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    The Flip Side & The Funny Side

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      After the conflagration

      Villagers came to stare

      At the grave of an ancient nation

      That nobody knew was there.

      In time they gathered the metal

      Strewn over Michael’s soil,

      Learned how to work and fettle

      For tool and girder and coil.

      And metal became a token,

      Contending came with the skill.

      Ambition and fear were woken.

      Their future awaits them still ...

      Forward to Index

      VISITING TIME

      I wandered, lonely as a cloud

      Of smoke outside a cancer ward

      Where cigarettes are not allowed,

      And wondered where the drugs were stored.

      Inside that safe? Behind this door?

      I’d never cased the joint before.

      I sauntered through the coffee shop,

      Down disinfected corridors,

      On past the sluices, man with mop

      (I wonder if he ever scores)

      Averted gaze from turning heads

      In rows of most un-private beds.

      At last I found the pharmacy.

      “Hallo my love!” the lady smiled.

      “Who is it that you’ve come to see?

      Your Mum? Your Dad? Another child?”

      Behind her, stacked on every shelf

      The stash I needed for myself -

      Barbiturates, and methadone,

      And other stuff that I could sell.

      (I couldn’t pull this job alone;

      I’d have to bring a mate as well.)

      I would impress her. I’m no fool!

      “I’m learning medicine at school.

      I’ve done the body, done the brain;

      I’ve started on prescribing now.

      I really need your help to train -

      Miss said the doctors would allow

      Me in your store to make a list

      So I can be a specialist.”

      I don’t know why she rang the bell

      Or why the docs and coppers came.

      My spiel was going really well

      Until she asked me for my name.

      At dawn they raided my old crowd...

      I wander lonely in my cloud.

      Forward to Index

      A LOVER’S PASSYONATTE REPLYE

      ( a metaphysickal sonet)

      Whereas two appels sittynge on a gait

      Do mounch eache othere, and do slyly mait,

      Do I oft wyshe thatt wee more often coulde;

      And synce wee cannot, I am verry wood.

      I looke upp att the Moone; shee ful wel knowes,

      Thy beauteous forme to mee shee sholde disclose,

      And I sholde drynke the honey of thyne eyen,

      And lie wyth thee, and mak thee wholly myne;

      But synce the dayes must Tortoys-lyk crawle bye,

      And nott lyk swyfte swallowës y-flye,

      Onn theyre harde bak moste paciount I must ryde,

      My wyngës clipt, my povre tong y-tyed;

      And wyth the swallowes sende my litel verse,

      And numbely wate for thee upon myne erse.

      Forward to Index

      EVER-DECREASING CIRCLES...

      Though I can be nobody else but me,

      If I were not myself, how would it be?...

      Myself would serve the soul of someone other -

      Not me - and I myself would rule another!

      Yet if I occupied this other I,

      I still would wonder how and where and why

      This other person lived who wasn’t me ...

      And so run on in circles endlessly!

      There is some consolation in the thought

      That someone somewhere equally is fraught

      With puzzlement - since he alone is he,

      Then how on earth can someone else be me???

      Forward to Index

      REDISCOVERING RABBIT WEEK

      Does he think?

      Too small to be real, bearing

      A marked resemblance to the trousered rabbit;

      Apparently knitted,

      The only clear distinction between him and the thing

      With which he holds communion

      Being

      The cap of golden fuzz over the ears

      And definitely fingers.

      Rabbit is an artifact, however.

      Verily knitted.

      Rabbit, flung, sprawls

      Uncomplaining.

      Rabbit chewed

      Is mercifully bloodless;

      Rabbit,

      Inspected and abused, deserves

      A medal for patience.

      As for the other

      Small cuniculomorph,

      Agent of these ritual indignities

      And muttered spells,

      There is more behind the

      Blue-bead eyes than bears question,

      Far more than old nylon stockings and foam chips,

      There is (and wonder at it)

      Sufficient

      Unto itself and still enough to spare

      Of magic mind

      Wherewith to gaze life into his woollen ally

      So I could swear

      The beast reciprocates the stare.

      - And does he think??

      Forward to Index

      Head of TV Drama’s New Year Sonnet

      To The Editor

      Radio Times

      80, Wood Lane

      London

      W12 0TT

      November 16th 1996

      I promise to announce the start

      At the beginning, and not part-

      Way through the hour’s dramatic art.

      I promise not to wreck the plot,

      Parading its climactic shot

      For weeks in every trailer slot.

      I promise not to fray the nerves

      Of those the Corporation serves

      By throwing fancy camera curves.

      I promise not to over-run,

      Delaying what should have begun,

      Spoiling the nation’s video fun;

      And promise - after the Star’s Wardrobe and Stunts -

      To credit the catchy theme music for once!

