Spectacular mayhem ensues when Timothy Brights, in typically dim fashion, lands in bed with the Chief Constable’s wife. And things go seriously wrong when the Chief Constable tries to frame his old adversary, the upright Miss Midden.

The fourth hilarious title in Lowis Lowry's popular Gooney Birdseries! It’s a cold January at the Watertower Elementary School--the perfect weather for Gooney Bird Greene to break out her special brain-warming hat! It's a good thing she has one. Gooney Bird's brain will need to be as warm as possible this month, because Mrs. Pidgeon is teaching her class about poetry. Who knew there could be so many different ways to write a poem? Haikus, couplets, limericks—Mrs. Pidgeon’s students soon find that writing good poetry takes a lot of hard work and creative thinking. Gooney Bird and her classmates are up to the challenge. But just when things are going well, the kids get some terrible news. Gooney Bird will need all the inspiration her brain can muster to organize the most important poem the class has ever written.

At the Angler’s Rest, a bucolic English pub, drinking hot scotch and lemon, sits one of Wodehouse’s greatest raconteurs. Mr. Mulliner tells fabulous stories of the extraordinary behaviour of his far-flung family.

When Brick and Spiritwind drunkenly head out into the universe for a dance and takeaway food, they awake enrolled at Evil University, and after the Vice-Chancellor takes a liking to the pair's philosophy, he sets about making them the new ideological hope for all mischief.Given a tip for a galactic hot spot, complete with dance floor and attached takeaway, Brick and Spiritwind head towards Fluffy McCoy's with a smile and a chat up-line beneath each sleeve; unfortunately, They's drunken memory tells their ship to go to Huffy LeRoy's by mistake: a bus depot with a dilapidated pub, hanging on for sanity and rare custom.Determined to have fun wherever they are, Brick and Spiritwind pull up a chair at Bozo and Schmuk's booth, two beasts of defiant size who are off to start a henchman training course at Evil University; as politeness spills forth and drink flows, the heroes offer the monstrous duo a lift. When they awake the next morning, they find themselves enrolled on the megalomaniac course, under threat of a thousand pinches and eternal headlocks should they try to leave. Adopting the pseudonyms of Dag Nammit and Corsetry Overload, they opt for study over pain.Nicole Extravaganza and Suzy Fantastic had recently been promoted to grade three heroes, and as such had to cash in their outdated nemesis at Velos 19, the hub of hero admin and ego driven rhetoric. Discovering their nemesis had given up day to day Evil, they hear he now works as the Chancellor at Evil University, and head to the planet that houses the academia of the naughty. Whilst there, they stumble across Brick and Spiritwind's room and overhear the pair mentioning their true identities as grade five heroes. Convinced they could gain further promotion, they offer to help.Hugo Cortizone, the popstar of the hero world, has a monumental crush on the two female heroes, a crush they repeatedly spurn. When his scanners see their ship at Evil University, he considers it his duty to pay them a visit and check they're safe, and maybe to hang around long enough to try and woo a snog out of one of them, or both.Dip Sing Doolally, the chancellor and nemesis in question, decides the institution needs a figurehead for potential students to aspire to, and to increase revenue. He instructs his vice-chancellor, Spon Dooliks, to find one from the current intake and elevate their reputation through manipulated drama.Spon had always envied Good's professional and well thought out approach to the battle of light and darkness, not like Evil with its flawed plans and flippant security measures, so when he spots the heroic nature of Brick and Spiritwind, he believes he's found a duo who can not only be the new hope for bad, but also shift the entire ethos towards greater success. Dip finds the pair little more than annoying and insists they can only be used if they are martyred after achieving whatever Spon intends them to achieve. He wishes to use their memory as an icon rather than the duo themselves.The final assessment for the megalomaniac course is to take over an Earth planet in the early twenty-first century. From their Evil base, a pub by a picturesque canal, Brick and Spiritwind plan to steal the internet and infect it with the news that they now rule the world.With countless pseudonyms and missions overlapping, heroic narrative struggles to make sense of the unfolding adventure, but with a pen and paper, and the odd shot of rum, it slowly falls into place as Good and Evil battle with their own identities as much as each other.

Literary sleuth Thursday Next is out to save literature in the fifth installment of Jasper Fforde's wildly popular series Beloved for his prodigious imagination, his satirical gifts, his literate humor, and sheer silliness, Jasper Fforde has delighted book lovers since Thursday Next first appeared in The Eyre Affair, a genre send-up hailed as an instant classic. Since the no-nonsense literary detective from Swindon made her debut, literature has never been quite the same. Neither have nursery rhymes, for that matter. With two successful books of the Nursery Crime series under his belt, Fforde takes up once again the brilliant adventures of his signature creation in the highly anticipated fifth installment of the Thursday Next series. And it's better than ever. It's been fourteen years since Thursday pegged out at the 1988 SuperHoop, and Friday is now a difficult sixteen year old. However, Thursday's got bigger problems. Sherlock Holmes is killed at the Reichenbach Falls and his series is stopped in its tracks. And before this can be corrected, Miss Marple dies suddenly in a car accident, bringing her series to a close as well. When Thursday receives a death threat clearly intended for her written self, she realizes what's going on: there is a serial killer on the loose in the Bookworld. And that's not all--The Goliath Corporation is trying to deregulate book travel. Naturally, Thursday must travel to the outer limits of acceptable narrative possibilities to triumph against increasing odds. Packed with word play, bizarre and entertaining subplots, and old-fashioned suspense, Thursday's return is sure to be celebrated by Jasper's fanatical fans and the critics who have loved him since the beginning.

