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    Let Sleeping Vets Lie

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      "Get out here, quick. There's one of me pigs going bezique."

      "Bezique?" With an effort I put away from me a mental picture of two

      porkers facing each other over a green baize table. "I'm afraid I don't

      quite ... '

      "Aye, ah gave him a dose of worm medicine and he started jumpin" about

      and: rollin" on his back. I tell you he's going proper bezique."

      "Ah! Yes, yes I see, right. I'll be with you in a few minutes."

      The pig had quietened down a bit when I arrived but was still in

      considerable pain, getting up, lying down, trotting in spurts round the

      pen. I gave him half a grain of morphine hydrochloride as a sedative and

      within a few minutes he began to relax and finally curled up in the

      straw.

      "Looks as though he's going to be all right," I said. "But what's this

      worm medicine you gave him?"

      Mr. Pickersgill produced the bottle sheepishly.

      "Bloke was coming round sellin" them. Said it would shift any worms you

      cared to name."

      "It nearly shifted your pig, didn't it?" I sniffed at the mixture. "And

      no wonder. It smells almost like pure turpentine."

      "Turpentine! Well by gaw is that all it is? And bloke said it was summat

      new. Charged me an absorbent price for it too."

      I gave him back the bottle. "Well never mind, I don't think there's any

      harm done, but I think the dustbin's the best place for that."

      As I was getting into my car I looked up at the farmer. "You must be

      about; sick of the sight of me. First the mastitis, then the calf and

      now your pig. You've had a bad run."

      Mr. Pickersgill squared his shoulders and gazed at me with massive

      composure Again I was conscious of the sheer presence of the man.

      "Young feller," he said. "That don't bother me. Where there's stock

      there" trouble and ah know from exderience that trouble~ comes in

      cyclones."

      ~:

      Chapter Four.

      I knew I shouldn't do it, but the old Drovers" Road beckoned to me

      irresistibly. I ought to be hurrying back to the surgery after my

      morning call but the broad green path wound beguilingly over the moor

      top between its crumbling walls and almost before I knew, I was out of

      the car and treading the wiry grass.

      The wall skirted the hill's edge and as I looked across and away to

      where Darrowby huddled far below between its folding green fells the

      wind thundered in my ears; but when I squatted in the shelter of the

      grey stones the wind was only a whisper and the spring sunshine hot on

      my face. The best kind of sunshine - not heavy or cloying but clear and

      bright and clean as you find it down behind a wall in Yorkshire with the

      wind singing over the top.

      I slid lower till I was stretched on the turf, gazing with half closed

      eyes into the bright sky, luxuriating in the sensation of being detached

      from the world and its problems.

      This form of self-indulgence had become part of my life and still is; a

      reluctance to come down from the high country; a penchant for stepping

      out of the stream of life and loitering on the brink for a few minutes

      as an uninvolved spectator.

      And it was easy to escape, Lying up here quite alone with no sound but

      the wind sighing and gusting over the empty miles and, far up in the

      wide blue, the endless brave trilling of the larks.

      Not that there was anything unpleasant about going back down the hill to

      Darrowby. I had worked there for two years now and Skeldale House had

      become home and the two bright minds in it my friends. It didn't bother

      me that both the brothers were cleverer than I was. Siegfried

      unpredictable, explosive, generous; I had been lucky to have him as a

      boss. As a city bred youth trying to tell expert stock farmers how to

      treat their animals I had needed all his skill and guidance behind me.

      And Tristan; a rum lad as they said, but very sound. His humour and zest

      for life had lightened my days.

      And all the time I was adding practical experience to my theory. The

      mass of facts I had learned at college were all coming to life, and

      there was the growing realisation, deep and warm, that this was for me.

      There was nothing else I'd rather do.

      It must have been fifteen minutes later when I finally rose, stretched

      pleasurably, took a last deep gulp of the crisp air and pottered slowly

      back to the car for the six mile journey back down the hill to Darrowby.

      When I drew up by the railings with Siegfried's brass plate hanging

      lopsidedly by the fine Georgian doorway I looked up at the tall old

      house with the ivy Swarming untidily over the weathered brick. The white

      paint on windows and doors was flaking and that ivy needed trimming but

      the whole place had style, a serene unchangeable grace.

      But I had other things on my mind at the moment. I went inside, stepping

      quietly over the coloured tiles which covered the floor of the long

      passage till I reached the long offshoot at the back of the house. And I

      felt as I always did the Subdued excitement as I breathed the smell of

      our trade which always hung there; ether, carbolic and pulv aromas. The

      latter was the spicy powder which we mixed with the cattle medicines to

      make them more palatable and it had a distinctive bouquet which even now

      can take me back thirty years with a single sniff.