      (2017, 20+ years on, and nothing has changed.

      Surprise, surprise.)

      Forward to Index

      SARSAPARILLA

      My husband had to come to see

      How Pendle was - but minus me -

      And here acquired the pleasant habit

      Of sucking a Sarsaparilla Tablet.

      A friendly, enterprising chap,

      He dropped two packets in my lap

      On his return, and watched my face

      For signs of pleasure or grimace.

      To cut a happy story short,

      We soon were through the few he bought.

      It will be miles and months before

      We come back North and buy some more!

      So, could you post to us in Kent

      Enough to meet the cheque I’ve sent?...

      To last till Pendle calls again?

      Yours sincerely,

      Pamela Crane.

      Forward to Index

      PAINTWORK

      Cradled in the Mayor's Arms

      So many happy years,

      We knew our Dulux Weathershield

      (Affordable - we're not well-heeled!)

      Would last; but now the paint has peeled

      As the Millennium nears.

      It held the Hurricane at bay,

      It shimmered through the Drought,

      But lorries pounding through the night

      Shake wall and window, southern light

      Has bleached the blue and aged the white

      And cracks are opening out.

      Friends and strangers come to share

      A sanctuary here;

      Their welcome needs a shining door,

      Bright windows to the bedrooms four

      Whatever storms we have in store,

      To shelter and to
    cheer!

      Forward to Index

      MANALYSIS

      Obsessed and upset by the inexplicable fact,

      We live - a yellow sun between two darknesses

      That shadow and touch it with something infinite there,

      An Always inescapable where something precious is;

      But hidden under Time.

      Oppressed and beset by the inner splitting of fact

      We give a narrow - unforeseen though hardness is -

      And shadowy muchness of nothing definite there,

      An all-ways inextricable and clumsy preciousness

      That isn't worth a dime.

      ( A bit of fun to rhyme!)

      Forward to Index

      SELF-SUFFICIENT

      Shouting between islands

      How Are You

      Signalling from peak to higher peak

      I Love You - whensoever the mist may clear -

      Shaking hands

      with a fellow briefly in a passing plane

      Able to speak

      to you

      on several wavebands

      Happy Birthday Dear

      Taking a turn as compère of the week

      I say again

      I wish you happiness in your sea-girt

      sanctuary

      wiping guano and turtle-dirt

      away from Beethoven and Vera Lynn

      with plenty

      of reasonably clean

      sand to bury

      your head in

      I hope you enjoy

      your cave

      No doubt you will employ

      a great deal of native ingenuity

      in making the most of such an opportunity

      to Save

      Have fun

      among the birds, up in the Seventh Heaven

      and give my regards

      to Angels Eleven

      You won’t fall down;

      the fuels you will need are only words

      and a front seat in the Sun -

      Hot Air

      will keep you there

      Safe out of real touch real sight real sound

      Tucked away in a high womb

      you deeply care

      for the lack of loving-room

      responsibly and gratefully aware

      of Us who wave and wonder from the ground

      with whom you share

      astounding

      Wisdom

      over the air

      We love you

      Yes we listen

      avidly to Number One for his Opinion

      amid the static …

      Bones wither away under the skin

      a soul begins to

      feel

      The cold and comes down out of the attic

      to make up on the missing

      Joie de Vivre Hot Pants Passion

      emphatic

      communiqués press handouts Lone Yachtsman kissing

      Miss Erotic Plastic

      Nineteen-thing

      fell flat

      we walk straight through

      you we never notice you we know you

      were never real

      Visiting gods are inconceivable

      and in Spring

      hermits are out of fashion

      Forward to Index

      ARMAGEDDON

      The day the moon fell

      Music screamed up a nerve in the world

      The robins crowed like cockerels

      And the wind blew all the air away

      The day the moon fell

      Ice cracked the face of the sun

      There were blue strawberries

      And a rampant worm bit a sparrow in half

      The day the moon fell

      Love and hate collided and blew up

      The last Pope ran for Parliament

      And God met the funny side of hell

      Forward to Index

      ROMANUS ROMANO

      O come to the shade

      Of the cool colonnade -

      Don't bother with vestimenta!

      What use is a tunic

      To Roman or Punic?

      This is the community centre!

      Vel Gallic, vel Grecian

      Your friend Diocletian

      Invites you to bathe at your leisure.

      It's such fun to swim in

      (As well as the women!)

      The scenery promises pleasure

      Diverting to play with;

      And you have a way with

      The ladies that seems to amuse them.

      So let's make a foursome.

      Ointment? I'd adore some!

