Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft he found himself out of a job. Now he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed. Unfortunately his rebel family is along for the ride.Includes simple but hilarious illustrations![For those of you who downloaded this before 12/18/15: We apologize for the mixup on book content. The problem is now corrected! Please download again and enjoy the hilarity.]In a galaxy ravaged by tyranny, planets are destroyed at the push of a button and empires are brought down by farm boys and scoundrels. Dark Zader was one of the most powerful men in the galaxy, but when he threw his emperor down a shaft, he found himself without a job.Living with his kids and down on his luck, he finds that he only has one solution, beg for his old job back from the very emperor he thought he'd killed.Read as this family of rebel scum scrambles to prepare a dinner fit for an emperor in the most ridiculous culinary experience ever.Double the excitement.Triple the laughs.Paintbrush illustrations.This is...Family Wars Episode I: The Forced Dinner

Marvin and Stuart get to sleep over at Nick Tuffle’s house for Nick’s birthday. They set out sleeping bags in the Tuffles’ backyard. Stuart and Nick fall right to sleep, but Marvin tosses and turns. Then he hears a noise, and something glowing zooms over his head. Is it really a flying birthday cake? Or something else? The next day, a very strange new kid shows up at school. . . .

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas is the best chronicle of drug-soaked, addle-brained, rollicking good times ever committed to the printed page. It is also the tale of a long weekend road trip that has gone down in the annals of American pop culture as one of the strangest journeys ever undertaken.

After stepping far beyond the warm-beer and soggy-chip comforts of England, Percy Field has finally accepted his lot. While the move to Singapore was everything Percy expected, in this new place was both inexplicable and unexpected.But life for the disagreeable expat is not destined to be easy.After stepping far beyond the warm-beer and soggy-chip comforts of England, Percy Field has finally accepted his lot. While the move to Singapore was everything Percy expected, finding joy in this new place was both inexplicable and unexpected.But life for the disagreeable expat is not destined to be easy. When providence plays an unlikely hand in the form of a manipulative elderly resident, Percy finds himself sliding towards trouble. Like it or not, there are people who think a great deal of him, but how far can friendship be pushed?

The narrator is Ray Midge, down-at-the-heels Southerner after his wife. "Norma had run off with Guy Dupree and I was waiting around for the credit card billings to come in so I could see where they had gone." The fussbudget is assailed by tropical storms, grifters, hippies, car trouble, and candy wrappers at high speed "wind came up through the floor hole in such a way that the Heath wrappers were suspended behind my head in a noisy brown vortex". Leech Dr Reo Symes is a font of dubious financial schemes and fluff such as a circus "fifty-pound rat from the sewers of Paris, France. Of course it didn't really weigh fifty pounds and it wasn't your true rat and it wasn't from Paris, France, either. It was some kind of animal from South America."

Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. And on Discworld that is the job of the Monks of History, who store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater -- how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time, for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd. Because it will stop time. And that will only be the start of everyone's problems. Thief of Time comes complete with a full supporting cast of heroes and villains, yetis, martial artists and Ronnie, the fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse (who left before they became famous).

This for Nadia. It was three in the morning, and I had a Martian in my house. Just how drunk was I? But here he was, looking like something molded out of play doh. What else could I do but have another drink and make us fish finger sandwiches.Three in the morning. I was drunk. Nothing new there. I needed to pee, and found "Joe" in my lounge.Don't get me wrong. Joe's a nice guy. He just happens to come from Mars. So, we talked a while, had fish finger sandwiches, he asked a lot of stupid questions, and I'm still drunk.

The BFB (Big Fat Baby) is missing! Can Rover the wonder dog and his little nephew Messi (who is actually very tidy) track her down? While Rover and co. are hot on the trail of the BFB, via Granny Mack's backpack, the post lady's basket and a plane bound for Africa, it looks like the Gigglers are about to run out of poo . . . and without an urgent delivery from Rover, how will they be able to give the Giggler Treatment to grumpy adults and help kids all over the country? Rover returns for another adventure in this illustrated series by Booker Prize-winner Roddy Doyle.

