‘And you know what else? Scott and Ben will have invited us to their wedding. They’ll be our best friends again.’
Us to their wedding. Our best friends. Did I hear that right?
‘Us? But yesterday, I asked you if you would take me back? And you said no. You said you can’t go backwards.’
‘I said I didn’t want to be the guy you ran back to, but being the guy you ran towards, well, that’s a different thing.’ Adam isn’t looking at me; he’s still staring straight ahead. This level of emotional chat is clearly more than he’s comfortable with. It’s not his fault, it’s his Y chromosome. To his credit, he battles on. ‘I couldn’t ask you to give it all up for me, Fern. All of that. I couldn’t risk that one day you’d turn round and hate me for making you do that. But then you gave it up because it didn’t suit you. If you’d been the type of girl who could have gone through with that farce then I had you all wrong and I didn’t want that, Fern. You had to work it out on your own, girl. I was so proud of you back there. You looked so brave and strong, telling the hottest rock singer and songwriter Britain has ever produced, the world press and your thousand guests to fuck off.’ Adam’s smiling now; it’s a broad, uninhibited smile. The best smile I’ve seen from him, or anyone for that matter, in months.
‘I didn’t say that exactly,’ I say with a small, shy grin.
‘You sort of did.’
Once again we lapse into silence. I don’t know exactly what to say. I don’t want to rush at him, force anything, move too quickly or set any deadlines. None of these things would be right. Instead we both sit and enjoy the moment. I breathe in the smell of foliage and peonies.
‘Hey guys, we’re closing up now. You have to get on your way,’ calls out the guy who owns the peony stall. Adam and I scramble to our feet and splutter apologies for inconveniencing him by delaying his packing-up. The guy shrugs, not worried, not bothered.
We start to walk out of the warehouse and towards the bright LA streets. Adam puts his arm around me. It feels just the right weight.
‘Tell me some more about how it might work out,’ I say. ‘You know, the future you imagine, tell me more about that. Do you really think Ben and Scott might make it?’
‘OK, well, let’s imagine Ben is right that Scott is gay, and you are wrong to assume he was just experimenting or indulging.’
‘But Ben still doubts Scott’s ability to be faithful,’ I point out.
‘Ah, but you might be right about Scott there. You’ve always maintained that as soon as Scott finds the right person he’ll settle down. Maybe he’ll be content and complete with Ben. Other people might catch Scott’s eye but they won’t turn his head.’
‘And the American market? Is his career over?’
‘No way. Wedding Album will go to number one. First, he can really play the jilted lover bit. That will get the sympathy gushing in and then he will tell the world he’s gay. The Americans will love Scott’s sincerity, you know, especially if he comes out on Oprah. He’ll storm America.’ I smile, delighted with this idea.
‘And Jess will meet someone really special and live happily ever after?’ I add, just to tie up loose ends.
‘Yeah, she will. It might be that guy from the Purple Lounge last night. She didn’t get back to the hotel until four a.m. and she was wearing that crazy grin of hers.’
‘I know the one. So, it will all be all right,’ I confirm.
‘Most of the time,’ says Adam.
He pulls me towards him and we hold on to each other, enjoying our quiet moment in the baking sun. We stay like that for an age and then we break apart and set off towards the car.
‘Do you have any money on you for the parking lot?’ I ask.
‘Yes.’
‘Is it too soon to start scrounging off you?’
‘No,’ says Adam. ‘I’m a manager of a band now, I can slip you a few dollars. As long as you pay me back, with interest,’ he jokes.
‘I’m broke,’ I point out. ‘And I don’t have a job.’
‘Maybe you can buy the B&B off Ben. If not, you’ll have to pay me in kind,’ he grins suggestively, and I feel a faint fluttering against the lining of my stomach as excitement and hope hiccup back into my soul.
‘Sounds good.’
‘It’s too soon to propose, though, yeah?’ he asks.
‘A bit,’ I admit.
‘OK, I’ll ask you tomorrow,’ says Adam with a satisfied smile.
‘You do that,’ I beam back, smug in my ordinary ever after.
Acknowledgements
Enormous thanks go to Linda Di-Marcello for her generous support of Sparks, the children’s medical research charity. Their sole remit is to fund research across the entire spectrum of paediatric medicine. Their goal is for all babies to be born healthy and stay healthy.
To learn more about Sparks, visit www.sparks.org.uk.
Enormous thanks also go to Fern and Jim Dickson for their generous support of the Helen Feather Memorial Trust. The aims of the Trust are to support people with cancer and raise money for carefully selected Cancer Research Projects.
To learn more about the Helen Feather Memorial Trust, visit www.helenfeathertrust.co.uk.
Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Prologue
Love Lies
1. Fern
2. Fern
3. Scott
4. Fern
5. Fern
6. Fern
7. Fern
8. Fern
9. Fern
10. Fern
11. Fern
12. Fern
13. Scott
14. Fern
15. Fern
16. Fern
17. Fern
18. Fern
19. Fern
20. Fern
21. Scott
22. Fern
23. Fern
24. Fern
25. Fern
26. Fern
27. Scott
28. Fern
29. Fern
30. Fern
31. Fern
32. Fern
33. Fern
34. Scott
35. Fern
36. Fern
37. Fern
38. Fern
39. Fern
40. Fern
41. Scott
42. Fern
43. Scott
44. Fern
45. Fern
46. Fern
47. Fern
48. Fern
49. Scott
50. Fern
51. Fern
52. Scott
53. Fern
54. Scott
55. Fern
56. Scott
57. Fern
58. Scott
59. Fern
60. Fern
61. Fern
62. Fern
63. Scott
64. Fern
65. Fern
66. Fern
67. Fern
68. Fern
69. Scott
70. Fern
71. Fern
72. Fern
73. Fern
74. Fern
Acknowledgements