Greegs & Ladders is a wildly exciting tale of three oddball characters romping around space and time. Equal parts social satire and fun loving adventure, Greegs promises laughs, a few mildly intelligent and/or interesting observations, & several run-on sentences. You'll also get to find out what the hell Greegs are, and how life on Earth came to be, and the meaning of it all (at no extra charge.)Greetings Earth creatures. This book has been dropped off on your planet for the purpose of... well, for you to read it. I'm not sure if you'll like it, I might not if I was you. I'd wager many of you won't be big fans. The investment banking community will especially be... put off by some of what is contained here. An advanced copy was sent to your virtual place of worship 'Reddit' and met with mixed results. While spending nearly a full day on the front page, many Earthlings voiced their stern displeasure with the book. Many others found it lovely. I'm not sure who I'm more concerned for. Either way this is a book I only meant to help with. I know sometimes books, words and ideas can make you humans angry; but then again, pretty much everything seems to do that. In the end, just remember it's only words in a book. Can't we all just get along and go for a swim instead?

Gooney Bird Greene likes to be right smack in the middle of everything. That's why she wants to have the lead role of Squanto in her class Thanksgiving pageant. But that role will go to whoever finds someone to be the room mother. All the parents are so busy, no one can bring cupcakes to the play. Gooney Bird Greene to the rescue! She finds a room mother alright, but promises not to tell who it is until the day of the play. Now the kids are really busy getting ready for the show. But will the mystery room mother really show up?

The protagonist’s advocacy against mass accusation on him being ‘not man enough’. He also contests the parallel label of ‘not woman enough’. The jury is already out as he puts up his witty advocacy against the pop cultural benchmarks over gender appropriates and massive peer pressure on men and women alike for being ‘something enough’. It is for readers to preside on the judgment. He needs you!The protagonist’s advocacy against mass accusation on him being ‘not man enough’. He also contests the parallel label of ‘not woman enough’. The jury is already out as he puts up his witty advocacy against the pop cultural benchmarks over gender appropriates and massive peer pressure on men and women alike for being ‘something enough’. It is for readers to preside on the judgment. He needs you!It is not only about being not a man enough. This predicament is similar for women too. This label of not man enough also extends to women as being not women enough. Rather, women in contemporary culture have to struggle with this label far more than men. In modern culture, there are so many stupid and populist benchmarking of a women’s desirable persona and imagery that it is really tough for a woman to feel comfort and wellness with her natural body and mind, let alone with a choice, which does not conform to populist imagery.The protagonist not only attempts a joint advocacy against the label of being ‘not man enough’ as well as being ‘not women enough; he also has a silly perspective on what ‘enough’ benchmark the populist cultures must have for larger wellness of gender mutuality. He surely needs your vote. Do bail him out!

Hurrah! It is time for more Wonka, and the way of the Life Plan; even better now that Owner has found some new bedtime reading with a finger on the pulse of the universe - between this and Jung who is still hanging round the kitchen, can Wonka’s firm advice (dinner lady? You!) hold sway? Well do read the very latest to find out, stick the kettle on, feet up and enjoy. With our love of course.xWe proudly present the very latest in the lives of Owner and her forgiving life plan, with plenty of ready advice from Wonka who can discern sense from nonsense in seconds; but how to persuade Owner? She is busy sorting sheds, cooking up a storm and all with the blessing of her new find, a book to reveal the very secrets of the Universe. All the ancient wisdom, all of Jung’s deep thinking brought together in a small paperback by the bed. Will anyone survive Owner’s fighting spirit? Ah, but it is a happy spirit, and bound to make you smile. So read on, and like Wonka, find a warm place in the sun. With big love x

Vast. Criminal. Enterprise. The New World Order is in full swing. Country by country, economic warfare is bringing ordinary people to their knees. Meanwhile, presumed dead and perpetually on the run, John and Jane are having a mid-life crisis. Can this marriage and democracy be saved? All Greek To Me - Book II in The Quiet Rooms Trilogy.Vast. Criminal. Enterprise. The New World Order is in full swing. Country by country, economic warfare is bringing ordinary people to their knees. Meanwhile, presumed dead and perpetually on the run, John and Jane are having a mid-life crisis. Can this marriage and democracy be saved? All Greek To Me - Book II in The Quiet Rooms Trilogy.