The time is 1925. The place, St. Louis, Missouri. Charley Floyd, a good-looking, sweet-smiling country boy from Oklahoma, is about to rob his first armored car. Written by Pulitzer Prize winner Larry McMurtry and his writing partner, Diana Ossana, Pretty Boy Floyd traces the wild career of this legendary American folk hero, a young man so charming that it's hard not to like him, even as he's robbing you at gunpoint. From the bank heists and shootings that make him Public Enemy Number One to the women who love him, from the glamour-hungry nation that worships him to the G-men who track Charley down, Pretty Boy Floyd is both a richly comic masterpiece and an American tragedy about the price of fame and the corruption of innocence.

What happens when your life goes to crap the week of Christmas? You invite a hot Marine you met in an airport bar to come home with you for the holidays, to distract your crazy family from the truth. With a handsy aunt, a meddling mother and a father concerned for the wellbeing of his daughter's eggnog, there's no chance Sam and Noel will have time to fall in love...or will they? **The Stocking Was Hung is a full-length, standalone Christmas novel that will make you laugh, make you HOT and maybe even make you say, "Awwwww" a few times.

Chuck Spunk, Professor Liverwort, Tokyo the Ninja, and a Pekingese attack dog named Black Death plan to shut down an illegal laxative gas factory in Russia. Colonel Caviar and the Lemming Patrol intend to stop them.Broken is the first in The Siren Series. A young adult paranormal romance that will keep you in suspense cover to cover.Ellie Laveau is a shy, quiet sixteen year old girl, but she carries a deadly gift. At school they call her a freak and are afraid of her. She is scared to touch people, since she can send them into a lustrous rage. The only thing that gets her through the day is her family and her two friends, Lilly and Becky. While walking home from school she is stalked by a strange, beautiful woman who knows much about her, and soon her life is turned around by disturbing dreams of creatures that keep her awake at night, and the threat of danger that seems to have taken an interest in her.

A boy escapes home to seek his own way in the world in a whimsical new outing by the award-winning David Almond, illustrated by Oliver Jeffers. Stanley Potts’s uncle Ernie has developed an over-the-top fascination with canning fish in the house, and life at 69 Fish Quay Lane has turned barmy. But there’s darkness in the madness, and when Uncle Ernie’s obsession takes an unexpectedly cruel turn, Stan has no choice but to leave. As he journeys away from the life he’s always known, he mingles with a carnival full of eccentric characters and meets the legendary Pancho Pirelli, the man who swims in a tank full of perilous piranhas. Will Stan be bold enough to dive in the churning waters himself and choose his own destiny?

The humors of English suburban life naively revealed by one Charles Pooter, a clerk, who has taken a house in Holloway.

It's Greenwich Village in the early 1960s, when ex-patriots, artists, and colorful bums are kings. A tiny stand selling empanadas near the corner of Bleecker and MacDougal streets is the center of the action for the shy narrator, an aspiring writer just out of college. At the stand he falls in with a crowd of kooky outcasts from Argentina who introduce him to their raucous adventures, melodramatic dreamsand women, particularly a tough little flamenco dancer from Buenos Aires. Charming and insightful, this deceptively simple novel is a tale told by a master. It is a wise coming-of-age story, full of joyand touched by heartbreak, that captures a special time and place with extraordinary empathy and humor.

In school there was a pupil, a boy called Tony. Let me tell you about him… Although baptized Anthony, everyone knew him as Tony. Although he wasn’t a bad child, not really, he was always doing something that he shouldn’t be doing, to divert people’s attention from the bugbear of life – his height – or lack of it. You see, Tony was small.In school there was a pupil, a boy called Tony. Let me tell you about him… Although baptized Anthony, everyone knew him as Tony. Although he wasn’t a bad child, not really, he was always doing something that he shouldn’t be doing, to divert people’s attention from the bugbear of life – his height – or lack of it. You see, Tony was small.While Tony was attending primary school, this strategy worked well for him. No harm ensued from the many bold things he did, to impress his taller friends, but when he progressed to grammar school, his challenging behavior was seen in an entirely different light. And it had far reaching consequences, culminating in a set of events that were talked about for many a long year after they happened...