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    Unspoken Love During The Vietnam War

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    covered with fragments of metal,

      We moved that debris and opened the hatch,

      The smoke rose from that fiery funeral

      Somewhere below we could hear a scratch

      And this brought sights to my mind so visual

      Like Poe himself could not match,

      Like some cold corpse escaping its tomb

      Or a still born baby within the womb.

      We proceeded in silence and speed

      To rig a pulley to bring up the men,

      Half-inch Becket bend lines would aid our deed

      Now two men stayed topside for it was then

      That three of us followed Boat’s lead

      Down into hell like punishment for sin,

      And I was the last to descend within,

      And these thoughts bring hurt to my heart again.

      Down that metal ladder with rungs so warm,

      We did descend like larva to decay,

      In the dark shadows I could see the form

      Of grotesqueness for my eyes did stray

      My mind with visions far from norm

      And would bring me night terrors to this day,

      In night horrors I was soon to know

      Of chases in dreams and no places to go.

      I reached the bottom of that gray deck floor

      And raised my head slowly to look around,

      My hat light outlined to my right a door

      Which spit forth smoke and brought the sound

      Of tired moans and wails which made my ears roar,

      And forced my eyes open to what I found,

      From here on I am no longer the same

      And perhaps I am already insane.

      Each man went off a separate route,

      Trying to find those who might not be dead,

      No words were spoken, we all were mute,

      For we could hear from below with dread

      The death sound of flood pumps kicking their boot,

      And from that place we should have fled,

      For in minutes the place would be flood

      And we would be counted as part of dead blood.

      We stayed, for twenty minutes, we then had

      And Boats bee lined to that door to the right

      That gave forth the smoke, cries and wails so bad

      Which made my heart race like swallows in flight,

      Now this next vision I tell is more than sad,

      For I followed him to that space not bright,

      And he had entered into the room

      A place my mind would create as a tomb.

      At the door I paused and glanced to look down,

      Had I not, I would have stepped on an arm

      A shipmate I assumed I had found,

      I reached for the wrist to check pulse warm

      My stomach squeezed an internal alarm

      That almost made me throw up in my mask

      For to the door the arm was attached.

      Now, my friends, my tale becomes more gruesome,

      And I must now slow down my rhyming pace,

      For I want you, to feel the pain to come,

      Therefore, we all must take it fact to face.

      The world was still spinning and I was numb,

      There’s no way to tell this with grace,

      And if I ramble as I tell to you,

      My reason is simple - this tale is true.

      For the emotions that swell within me

      As I write these lines, are hard to explain,

      For I wallow in despair happily

      Some nights, and it leads me through somber rain,

      To sit alone with some warm beer and see

      Once more those scenes and relive that pain,

      For that was a day my mind would fixate

      And haunt me with an unnatural fate.

      Now if my words are at least, listened to,

      I could find comfort, but they shall not be,

      For when I shed light, I know what you'll do

      You'll throw down this rhyme and think poor of me,

      And you know - I really wouldn't blame you,

      I would do the same as you except I see

      I was wrong in my judgment and fears

      And hope my words fall not on deaf ears.

      Now if you decide to read on, please do

      And continue to listen to my rhyme,

      I only want to ask one thing of you

      Forget prejudice of your early time

      And if this you can momentarily do,

      Perhaps you to will be able to find

      The deep sorrow another soul can feel

      But please don't read on against your will.

      “God! No! Please, no!” these cries came to my ears

      And I stepped inside and saw Boats kneeling

      Beside some fire burned youth of twenty years,

      For to that burn crusted blond he did cling.

      He removed his mask and I saw his tears

      And I could see the youth’s chest, slowly spring

      To and fro but reducing all the while

      And to Boats the youth gave a weak smile.

      He was the man to whom the arm belong

      And there he laid in his own blood no good,

      He gasps, “Hey you know you got to be strong,”

      He stopped to choke then said, “I wish I could

      Tell you how I feel. We were never wrong,

      Where we? If the people just understood.”