      But never mind clothes - we don't use them.

      Forward to Index

      ON THE BRINK

      ... to breathe this element of muted sound

      and think only the things that fishes do ...!

      … I, squat on the parapet, look down.

      My mind, lapped in that weed-lucent brown

      Mapping the mossy under-arch with light

      hereunder shimmering ... lean over! Look!

      See? Touch it! (Not too far. Don't fall.

      Not yet.) Trickery, you see. The bright

      thing, like all wind-spun happiness, shook

      and left you to the darkness ... yea my mind

      moves to the slap and the sway of it.

      ... shall I be feeding the fishes, now?

      Or will the fishes give me

      to eat corals, rocksand, sunlight filtering,

      turtleshell, chilled fringes of moon;

      weed-broth from the crab's mouth

      and mud sifted in silver,

      seasoned with seed-pearls,

      served in a mussel-shell

      with a spoon?

      Come come, itty-bitty man!

      Come come! The fishes sing.

      One for Mummy,

      one for Daddy,

      eat your nice pudding!

      Ha! The blue waves. New and drinkable sky.

      Out there where the rainbow lives

      and soon shall I.

      The men who poison the rainbow

      poison the mind of me

      with an ill wind, and a sick rain,

      and they drive me to the sea;

      and the sun lies in a crooked way,

      and gods die as people pray,

      and fear spreads fungous through decay.

      But I shall soon be free ...

      ... soon in the sun-silk water I shall drop away,

      leaving my clothes behind, for there is blight on them.

      Soon I am ready. Are you coming with me?

      ... leaving your clothes behind, for there is blight on them.

      Why don't you take them off? Take off your clothes, I say!

      Your soul is rotting with it - I can see the mark,

      mark of a madman. Stay behind and save the world!

      I shall be under the bridges that you burn

      crowned with a crown of swimming sticklebacks

      to keep the twisted thorns out of my hair.

      Washed in the running radiance of pearls

      I'll have sweet skin, and I shall laugh! as stern

      Nemesis chokes you in your deadly air.

      Forward to Index

      Hiawatha & the Midges

      By the shores of Gichi Gumi

      Rising from the Big Sea Water

      See the cloud of tiny midges

      Hear them singing in the sunshine

      Happy to be free and flying

      Happy to be near the forest

      Near the tents and near the tipis

      Hear them singing to the horses

      Pawing in the summer forest

      See them settle on Nokomis

      Stitching hides and flapping wildly

      See them cover Minnehaha

      Running to the cooling water

      See them follow Hiawatha

      Running after Minnehaha

      Flying in their ears and noses

      Lodging in the braid and buckskin

      Up the skirt and in the breechcloth

      In the moccasins
    and leggings

      Feasting on their legs and faces

      Then said mighty Hiawatha

      I will make a fire of pine wood

      Offer to the Great White Spirit

      To the great Gichi Manitou

      Many prayers and supplications

      Ask Him how to stop the itching

      How to send away the midges

      Then he rescued Minnehaha

      From the shining Big Sea Water

      Sent her off to look for firewood

      And he sent Nokomis with her

      Itching, scratching as they foraged

      Still pursued by hymning midges

      Then the mighty Hiawatha

      In the whining of the midges

      In the cries of Minnehaha

      Heard Gichi Manitou speaking

      Heard Him ask for many branches

      Set in heaps around the tipis

      Burning in a sacred circle

      Sending up their smoke to Heaven

      And he said to old Nokomis

      This will chase away the midges

      This will stop their biting, biting

      Their infuriating singing

      Go and make a paste of honey,

      Cedar, salt and burning garlic

      This will stop the bites from itching

      On your wrinkled face and fingers

      On my hero’s breast and belly

      Then with all the balm remaining

      I will massage Minnehaha

      As the smoke ascends to Heaven

      And she smiles in my embraces

      See the cloud of angry midges

      Rising from the tents and tipis

      Out of wampum bag and wigwam

      Rising angry through the forest

      In the smoke that bears them upward

      Smoke of sly Gichi Manitou

      Chasing from the sacred circle

      From the skin of Minnehaha

      From the skin of old Nokomis

      From the skin of Hiawatha

      From their cradle by the Water

      All the midges of the forest

      Then the sly Gichi Manitou

      Called upon great Animikii,

      Called the Thunderer to aid him

      Save His people from their torment

      For the Thunderbird is mighty

      Mightier than Hiawatha

      And his wings eclipse the Heavens

      And his winds are like a bellows

      Blowing life and death before him

      See him sweep the clouds of midges

      From the forest to the mountain

      From the mountain to the ocean

      From one ocean to another

      New and shining Big Sea Water

     

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