CONTENTS

  TITLE PAGE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  COPYRIGHT PAGE

  Penelope Kingston loved getting reports. She adored seeing all her excellent marks lined up in a row. They were proof of how well she was doing at school. Penelope always sent a copy of her report to her dad, who lived interstate. He paid her twenty dollars for every A. This meant that at the end of each term, Penelope was EXTREMELY happy with herself. She was also quite rich.

  Of course, it was necessary to get good marks all through the year so she could keep enjoying excellent reports. So, at school on Monday morning, Penelope was excited as she waited for the results of her latest maths test. To tell the truth (and Penelope always told the truth), she had found the test very easy. In fact, she was hoping for a perfect score.

  Ms Pike was trying to get around the classroom to hand the tests back to each student. While she did that, everyone was supposed to be getting on with some English comprehension questions. Unfortunately, neither of these things was going smoothly. That was because of Joanna (the naughtiest girl in the class).

  Joanna was scrunching up pieces of paper into little balls, LICKING them, putting them inside an empty pen casing and blowing them across the classroom. So far, she’d hit two live targets. On the other side of the room, Felix Unger rubbed the back of his neck, and Tilly flicked a slobber ball off her jumper.

  Ms Pike paused and looked around, her eyes narrowed. Penelope (who was very good at deducing) figured that Ms Pike suspected it was Joanna. But Ms Pike was too kind and fair to accuse her without actual evidence.

  As Ms Pike leaned down to talk to Tommy Stratton about his results, Joanna launched two more missiles. Ms Pike paused AGAIN. At this rate, it would take her half a day to get around the classroom!

  Luckily, Penelope was sitting opposite Joanna and had actual evidence that she was guilty. Penelope was (quite) sure that Ms Pike had put Joanna on her table so Penelope could influence Joanna’s BAD behaviour with her own Good behaviour. It was quite a big responsibility, but Penelope didn’t mind.

  ‘Joanna, you need to put that weapon down right now,’ Penelope said in a loud whisper. She said it in a whisper because she didn’t want the other kids to think she was dobbing. She made the whisper loud, though, in the hope that Ms Pike would hear her. Sometimes Ms Pike didn’t notice Penelope helping. This time was (unfortunately) no different.

  ‘Hang on will you, Penelope,’ Joanna said, as though she was doing absolutely nothing wrong.

  She licked two more balls of paper. Joanna often poked her tongue out, so Penelope had seen it far too many times. If she had to (though she could not think of a circumstance where she would have to), Penelope could probably describe Joanna’s tongue in great detail.

  ‘I’ve only got two more pellets I need to shoot.’

  ‘You actually don’t need to shoot any more pellets, Joanna,’ Penelope said in another (louder) whisper. ‘In fact, you could stop right now, before you get into trouble and before someone gets hurt.’

  Penelope thought it was a very convincing and logical argument. So when her best friend, Bob, opened her mouth to speak, Penelope was sure Bob was going to back her up.

  ‘You know, Jo,’ Bob began, leaning in towards Joanna, ‘you’re not doing it right. You’ve gotta use more spit and roll the balls up tighter. Then they’ll fly further and faster.’

  As she made the whooshing sound, Bob drew her hand up in the air like a rocket launching.

  Penelope huffed. Even though Bob’s advice was correct, it was not Good Advice. Unfortunately Bob didn’t see her huff because she was leaning in towards Joanna. Penelope tugged her arm so she would sit back.

  ‘Stop encouraging Joanna, Bob,’ Penelope whispered.

  Bob screwed up her nose. One of the interesting things about having her very own best friend was that Penelope could often tell what Bob was about to say, based on the faces she made. Bob screwing up her nose, for instance, made Penelope suspect that she was about to disagree with her.

  ‘I’m not exactly encouraging Joanna, Pen,’ Bob said. ‘I’m just saying if she’s going to do it, then she could do it a lot better.’

  In a weird way, it was actually quite satisfying that Penelope’s prediction was correct. It meant that Penelope really understood her best friend.