      I listened to that queerish song,

      And I could feel in my chest a great weight

      As I watched this man’s good-bye to his mate.

      I heard that youth say, “Please hold me near,

      I don't want to die, for the first time, “I

      Was really happy,” These words, he spoke clear

      And I stood there and watched those two cry,

      For they clung, holding one another near,

      Crying, and I heard one asking God, “Why,

      After we finally find happiness

      Just to take it away from us?”

      Then Boats with a quick snap

      Pulled him close, into his lap,

      And the emotion here cannot be wrote,

      The blood kept flowing like beer from a tap

      For his stump gave forth a liquid red moat,

      Boats wiped soot and ash from his bloody face

      And caressed him with a warm embrace.

      The youth spoke, “please tell me how you love me

      You're the only one in my life to care.”

      Boats rocked him back and forth, I could see

      For I had never seen men touch so free,

      Tears from Boats falling on the youths burnt hair,

      And I never knew such a love could be

      Of two masculine men who understood the plan

      That only the soul as intelligent love did stand.

      Boats spoke as if his heart was split in two,

      “Don't talk - I want to hold you close to me.”

      He leaned and kissed him as all lovers do

      A kiss as tender as a willow tree

      For this to me was a sight so new

      I had never thought of men loving you see,

      Other than ones father and let me say

      I was touched deep inside that day.

      He showed the compassion that each had

      And they held each other so near

      It made me realize life for them was sad

      And I could feel their lonely life of fear,

      It choked my throat and tore my heart so bad,

      The power that love had here,

      So much need and loneliness on that day

      I had never before seen come my way.

      The kiss ended with a sigh that brought death

      And then from Boats I could hear a slow wail

      Like a child left alone with gasping breath

      And he kissed again those lips so pale

      And his body did shake with tears of wrath

      I'm trying to tell yo
    u but my words fail,

      To relay the emotion of love here

      Of how two men could be so near.

      Boats cried and rocked and rocked and cried,

      For no man had I seen carry on so

      This went on til it made me hurt inside

      For how long they had loved I'll never know

      But I could sense part of Boats to had died,

      And throughout his cry I could hear this moan,

      “God, please, no. I don't want to be alone!”

      Alas, my story is not over yet

      There is still much sadness and pain you see

      And let me say I never regret

      The enlightenment that happened to me

      For I can be assured and I would bet

      If you had seen, your mind would also be free

      So, let me tell you the rest that happened

      And to quicken, the remains I have shortened.

      Boats finally got his self together

      And aided in the rescue of the rest,

      For twenty-two men where what we gathered

      The news had said the death toll was six at best

      But I knew one soul had not been gathered

      Though it walked out alive is living jest

      An entity left laid in that pitted hell

      A day I shall remember well.

      Now the six of us were ordered to Captain’s Mast,

      At the mast we were awarded Courts-Martial

      The five that followed Special courts were cast,

      And Boats court was ordered a General.

      The crimes we committed could not last

      And if found guilty the military law

      States eight years to life locked in a cell

      To punish us for that primary hell.

      We were locked away in the brig that day

      To wait for our Court-martial to begin,

      But you know those damn courts never came our way,

      And we didn't have to worry to win

      For I don't know and who am I to say

      What influence came about to change it then

      But some of those saved wrote home to tell

      And the newspapers gave the Captain hell.

      I guess the publicity saved our tail

      For a Congressional Investigation

      came through slowly in the FPO mail

      And then we finally got some action

      We were released from those blaggard’s jail,

      Then they ordered for us a citation,

      One from the President of all the jerks,

      They wanted to show how the system works.

      Now, there we stood in line for that citation

      And the President had to shake our hand,

      Inside of me was no satisfaction

      There was one thing I did not understand.

      Why Boats stood in deep contemplation?

      For what was to come was ever so

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