Into The Fire
by Pauline Edwards
Copyright 2014 Pauline Edwards
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Table of Contents
Into The Fire
Diagnosis Is Disguise
Nightmares
Advil
Time Clock Heroin Break Out of Time
World Spins
Ripple Effect
My Devotion
Circadian Grief
Forever
Lifecycle Poem
RIP
Shattered
Get On/Get Off
Behind the Veil
Turning Thirty
Centipede
Justine
Star Gazer
Walking On My Toes
Season of Rain
Changing Winds
Capricorn Moon
Brandon’s Poem
White
Point
Archaic Memories
Totem
They’ll beg you to stay.
A Lasting Impression
Diamonds and Dust
The List
About the Author
Other books by Pauline
Into the Fire
Lungs choke on smoke
like a fish out of water,
still I swim on into the fire.
Flesh is charring, skin is gone,
still I march on into the fire.
Even when my bones are done,
yes even then, I’ll linger some,
burning, turning into the fire.
Diagnosis Is Disguise
Diagnosis is disguise for what really lies
underneath it all.
The subconscious crawl away from the truth
just to avoid pain is what really hurts,
and is all what will remain until crawling ends
and embracing begins of life as it is,
not as it could have been.
Nightmares
I remember exactly where I was
when I lost my mind.
I was sleeping and in a dream
by a sea
being dragged in.
Sea monsters would eat me.
Land creatures would beat me
and then?
I cried “I surrender!”
I surrender.
I admit.
Advil
It’s a sad day in hell
when you’ve swallowed your last Advil.
You’re not supposed to pop so many pills,
but it really helps you with the pain.
Just before it rains, you can feel it in your bones.
It’s coming on again, so you take a double dose.
Nothing feels the same since the accident,
not walking in the rain; now you don’t mind getting wet.
Walking in the rain,
clouds swim above your head
and the pressure starts to build.
It’s coming on again.
Nothing feels the same since the accident,
not walking in the rain; it washes away all your guilt.
Walking in the rain,
clouds swim above your head.
Nothing feels the same
and you know it never will. It never will.
Time Clock Heroine Break Out of Time.
Time time
addicted to time the quick fix of now now now
and then then then.
Then then then break the glass
trickle turns to blast and black out on time spent too fast.
The counter clock ticks away. The counter clock a heartbeat sways.
The Time, still mind, will find you, never leave you timeless.
Mind will find you, never leave you timeless.
Drug pusher, time pusher, cling closer, grip tighter.
Time glass enclosure - can see beyond but find no way out.
Drug pusher, time pusher, cling closer, grip tighter.
But sand slips in hands and falls away fast.
Just when the rush has passed,
Time turns around. Just when it's over at last
time turns around and we gasp.
World Spins
World spins around in thoughts.
Look inside yourself, there you will find calm.
It’s real. I feel closer now to the sun.
It’s real. I feel our hearts beating as one.
World spins out of control.
Look inside yourself, there you will find calm.
It’s real. I feel closer now to the sun.
It’s real. I feel our hearts beating as one.
Don’t be a victim of lies; you can free your mind.
You can truly decide how you want to live your life.
Don’t be a victim of lies; you can free your mind.
You can truly decide: time to rise and shine.
All you sleepers it’s time;
all you weepers stop crying;
all you blingers stop buying
all the shit they’re prescribing.
All you doctors with pills,
I’m gonna send you the bill.
You owe me thousands of lives
in overdoses and suicides.
And you politician men,
can you stand your own reflection?
Turn your life around; stand up to corporations.
And the judges on the benches - justice represented -
please don’t let us down, you’ll get your own judgment.
All concerned men and women, all the beautiful children,
we are in this together; we can make our world better.
Stand up for the truth, we’ve got everything to lose.
Find strength from above, fight for what you love.
Ripple Effect
Come to the right place at the right time
to join forces, put together our creative minds.
With enough energy a ripple can become a wave.
Enough people acting together will create a change.
My voice is singing out - I'm ready.
I stand by my choice.
Your voice is singing out - you're ready.
Together we can make some noise.
Two voices whispering is unnoticeable.
Two million voices whispering together is much more profound.
Imagine the sound.
Two hearts in love beat together as a single drum.
Seven billion people on this planet, what if we loved everyone?
The smallest ripple in the ocean can become a wave.
My voice is singing out; I'm ready to embrace a change.
Two voices whispering together is just gossip dear.
Seven billion voices is something to fear.
The secret's out, humanity dropped the act.
People remember now what's important
and they want it back.
Forget about distractions like money, drugs, lust, war and greed.
The people are hungry now, and it is their souls, their souls to feed.
My Devotion
Don’t know what to do. I’m caught up in my head.
I feel so confused, like all my soul mates are dead.
I’m standing alone in unfamiliar places.
I look around, can’t recognize any faces.
I close my eyes and look into my heart.
I know the answers are there, so I try to look harder.
All this s
earching inside has got me running in circles.
Time after time it all comes down to one question.
Who do you love?
Who do you love?
Then all of a sudden, my confusion clears.
I feel your love come and answer my prayers.
Circadian Grief
Coming on again,
this pain repeats.
My body remembers;
counts the beats around
a hormone clock;
drives unconscious thought
through the meniscus,
inciting tears and limps
around holidays, birthdays,
and special achievements;
never fully forgets;
grinds me back into the past,
each new cycle
forging deeper the last.
Forever
All my friends have wondered
when am I coming home?
All my friends have wondered
where did I go?
I was in the water waiting.
I was in the water waiting for...
All my friends have told me
you're never coming home.
All my friends have told me
you are forever gone.
But you are forever.
Sometimes I can hear you.
Sometimes I can feel you.
Sometimes I can see you.
Sometimes I can touch you.
I am never going home.
I am waiting here.
I am forever gone.
I am forever. You are forever.
We are forever.
Lifecycle Poem
A butterfly does not lament
over cocoon lost nor larval days spent
crawling over green grass and dirt
else dangling breezily by thread to search
for nothing more than to pass the time
to breath the air, or else to dine.
But instead wonders ‘round the natal perch
and wastes no time for that clumsy first:
a flight into the afterlife, whereby the taste of freedom
washes away all thoughts of those laborious days
crawling hungry inch by inch;
the pain of birth by bursting skin;
the dark and lonely days inside;
that led her to this stage in life.
And yet butterflies cannot prevent
this almighty natural sequence,
and so surrender comes as their defense.
How unlike humans in that sense,
who fight against change at every stance,
who equate change with death
and decidedly so are born just once.
RIP
Along the rice patties
I saw a dead man dying.
Gasping, still walking,
how hard he was trying
to hold on to life.
Arm outstretched, arm clutching
chest, he staggered forward
as if forward were best.
Perhaps he was striving
for a better place to rest
than underneath the highway
in Hsinchu County, going West.
Shattered
What a surprise this is; sky’s falling to pieces,
systematically destroying all our senses.
No