Hiding foolishly behind this tiny heart of mine
Telling me nothing but sweet little white lies
Teardrop
Within a teardrop
I learnt the burden of love
So heavy but small
Death poem
Bury my body
Not your memories of me
There I’m still alive
Dull skies
Among the hustle
I came to realise silence
~ Wonderful days lost
Somebody please…
Somebody please show me the light
I have been in the dark so long I sold my eyes
Somebody please give me some might
I have been alone so long I made my heart's demise
Somebody please shout out my name
I have been in silence so long I ripped off my ears
Somebody please take away my shame
I have been left in the dark for years and years
Somebody please tell me my name
I have been isolated so long I have forgotten
Somebody please return my flame
I have been crying so long I have become rotten
Somebody please give me some love
I’ve been hating for so long I cannot remember
Somebody please find me someone to love
I have been cold for so long my love is but an ember
Somebody please, somebody please
Can you hear my voice?
Somebody please, give me some ease
So that I may rejoice
Stubborn stains
This morning I walked into my heart to empty my wardrobe
Of all my wasted dreams that had gathered dust
And among all those clothes were stubborn stains
That reminded me immediately of you
Among a myriad of stars those stains would strobe
A nostalgic light that followed a warm gust
That easily awoke my memories bond by heavy chains
Taking me back to the time of just us two
You kept me going, kept me straying from the light
You'd hold my hand in the most tragic of times
And breathe softly words that had no weight but moved me
You were my happiness, my world, my light and day
But elsewhere needed you, it took you away in the night
Faster than my tears could fall, hitting the ground like chimes
But somehow you knew our time together wasn't a guarantee
And you left these stains, knowing they would stay
Again, you've gone beyond and reminded me of common happiness
With simply a red stain, you've held my hand tighter than ever
I've dusted my dreams off, and place them back inside
That is where they belong, with you always by their side
Wherever you are,
As you stare at the stars
Has my words reached you?
You're gone but your stains remain,
Softly I say to them
"Thank you,
I love you"
How much can I sow?
Take my life and lay it in front of you
Take each little piece and stare
Each memory a shade of blue
With no one in sight to care
And as you stare, you will see
That it continues on, seemingly endless
These pieces of blue that are to be
I wish to stop and be moving less
All I ever wanted was an end
To know how far I could go
All I ever wanted to know my friend
Is how much I could sow?
Echoes
As I wander round
I see echoes, not people,
Of someone I knew
A smile ripples
Long forgotten memories
Of someone I loved
Day and night repeat
As I try to remember
Someone I forgot
Echoes ripple on
As I cry not knowing why
There isn't ‘someone...’
That someone I loved
That someone I forgotten
That someone is gone...
Forever an echo to me... echoing on.
You have the last laugh
You would be the beautiful night sky
If your tears were twinkling stars
But each drop is filled with bluest sadness
That makes me feel contempt at fate
For I know no one else who shoulders more
Than your share of life's fondest miseries
Only the irony of you always smiling
Stabs my heart more than any real knife could
Yet nothing torments my soul more
Than these useless hands of mine
That can never reach you, no matter what
Yet, brittle as they are, I reach out
Your tears rusting these harsh feelings
Allowing a smile to crack through
A simper made and meant for you
Look how far I got without you
Look how far I got without you
See how I walked away from you that day
I've seen turtles dance, done even more
Than you ever said I could do
I'm such an amazing person now
Yet...
All I do is look back to the past
Turning around to see that day
I'm always comparing everything
To when I left, saying how far I am
But all I ever wanted was
For you to be close to me
Look how far I got without you
Look how sad I am
Look how much farther I could go with you
If only I didn't get this distant from you
My hands can't reach that far
Holding nothing but the moonlight
As I wander further into the dark
Always telling myself
"Look how far I got without you"
Goodbye my Gardener
Without knowing it
I became a gardener
Sowing little seeds
There exist something
So beautiful in this world
That it breaks your heart
Inside everyone
Is a flower called 'Goodbye'
Waiting to blossom
Without knowing it
I had watered your flower
With all my feelings
Until it matured
Into tear coloured petals
Simply called "Farewell"
And that's when I knew
You had been my gardener
Taking care of me
Watering my seeds
With all your feelings of love
Into f
inally…
“…Goodbye”
These tiny pieces of mine
Just sitting down to think aloud
Of memories that make me sad and proud
Of people, where are they now, what are they doing?
And last of me, where am I going?
These tiny pieces of mine
My hand is shaking
I'm sad, but I'll be fine
Together, this future we're making
Tiny things stir my heart around
Makes my heart beat a thundering sound
Of all of my tiny pieces, that shine
Yours is the one that makes me divine
These tiny pieces of mine
Look how they laugh and cry
Everything is ok, it is in line
Though I may stop right now and die
And when we are old and crooked
So many pieces lost and hooked
It means all the more for our minds
Our whispers lost on the winds
These tiny pieces of mine
They are bigger than me after all
Everything is dark, I don't think I'm fine
And now my tiny pieces fall
Friends, family, pets, and sacred secret things
That shines, beeps, sings, and swings
All that that which makes me happiest
These tiny pieces of mine are the best
These tiny pieces of mine
They are long lost and forgotten
These tiny pieces of mine
My heart without them, becomes rotten
These tiny pieces of mine…
These tiny pieces of mine…
No one to kiss me goodnight
Dressed in an armour
To hide myself among wolves
I leave my Mother's hand
And venture forward without looking back
Any tears that flow
I store in my heart for later
What pains that may come
I treasure them within a crooked smile
And soon I am home
Safe and sound while night drops
Mother kisses me goodnight
And I drift away one more time for today
But soon the armour is irreplaceable
I never take it off
Those wolves' words leave my mouth
Shouting and growling!