  Bob was the most terrific best friend ever. Even though she sometimes saw things differently from Penelope, most of the time Penelope didn’t mind. Because Bob always told Penelope the truth about what she was thinking, and that was a Very Important Thing in a best friend.

  Penelope reached over to confiscate Joanna’s pen so that she could convince Bob without being distracted. She did not confiscate the slobber balls, since that would have meant touching them. Without the pen they were useless anyway.

  ‘Well, teaching Joanna how to do it better actually is encouraging her,’ Penelope told her best friend.

  ‘Nah,’ Bob argued (she could be very stubborn!). ‘I really reckon Joanna would shoot those pellets anyway.’

  Normally, Penelope would have kept trying to explain why she was right, but this time she didn’t.

  Because Ms Pike was (finally) walking towards their table with the pile of tests.

  ‘You did really well,’ Ms Pike said as she handed Joanna her test. ‘You should be very proud of yourself.’

  As Joanna held up her test and beamed, Ms Pike snuck Penelope one of her small but lovely smiles. Near the beginning of the year, when Joanna was struggling with maths, Penelope had volunteered to coach her for half an hour a week after school. Now that Penelope had her very own best friend (and was quite a lot busier than she used to be) she sometimes wondered if it was worth giving up her time.

  Sometimes, Penelope suspected (even though she always used her most calm, patient voice) that Joanna wasn’t listening. One time, she actually found proof. Penelope had heard a dull, distant doof doof sound. She’d followed the sound, lifting up a section of Joanna’s bushy hair, and discovered that she had earphones hidden underneath. That had been very upsetting. If Joanna hadn’t BEGGED for another chance, insisting that her mum was going to kill her, Penelope (even though she absolutely wasn’t a quitter) might have quit.

  Now, she was glad she hadn’t. Getting one of Ms Pike’s small but lovely smiles was very nice. Plus, Penelope loved helping people (even naughty ones). 15/20 was Joanna’s best result so far.

  Penelope didn’t mind that Sarah was the next person at her table to get her test back (17/20), and she was very happy for Bob (18/20). She told herself it was POSITIVE that she was going to be the last person in the entire class to get her test back. Ms Pike was stretching out the excitement.

  Ms Pike’s small but lovely smile seemed to turn into a frown as she handed Penelope her test, but Penelope didn’t think much of it. Sometimes Ms Pike looked like that just before recess.

  Penelope shut her eyes briefly. Then she looked.

  It was as though her heart was in an elevator that had suddenly plummeted fifty stories. Not literally. Literally, her heart was in the same spot, but that’s not what it felt like.

  Because the score on her test wasn’t a perfect score.

  It wasn’t even a nearly perfect score.

  ‘Everyone makes mistakes, Penelope,’ Ms Pike said for th
e third time. The other students had gone out for recess.

  ‘Please let me do it again,’ Penelope pleaded. She could hardly believe how Truly Terrible her mistake was. She had ENTIRELY MISSED five questions on the very back page. Five questions that she could (if she’d seen them!) have answered correctly. It was, perhaps, one of the STUPIDEST things she had ever done.

  ‘I’ll do it at lunchtime. Or after school. Please, Ms Pike.’

  Ms Pike sighed.

  ‘I’m sorry, Penelope,’ she said softly. ‘I can’t let you do the test again. If I let you do that, I’d have to let everyone do it every time they made a mistake.’

  ‘But it wasn’t a normal mistake,’ Penelope pointed out. ‘I know how to answer those questions. I really do. This is just,’ she hit her forehead with the palm of her hand, ‘this is just a NIGHTMARE. I got 15/20 for a Very Important Test!’ She paused to let that sink in. And then, just in case it hadn’t sunk in properly, she continued.

  ‘I got the same mark as Joanna! And it will RUIN my report!’

  ‘Penelope,’ Ms Pike said, and now her voice wasn’t as soft, ‘you need to learn how to cope when you don’t get a perfect mark. I’m sure you won’t make the same mistake again. You need to move on.’