      And today the thrill was stronger than usual because my visit was of a

      surreptitious nature. I almost tiptoed along the last stretch of

      passage, dodged quickly round the corner and into the dispensary.

      Gingerly I opened the cupboard door at one end and pulled out a little

      drawer. I was pretty sure Siegfried had a spare hoof knife hidden away

      within and I had to suppress a cackle of triumph when I saw it Lying

      there; almost brand new with a nicely turned gleaming blade and a

      polished wooden handle.

      My hand was outstretched to remove it when a cry of anger exploded in my

      right ear.

      "Caught in the act! Bloody red-handed, by God!" Siegfried, who had

      apparently shot up through the floorboards was breathing fire into my

      face.

      The shock was so tremendous that the instrument dropped from my

      trembling fingers and I cowered back against a row of bottles of

      formalin bloat mixture.

      "Oh hello, Siegfried," I said with a ghastly attempt at nonchalance.

      "Just on my way to that horse of Thompson's. You know - the one with the

      pus in the foot. I seem to have mislaid my knife so I thought I'd borrow

      this one."

      "Thought you'd nick it, you mean! My spare hoof knife! By heaven, is

      nothing sacred, James."

      I smiled sheepishly. "Oh you're wrong. I'd have given it back to you

      straight away."

      "A likely story!" Siegfried said with a bitter smile. "I'd never have

      seen it again and you know damn well I wouldn't. Anyway, where's your

      own knife? You've left it on some farm, haven't you?"

      "Well as a matter of fact I laid it down at Willie Denholm's place after

      I'd finished trimming his cow's overgrown foot and I must have forgotten

      to pick it up." I gave a light laugh.

      "But God help us, James, you're always forgetti
    ng to pick things up. And

      you're always making up the deficiency by purloining my equipment." He

      stuck his chin out. "Have you any idea how much all this is costing me?"

      "Oh but I'm sure Mr. Denholm will drop the knife in at the surgery the

      first time he's in town."

      Siegfried nodded gravely. "He may, I'll admit that, he may. But on the

      other hand he might think it is the ideal tool for cutting up his plug

      tobacco. Remember when you left your calving overall at old Fred

      Dobson's place? The next time I saw it was six months later and Fred was

      wearing it. He said it was the best thing he'd ever found for stooking

      corn in wet weather."

      "Yes, I remember. I'm really sorry about it all." I fell silent,

      breathing in the pungency of the pulv aromas. Somebody had let a bagful

      burst on the floor and the smell was stronger than ever.

      My employer kept his fiery gaze fixed on me for a few moments more then

      he shrugged his shoulders. "Ah well, there's none of us perfect, James.

      And I'm sorry I shouted at you. But you know I'm deeply attached to that

      knife and this business of leaving things around is getting under my

      skin." He took down a Winchester of his favourite colic draught and

      polished it with his handkerchief before replacing it carefully on its

      shelf. "I tell you what, let's go and sit down for a few minutes and

      talk about this problem."

      We went back along the passage and as I followed him into the big

      sitting room Tristan got up from his favourite chair and yawned deeply.

      His face looked as boyish and innocent as ever but the lines of

      exhaustion round his eyes and mouth told an eloquent story. Last night

      he had travelled with the darts team from the Lord Nelson and had taken

      part in a gruelling match against the Dog and Gun at Drayton. The

      contest had been followed by a pie and peas supper and the consumption

      of something like twelve pints of bitter a man. Tristan had crawled into

      bed at 3 a.m. and was clearly in a delicate condition.

      "Ah, Tristan," Siegfried said. "I'm glad you're here because what I have

      to say concerns you just as much as James. It's about leaving

      instruments on farms and you're as guilty as he is." (It must be

      remembered that before the Veterinary Surgeons" act of 1948 it was quite

      legal for students to treat cases and they regularly did so. Tristan in

      fact had done much sterling work when called on and was very popular

      with the farmers.)

      "Now I mean this very seriously," my employer said, leaning his elbow on

      the mantelpiece and looking from one of us to the other. "You two are

      bringing me to the brink of ruin by losing expensive equipment. Some of

      it is returned but a lot of it is never seen again. What's the use of

      sending you to visits when you come back without your artery forceps or

      scissors or something else? The profit's gone, you see?"

      We nodded silently.

      "After all, there's nothing difficult about bringing your instruments

      away, is there? You may wonder why I never leave anything behind - well

      I can tell you it's just a matter of concentration. When I lay a thing

      down I always impress on my mind that I've got to lift it up again.

      That's all there is to it."