I bite my mother's hand
A tiny drop
Leaves
Her eyes as she submits before me
Blind with
Power I carry on without her
What a fool I have become
A little lamb roaring into the night
On and on...
Away and lost...
And soon the armour breaks
Leaving me naked, alone
With tears I saved up
And pains behind a fake smile
And no one is left
To kiss goodnight
This scared little lamb
Pretending to be a wolf...
Her reply
We stood together one last time
At the station waiting for the train
The cold air showed me your breath
As I stood closer than usual
This would the last time we will meet
The last ever chance
In a foolish instant and turned to you
And told you how I felt
In the time it took
To say those three words
Your train came speeding past
Blowing steam as it stopped
I stood there in despair
As I watched my words
Like a paper airplane
Drop to the cold ground
My words never to reach you
They were lost forever
I could never tell you
How I truly loved you
You rushed to check your things
You hopped on board
As you asked if I said anything
I sigh with a smile
And said "Nothing at all"
I stare as the doors close
The bell signals departure
I smile weakly as she waves goodbye
And in the glow of the train light
I heard her reply
White out
A tiny shape
That was a town
Can be seen here
Hidden under
A thick snow fall
That left everything
Bare
Fond memories
Are also there...
Under another kind of snow
One that has settled
In a long Winter
Deep inside of me
A barren land
Still and silent
Stirring no one's
Heart
Lost under snow
I rove about
Not sure of what I may have lost
Not sure If I knew the way back
In this white out
Condensation on my memories
A white sky greets me as I stir awake
From a dream or a memory that's fake
Cold from the sudden loss of my cover
A wet dew slowly condenses over
My memories of you, those happy times
Those thoughts hover over me and my crimes
Barely forgotten but blurry for good
I try to remember all that I could
~ My feelings for you haven't changed a bit
~ It's this thick dew that stops it to transmit
No me, no you
I met someone who said death was his second fear
I asked what was the first and he replied ‘life’
I asked why he was crying and to me he replied
"So I don't forget the important things to me"
He seemed in pain so I asked why carry on living?
He replied, "It's all I have" with a trembling voice
His eyes were dark with sorrow so I asked why he was sad
He simply shook his head and replied I would understand one day
I didn't, and I hope I will someday, I said goodbye
Goodbye to the person in the mirror
Because you know best
Had you said goodbye
Along with I love you then
I might have moved on
Had I not loved you
I could have forgotten you
I wouldn't be sad
Because you're gone now
Without saying a goodbye
Without an ending
I carry on cold
Not loving anyone else
Only loving you
Living in the past
Not wanting to forget you
But still trying to
Because you know best
I trusted you with my heart
Knowing it was safe
Because you know best
I believed you wouldn't die
How silly of me
I'm waiting for you
You who is longer here
Waiting to move on
Because you know best…
I keep telling myself this
Believing it still
Today, tomorrow and yesterday
Today will change your life
But Tomorrow doesn't want you to know
Yesterday is your wisdom
But Today will make you a fool
Tomorrow has your dreams
But Today always tries to steal them
We continue on
Wanting to be more than Yesterday
When we have regrets
We want Yesterday to be Tomorrow
When we are sad
We want Tomorrow not to come
But above all else
We want Today to go as we want
I had lost it in a single tear
I had loved someone
So long
ago
Loving them one-sidedly
Until my feelings broke
In a single tear
I had lost it all
All of my love fitted
Along with some salt
Inside a single drop
That continues to fall
Till this very day
Six feet from heaven
And I got on the elevator,
Only to have my heart stolen,
She pressed the 20th floor,
So I pressed the one above,
The hum of motors
Making our potential stronger
Was a choir of cupids to me,
As I stared through the corner of my eye,
To that angel returning home
I felt harmony for the first time
And at six feet from heaven I realised
How I loved her so dearly
To love someone so passionately
And not have a place in their hearts
It is like saying you're hungry
To a keeled over starving child
I see love grant the wishes of everyone else
Yet give me only bitterness and hate
I'm tired of being alone
Petrified of when the elevator will stop
But it comes so normally
As I watch her leave
Not even giving me a thought
She never showed me her face
Never showed me her smile
And in the end
I descend down to purgatory
Six feet from heaven
Is the most I could manage
Was the most my love could climb
And in the end
I didn't need your name
Because you won't call for me
Because you won't answer my call
So I smile on my elevator
My tears fall back down to earth
Taking my love with it
Hope
I've been walking on the straight path,
But the ground fell before someone's wrath,