  Penelope took a big breath. Before she exhaled, Bob appeared at the classroom door. Well, Bob’s head appeared at the classroom door. The rest of her was probably on its way back to the playground.

  ‘Come on, Pen,’ she urged. ‘You’re going to waste the entire recess.’ Bob looked at Ms Pike and giggled. ‘No offence, Miss,’ she added.

  Even though Ms Pike didn’t like being called Miss, she smiled back. Bob was the kind of person who made other people smile. Even at this Truly Terrible time, Bob made Penelope feel a tiny bit better.

  ‘No offence taken, Bob,’ Ms Pike said. ‘Please do take Penelope out into the fresh air, or the recess will indeed be over.’

  Penelope sighed loudly.

  ‘Maybe I can do an extra test?’ she suggested.

  Penelope thought it was a Good Suggestion, but Ms Pike must have really needed her coffee, because she just shook her head and ushered Penelope out of the classroom.

  By the time Penelope got home that afternoon, she knew there was nothing she could do about the maths test. It was a Very Sad thing to know.

  Her big brother, Harry, had been to the dentist after chipping a tooth at soccer, so he was home early. You’d think a chipped tooth would have put him off soccer for a while, but he and their mum were in the front yard. Penelope’s mum was tossing the soccer ball and Harry was butting it with his head. It looked ridiculous. No hands was a silly soccer rule, if you asked Penelope. Which no-one ever did.

  ‘Hey poss, how was your day?’ her mum asked. Harry headbutted the ball and it flew past Penelope’s face, just missing her.

  ‘TERRIBLE,’ Penelope answered. ‘My day was terrible.’

  Her mum caught the ball and held onto it. Harry got an antsy look on his face and jiggled from foot to foot. Harry wasn’t good at waiting for Penelope to share her news. He could be quite selfish like that.

  ‘What happened, chook?’ her mum asked.

  ‘Well, I practically failed my maths test.’

  Normally, Penelope stuck to the facts and didn’t exaggerate. But her mum and Harry didn’t always share Penelope’s ideas about what was important, and she wanted her mum’s full attention.

  ‘Oh well,’ her mum said lightly. ‘Don’t take it to heart. There’s always next time.’

  Penelope sucked in a breath and held it.

  ‘I fail maths all the time,’ Harry joined in, still jiggling around. ‘Don’t sweat it.’

  ‘There’s no point even talking to you two about it,’ Penelope said as she walked through the front door.

  Truly, sometimes it felt like Harry and her mum were from a different planet.

  Penelope walked into the kitchen. She rolled her eyes when she saw the shopping on the bench. Honestly, when Harry went to the supermarket with her mum, they came home with even more junk food than usual.

  A big packet of Assorted Cream Biscuits was right there in front of her. Penelope always tried to stick to the guidelines of the food pyramid, but there were rarely the right foods in the house. Honestly, it was no wonder she had made such a silly mistake. She was (possibly) undernourished.

  She took a Chocolate Cream biscuit from the packet. Chocolate Cream biscuits were definitely from the top layer of the food pyramid (eat rarely). But, seeing as her mum hadn’t done a PROPER shop, Penelope didn’t have much choice but to eat it. It was the same with the Monte Carlo and the Orange Slice.

  Penelope had to admit, some things from the top of the food pyramid tasted really good. For about ten minutes, Penelope enjoyed the sugar high.

  But after that faded, Penelope just felt worse than ever.

  She wished she could phone her father and confess her Terrible Mistake right away (unfortunately she couldn’t because he was a politician and a Very Busy Man and he had a new family now). Penelope very much liked the precious twenty dollars he gave her for each A on her school report. But that was nowhere near as important as making him proud.

  Instead (because she was allowed to do this absolutely any time she wanted) she got her iPhone and texted him.

  After she pressed send, Penelope ate one more Monte Carlo. But there was still a hollow feeling inside her. She kept an eye on her iPhone, but there was no reply.