Part two of "Jane 8086". Jane has just undergone some major changes! But figuring out exactly what's going on has to wait when Rembrandt receives a surprise visitor at the worst possible moment. Will Jane be exposed? Will Rembrandt finally manage to have dinner? Will Jane ever learn to use conjunctions? Find out in Part two of Jane 8086!No trees were harmed or paperwork filed in the creation of this document, but the author has done it again: wasting precious cyberspace with another piece of silly drivel. So take another romp through the fickle world of Foible, where a sense of humor is your only weapon against incomprehension. There is no redeeming value in this story whatsoever, except perhaps to make you smile. At least there are no Princesses involved this time. Follow an Official Investigator to the hamlet of Happytown to prevent the emergence of a Prophesied Hero, but what happens next would even flummox Prophecy itself.

WARNING! This is a Zed Lab Experiment! "Me, Jesus and Adam Ant" description: Crisis of conscience, communications of service and mental uneasiness of an over 40 with the star name.A star. It hadn't been a war, a government takeover, or even an earthly disaster. It was a star that had ended the world, with Crystal right at the heart of it, and all that stood between her and instant death was a desk.Her chances at survival were slim, but she did it. Despite her luck, the world did not receive the same fate. With a man she's only just met, Crystal must continue to survive. Determined to reinstate her old way of life, Crystal must come to terms with more than just physical loss, but the chance of losing herself in the process.

Diary of a Dweeb is the story of a teen who grows into her own with the help of lessons learned and by people in her life, including a new boy at school. This is a work in progress for now.....Enter the hidden world of the fae, the most ancient race on the planet and uncover the inner origins of humanity.There is an unseen war going on between the Light and the Dark, and seventeen year old Siri Alvarsson holds the fate of the world in her hands. Her whole life has been leading up to this moment -- training in martial arts and parkour with her mom, learning the legends of old and traveling from town to town. Now, she's in a new town, she's met a gorgeous guy she'd like to trust, and she's having strange visions.The pressure is on to choose a side. Both sides need her if they want to win. The futures of humanity, the fae, and the entire planet all depend on Siri. Which side will she choose? Can one girl really save the world alone?Ellis Logan’s new YA Fantasy series, Inner Origins, is action-packed with magic and romance. The books combine fairies, Celtic/Norse mythology, and hollow earth theory to create an adventure you’ll never forget.Rave Reviews for Shades:"Ellis Logan has come onto the YA novel scene with a strong funny, teen-age protagonist by the name of Siri Alvarsson. Siri is a likable character who, despite her normal adolescent insecurities, can still hold her own, which is refreshing to see. More than a coming of age story, it felt like a coming into one's own story. And yes, it has the requisite love triangle, of course, because she’s a teenager discovering herself as a woman. Siri finds herself coming into some abilities (coming into her power as a woman?) which get progressively stronger. She ends up on a quest and must make choices and decisions along the way. On one level, her choice could simply determine the next turn in the quest to save those she’s trying to save. However, on another level, her choice is all about her. Does she choose to honor and support her own strength and power, and independence, or does she give her power away? The action is amazing, as is the folklore background. Logan's descriptive wordplay is impressive, painting the scene for us like a canvas. There were literally spots I wanted to stop and enter the book, they sounded so lovely." ~ L.Shab"Ms. Logan has written a strong, fast paced story. Her world building was vivid and descriptive. Between that and the well developed characters, I was immediately pulled into the story. Every chapter added something new and exciting to the story. The author did an excellent job of getting seventeen-year old mannerisms, attitudes, vocabulary and humor down to almost perfect.The plot and writing are strong and this is more than a story between good and evil or light and dark. For a seventeen year old girl, Siri has a lot on her plate and hard decisions to make on her. On the up side, there are two handsome young men who want her attention, and an adorable pet squirrel named Miko, so it's not all bad. The end tied up the existing story nicely but left enough questions and situations open for the next book. For a first time fantasy author - well done!" ~ D. Christiana"Ellis Logan bursts on to the fantasy scene with a fast pace, suspenseful story about Siri Alvarsson, who discovers that her life is not what it seemed. As she discovers the truth, she is taken to worlds that she never knew existed. As the story progresses, so does the suspense, leaving you wondering what will happen next and wanting more. Ellis Logan takes you on a wonderful and magical journey. The question that begs for answers? How much of this is truth vs. fiction? Imagination vs. reality. Ellis Logan will challenge any and all preconceived notions about what we believe is real and supports her theories with scientific data. It will make you question so many things that happen in real life. I honestly loved it and cannot wait for the next book in the series." ~ E. Wolff

Sophie Dempsey is content living a quiet life filming wedding videos until an assignment brings her to Temptation, Ohio. From the moment she drive into town, she gets a bad feeling; Sophie is from the wrong side of the tracks and everything in Temptation is a little too right. And when she has a run-in with the town's unnervingly sexy mayor, Phineas Tucker, making a little movie turns out to be more than a little dangerous. Yield to oncoming desire... All Sophie wants to do is film the video and head home. All Phin wants to do is play pool with the police chief and keep things peaceful. They both get more than they bargained for when Sophie's video causes an uproar and the proper citizens of Temptation set out to shut them down. Welcome to temptation... As events spiral out of control, Sophie and Phin find themselves caught in a web of gossip, blackmail, adultery, murder, and really excellent sex. All hell breaks loose in Temptation as Sophie and Phin fall deeper and deeper in trouble...and in love.