      The lecture over, he became very brisk. "Right, let's get on. There's

      nothing much doing, James, so I'd like you to come with me to Kendall's

      of Brookside. He's got a few jobs including a cow with a tumour to

      remove. I don't know the details but we may have to cast her. You can go

      on to Thompson's later." He turned to his brother. "And you'd better

      come too, Tristan. I don't know if we'll need you but an extra man might

      come in handy."

      We made quite a procession as we trooped into the farm yard and Mr.

      Kendall met us with his customary ebullience.

      "Hello, 'ello, we've got plenty of man power today, I see. We'll be able

      to tackle owl with this regiment."

      Mr. Kendall had the reputatian in the district of being a 'bit clever"

      and the phrase has a different meaning in Yorkshire from elsewhere. It

      meant he was something of a know-all; and the fact that he considered

      himself a wag and legpuller of the first degree didn't endear him to his

      fellow farmers either.

      I always felt he was a good-hearted man, but his conviction that he knew

      everything and had seen it all before made him a difficult man to

      impress.

      "Well what d'you want to see first, Mr. Farnon?" he asked. He was a

      thickset little man with a round, smooth-skinned face and mischievous

      eyes.

      "I believe you have a cow with a bad eye," Siegfried said. "Better begin

      with that."

      "Right squire," the farmer cried, then he put his hand in his pocket.

      "But before we start, here's something for you." He pulled forth a

      stethoscope. "You left it last time you were 'ere."

      There was a silence, then Siegfried grunted a word of thanks and grabbed

      it hastily from his hand.

      Mr. Kendall continued. "And the time afore that you left your bloodless

      castrators. We did a swop over, didn't we? I gave you back the nippers

      and you left me the earphones." He burst into a peal of laughter.

      "Yes, yes, quite," Siegfried snapped, glancing uneasily round at us,

      'but we must be getting on. Where is ... ?"

      "You know lads," chuckled the farmer, turning to us. "Ah don't think

      I've ever known 'im come here without leaving summa"."

      "Really?" said Tristan interestedly.

      ;1

      "Aye, if I'd wanted to keep 'em all I'd have had a drawerful by now."

      "Is that so?" I said.

      "Aye it is, young man. And it's the same with all me neighbours. One

      feller said to me ttother day. "He's a kind man is Mr. Farnon - never

      calls without leavin" a souvenir."' He threw back his head and laughed

      again.

      We were enjoying the conversation but my employer was stalking up the

      byre. "Where's this damn cow, Mr. Kendall? We haven't got all day."

      The patient wasn't hard to find, a nice light roan cow which looked

      round at us carefully, one eye almost closed. From between the lashes a

      trickle of tears made a dark stain down the hair of the face, and there

      was an eloquent story of pain in the cautious movement of the quivering

      lids.

      "There's something in there," murmured Siegfried.

      "Aye, ah know!" Mr. Kendall always knew. "She's got a flippin" great

      lump of chaff stuck on her eyeball but I can't get to it. Look here." He

      grabbed the cow's nose with one hand and tried to prise the eyelids

      apart with the fingers of the other, but the third eyelid came across

      and the whole orbit rolled effortlessly out of sight leaving only a

      blank expanse of white sclera.

      "There!" he cried. "Nowt to see. You can't make her keep her eye still."

      "I can, though." Siegfried turned to his brother. "Tristan, get the

      chloroform muzzle from the car. Look sharp!"

      The young man was back in seconds and Siegfried quickly drew the canvas

      bag over the cow's face and buckled it behind the ears. From a bottle of

      spirit he produced a small pair of forceps of an unusual type with tiny

      jaws
    operated by a spring. He poised them just over the closed eye.

      "James," he said, "Give her about an ounce."

      I dribbled the chloroform on to the sponge in the front of the muzzle.

      Nothing happened for a few moments while the animal took a few breaths

      then her eyes opened wide in surprise as the strange numbing vapour

      rolled into her lungs.

      The whole area of the affected eye was displayed, with a broad golden

      piece of chaff splayed out across the dark cornea. I only had a glimpse

      of it before Siegfried's little forceps had seized it and whisked it

      away.

      "Squeeze in some of that ointment, Tristan," said my employer. "And get

      the muzzle off, James, before she starts to rock."

      With the bag away from her face and the tormenting little object gone

      from her eye the cow looked around her, vastly relieved. The whole thing

      had taken only a minute or two and was as slick a little exhibition as

      you'd wish to see, but Mr. Kendall didn't seem to think a great deal of

      it.

      "Aye right," he grunted. "Let's get on with t'next job."

      As we went down the byre I looked out and saw a horse being led across

      the yard. Siegfried pointed to it.

      "Is that the gelding I operated on for fistulous withers?" he asked.

      "That's the one." The farmer's voice was airy.

      We went out and Siegfried ran his hand over the horse's shoulders. The

     

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