  The sad feeling she’d carried around with her all day started to change. The sad was still there, but on top of it (and four sweet biscuits) was a cross feeling. This wasn’t entirely bad. At least the cross part of her had more energy. She marched back down the hall and threw open the front door.

  ‘There is NOTHING healthy in that shopping, Mum!’ she said, standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. ‘It’s just NOT responsible,’ she finished.

  ‘Uh oh,’ Harry replied (even though she hadn’t spoken to him). He pointed to the space above Penelope in a gesture that was (unfortunately) quite familiar.

  ‘Look, that little black cloud is following you around again.’

  Penelope glared at Harry. Ever since she was little, he’d taunted her with that silly saying.

  And it didn’t even make sense. Nobody had their very own cloud, black or white.

  ‘OK, OK, time out,’ her mum said. ‘Penelope, I’ve already put some of the shopping away. There’s wholegrain bread in the pantry. And fruit in the bowl. And Grandpa dropped some vegetable soup over for dinner. Is that OK with you?’

  ‘Yes,’ Penelope said (very graciously, she thought, given that her mum had practically HIDDEN all the nutritious food). ‘I guess that’s OK.’

  It had been four hours and twenty-two minutes since Penelope texted her dad about her Terrible Mistake. That was a long wait, even for him. Perhaps he was so disappointed in her that he couldn’t bring himself to reply. Or perhaps he was too busy trying to work out how his very own daughter could make such a silly error.

  Penelope’s iPhone was on the stand next to her bed. She made sure the volume was up as high as it would go so she wouldn’t miss the beep when the message came.

  Her eyelids felt droopy, but she tried to stay awake. Even if her dad said he was awfully disappointed in her and not as proud as he should be, that would be better than no reply at all.

  Penelope was just drifting to sleep when her phone beeped.

  The message had come at 9.47 pm – way after Penelope’s normal bedtime. And it did wake her right up. She still felt bad about disappointing her father. But, in a way, it was a POSITIVE message. Her dad was right – she could make up for the mark somewhere else. Penelope was just like him really.

  Penelope Kingston didn’t get to be excellent at most things by being a quitter.

  Tomorrow was a brand new day. And Penelope was (quite) sure she’d be able to find a way to make up for her mistake. Surely she would be able to bring her marks up in another subject. One
where there was room for improvement.

  She’d just have to keep her eyes open for the right opportunity.

  On Tuesday, Penelope tried to hold on to that positive approach. She did not react when Rita (the meanest girl in the whole school) asked about her test results and then ran away laughing during Penelope’s explanation. But in all the subjects Penelope had that day, there was really not much room for improvement. Which was good in a way, because it was nice to be reminded that she was still excellent at MOST things.

  But it was frustrating too.

  Wednesday started off the same way. The first subjects were English and art, and Penelope was already on track to get very good marks in both.

  But after recess, there was drama.

  Penelope’s feelings about most subjects were quite clear. She loved English, social studies, music, art, science and maths. She wasn’t keen on physical education. Her feelings for drama, though, were confusing. Penelope had tried to sort them out by making a list.

  If anyone looked at Penelope’s list (which they hadn’t because she had written it right near the back of her exercise book, just for herself) it might seem that ‘Good Bits About Drama’ outweighed ‘Bad Bits About Drama’. But that would be underestimating how Penelope felt about improvisation.

  If Penelope ever became a drama teacher (which was unlikely because she was probably going to be a great politician like her dad) she would BAN improvisation.

  Penelope was (quite) sure that improvisation wasn’t proper drama anyway. She was more than happy to prepare for a role. She actually liked learning her lines and figuring out where to stand and how her character’s voice should sound when she had a proper script to work from.

  But improvisation was AWFUL. It was awful, for instance, to have to pretend (without ANY PROPER PLANNING OR PRACTICE) that you were at a rock concert and one of the band members pulled you onstage to sing into a microphone. Especially since the song was not even real and you were supposed to MAKE IT UP ON THE SPOT.